May 30th, 2024

Still Mad? 5 Ways to Heal From Hurt and Bitterness Once and For All


Mmmkay, I was driving to the grocery store and as I was almost to a stoplight, a car was waiting to pull out of a McDonald’s. Now, we were in traffic and there were a lot of cars behind me, so I let the car out in front of me.

As I waited for them to wave in their rearview mirror – the universal thank you for letting me in or over sign – they never did. Nope, they sat there in front of me until the light turned green, then sped off. Was I offended? I sure was because it was as if I’d shared something with them and they didn’t say “thank you”. I caught myself though, I mean, there was no use in me driving around mad because some stranger didn’t give me a thank you wave.

Decide to Heal from Hurt and Offense

heal from hurtThis got me to thinking, I’ve been offended, hurt, and in a position where I never received apologies for some of these offenses. And, I am sure that I have been the cause of offense to others. The difference between my life situations and my driving experience is that I chose to get over that non-waving driver quickly. In life, however, I have allowed those offenses to sit so they aren’t as easy to remedy. Renouncing my pain brought about a need to heal.

I researched the definition of “heal”, and according to Webster, heal means “to make free from injury or disease and to make sound or whole”. When you are hurting, it seems you are bound by pain. That bondage keeps you chained to whatever or whoever has caused it. Though I tried during my hurting seasons to put things in the back of my mind or in that special “forget it” compartment in my heart, I was still holding onto the pain. I was bound, but at the same time desperately wanting to be free.

Healing from hurt and bitterness brings wholeness.

I also needed to be made whole. That offense had created a void where my confidence and trust used to be. I was good at covering the open wound and pretending when I was around them, but it was still there. I learned that healing takes time, faith, and trust in God.

When I think of being made whole, the woman with the issue of blood always comes to mind. She took the time to seek out Jesus, she had the faith to touch His hem, and she trusted that He would heal her infirmity. Her story is told in our Playbook in Matthew 9:20-22, Mark 5:25-34, and Luke 8:43-48. She lived with her issue for twelve years until she trusted Jesus to take care of it.

This made me consider myself and realize that I had held on to things for years before I trusted God enough to give them to Him. I didn’t treat people differently or spread gossip, but I still let it eat away at my emotions and how I felt about those people. I never showed it outwardly, but on the inside, I was suffering. It wasn’t until I chose to let God heal me (definitely a choice) that I could let those things go.

So, What’s the Play Call?

It can be a rough road to healing, but here are a few things that I hope will aid in your process:

  1. Tell the truth. No, I’m not accusing you of lying, but often, we don’t like to admit when we are hurt. There are so many reasons for this, and they vary by person. Just know that it is imperative that you are truthful about your pain, even if you’ve got to stop lying to yourself. “And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:32
  2. Let God heal you. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of the offense, especially depending on what we deem the severity to be. Truth is that Jesus is very capable of relieving us of all the feels that come with that harbored hurt. “Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.” Jeremiah 17:14
  3. God can heal you right here. So often, we feel as if we’ve got to be upset for a period of time, sit with our hurt throughout a certain season, or be in a specific place in life first. No matter what phase of pain you feel you’re in, God can take care of it here and now. “And great multitudes followed him: and he healed them there.” Matthew 19:2
  4. Be free. Once you allow God the space to heal that hurt, you can be free from that emotional “injury”. You no longer have to bear that weight. “If the Son, therefore, shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” John 8:36
  5. Be made whole. Just like the woman with the issue of blood, touch Jesus so He can touch you and give you that peace you’ve been longing for. “And he said to her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith made thee whole, go in peace.” Luke 8:48

Don’t let hurt or offense cause you to live bound by pain any longer. You can take control by giving control over to God. Be free. Be whole. Be healed.

Alecia M. White
Author, blogger, lover of coffee, and all things Jesus. By profession, Alecia is a teacher and administrator. She recently published her first book "The Thing Is...", a poignant look at suffering and endurance. She is privileged to share her love for Christ through her writing.
Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Share this post



More like this

Does the Church Leave God Out of Church Conflict?

How can the church do all things in love, including manage church conflict, church hurt, and interpersonal offense? Let's see what our Playbook says.

How Hidden Offense Can Send Your Marriage to the ER

Is offense or resentment hiding deep within your marriage? Here's why it's important to speak up and address issues before they get worse.

Foul on the Play: Is Offense Keeping You from Being a Champion?

Are you often offended by correction or sound advice? If yes, your sensitivity to offense can stunt your growth. Here are a few play calls to help.
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x