Single and Bitter: God Told Me I Was an Idolater, Part 2

single and bitter

Before I got the revelation of Colossians 3:2, I would try to reason with God and tell Him why I thought I should be meeting Mr. Right – right now. I’d remind Him that I stopped fornicating, I joined an awesome ministry, I pray and read the word consistently. I’m like, “Lord I don’t cheat or steal, I’m kind, I watch my mouth, and I love my neighbors. Sooo, where is he, God? I know I’m not perfect by far, but I know a lot of hellraisers in happy relationships, what’s going on?”

Team, idolatry is like loving the creation more the creator.  In Part One, I mentioned that everything in this life is a foreshadow of things to come. That’s why the Bible tells us to set our mind on things above (Colossians 3:2). Again, in 2 Corinthians 4:18, Paul tells us that our focus should be on the “unseen” things – which are eternal, not the  “seen” things – which are temporary.

Train Yourself to See the Bigger Picture

This life is a training camp. I heard one woman of God say that it’s like a “carbon copy” of what God established Heaven. When we are in training for something, we can’t wait to get to the main event. Same as with our earthly lives.

Since we know everything is for spiritual development, we can also apply this to marriage.

christian marriageMarriage is a covenant between man and woman that mirrors the covenant between Christ and the Church (i.e. God and man). Ephesians 5:23 says, “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the savior of the body.”

If we live according to the Word, then the marriage relationship is the most intimate relationship we have on earth –  “...and the two shall become one flesh” (Mark 10:8). Looking at it that way, it makes sense that God uses this analogy to compare Christ’s love and commitment to the church. In John 15:13 it says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”.  We also find parallels in the Bible where God uses the same language for both covenants.

For instance, when the Israelites turned from the Lord to serve other gods, He called them adulterous and faithless (Jeremiah 3:8). In Matthew 25:10, Jesus describes the Kingdom of Heaven as a wedding banquet.

As we study the Bible and marriage, we begin to see its true beauty. Marriage is amazing, but so is being single! Yes, marriage is reflective of the Church’s union with Christ, but a reflection is not the real thing. It is merely a beautiful representation. This is good news because it means that we still have access to the real thing – which is our personal relationship with God.

Marital Blessings for a Season

Let’s think about the spiritual blessings that come along with being married. As a spouse, you may learn to be more considerate if you weren’t before. Maybe you have always been timid and indecisive, and through marriage, God shows you how to be more self-confident. Perhaps you have always been about self, very independent and self-governing, and God shows you through marriage how to serve and be humble.

There are many things we can learn from marriage, but being married is not the only way to learn. We have to remember that every circumstance in life is an opportunity to grow and improve – not simply for our pleasure, ideals, and fairytale endings.

In Luke 20:34-35, Jesus explains that in the age to come, the sons of God will not marry. News flash: In Heaven, we’re all going to be single! There is no longer any purpose for marriage there. This is something to remember when your flesh rises up and tells you that you need something temporary.

The Sweetness of Singleness

peaceIt’s possible to desire marriage without it consuming or embittering you.

So, let’s put all of this together. The Bible tells us to set our minds on things above – not on earth because everything here is temporary. On earth, marriage is symbolic of Christ’s union with the church. And, in Heaven, none of us will be married. I believe once we all get a healthy idea of marriage, we’ll be able to let go of resentment and the peace of God will sustain us until we meet our spouse or the Lord returns to bring us home.

One of my biggest mistakes while walking with God was thinking that if I did something for God – like change my life and live for Him – God had to do something for me, like bless me with the desires of my heart. Not to say that righteousness has no reward, but we need to check our heart’s motives.

Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?” Don’t assume that “good behavior” entitles you to get whatever you want.

We have to get to a place in the Lord where we just want Him. When we realize that any desire we may have on this earth is only an indirect hunger for Him. We have to have a heart that truly says, “Lord, not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22:42).

There is so much freedom in that place, Team. There is joyful liberation that comes over you when you let go of your life and live off His supply of daily bread. Nothing is more fulfilling than God’s presence. When you come into His presence, He will envelop you in a love so precious – it’s unlike anything you could ever imagine.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Pray. Ask the Lord to give you a revelation of your single season and the blessings that come with it. Remove any lingering resentment. Pray that God opens your eyes to the beauty in union with Christ and how to become more intimate with Him.

Read the Word. After you pray, find scriptures that relate and meditate on them.

God bless you!

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