Thursday, Jul 9, 2020

Destiny Partner or Destination Ride: Where’s the Relationship Going?

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Cortne Smith
Cortne Smith
Cortne Smith is the Founder of Relationship Service Station, providing full & self-service programs to promote whole and healthy relationships, with a signature program geared to equip the widow/widower to move from PAIN to PEACE. She uses her written and verbal voice to bring marriages back into God’s covenant.

Who’s Driving the Relationship?

In today’s society, we’ve set deadlines and timelines to every aspect of our lives, so we can stay in control of when we actually get to and from various destinations.

Sometimes, we apply this worldly clock to our relationships – especially when it comes to when and who we marry. Yes, God has given us free will, but we must allow the Holy Spirit to influence these decisions to either choose a Destiny Partner, or simply take a lot of destination rides.

A destination ride is when:

  • We want to be at a particular place, at a particular time.
  • We want to see specific scenery or live a certain lifestyle quickly.
  • We want to be free of accountability, and not responsible for the navigation.
  • We don’t want to be alone anymore.
  • We believe this is the perfect time to begin a family.

Have you ever taken a destination ride? Take a moment and think of some of the reasons why you entered or are currently in a relationship that God did not approve…

How Did I Choose a Destination Ride vs. a Destiny Partner?

As Christians, we can easily find ourselves on a destination ride when we:

  • Allow the Christian community to sign off on our spouse – instead of Christ.
  • Look for artificial credentials instead of authentic character to complement our life.
  • Are frightened that someone will challenge growth and transformation in our lives.
  • Look for someone compatible to our agenda, but not willing to be on the team of our assignment.

These are some of the reasons why so many divorces occur within the Christian community. Many choose destination rides, and when they reach a particular destination, that’s as far as that ride can go.

Think about this. If you’ve ever used a car service, you provide the pick-up location and the point(s) of destination. Upon arriving at the final destination, a price is paid for services rendered. However, if you need to go anywhere else, a new contract or itinerary must be created. But, there are no guarantees that the same vehicle/driver is equipped or available to take you to the next level – or that you can afford the cost to continue this journey to reach your destiny.

When the ride we thought was for a lifetime departs, we become stuck or stranded in one location of our lives.  That’s why it’s important to know that we can call on Jesus to catch the appropriate ride towards our Destiny.

Now the question is: are you with a Destiny Partner or on a destination ride?

So, What’s the Play Call?

Use this article as a relationship self-assessment, not as an excuse to separate or get a divorce. Get a relationship overhaul. Use one of many marriage assessments, like the Focus on the Family Marriage Assessment or The Love Dare Marriage Evaluation. These tools will help identify your relationship strengths and growth areas.

Begin rebuilding a new relationship “vehicle”, one that is unified and equipped to take your relationship to its destiny as one union.

Have periodic check-ins with each other and other Godly couples that serve as accountability partners to verify if you’re still on course with the plan God has for your relationship.

If need be, seek counseling or a marriage mentor or coach – depending on the area of help like anger management, depression, financial expertise, or sexual/intimacy.  Choose a specialist for your marriage’s specific needs in order to restore, rebuild and reconnect with God to be the best you in your relationship.


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3 years ago

Great read. Great tips and assessments for singles to make prior to courtship, engagement, or marriage as well.

3 years ago

I enjoyed this article. The destination ride happens all the time and we trick ourselves into thinking it’s destiny. These are great tips to consider. I pray women take what you said to heart before choosing their partner. And, for us married women, it’s never too late to ask God to turn a destination decision into a destiny decision.

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