The Right of Way: A Wife’s Road to Submission in Marriage

Imagine a young, beautiful bride all dressed in white headed down the aisle, with her eyes locked in on her future husband. The attendees are sure to “ooohhh and ahhh” as she glides down the aisle in her breathtakingly, beautiful gown.

As the ceremony progresses and the bride and groom prepare to declare “I do,” everyone is filled with excitement as they witness the birth of this new union!

Then, here come the vows, and the minister proceeds to ask the bride to vow to love and OBEY.

Wait! What?! Obey???!

I’ve seen this play out at weddings a few times, where the bride becomes visibly uncomfortable vowing to “obey.” Actually, to be quite honest, the word “obey” didn’t roll off my tongue with vigor either nearly ten years ago, but…

Submission Matters

submissionI already know that some are reading and asking, “Where is she going with this?” Well, I’m going down a bumpy, dark, dirty road that not many wives like to stroll because it’s uncomfortable. Undoubtedly, the road to submission is definitely uncomfortable, but the end result is so worth it! Consider these thoughts on submission:

  1. Submission is not a popular message – it’s not hip, cool, or anything like that, BUT it’s necessary! I am not saying I have it all together or that I know everything about being submissive to your spouse. But, in the last 9 years, I’ve learned a few things along the way. Being submissive doesn’t mean you become a pushover, it means you become a partner!
  2. “He is not my Daddy!” Yes, yes dear wife, hubby is indeed not your Papa, because he actually ranks higher than your dear old Dad now – but never higher than God.
  3. Submit to God and His way, and guess what…? It won’t be soo hard to submit to your husband! **WARNING** This is a PROCESS, it will NOT happen overnight, but keep at it.
  4. If you’re so locked in on doing things your way…..please stay SINGLE!
  5. Husband’s GIVE YOUR WIFE SOMETHING TO DO! Now, I don’t mean by degrading her or giving her meaningless tasks. Work together with her on the dream/vision for your home and future, as well as the individual visions you both have! If she feels like she’s helping you build a life together, it will make a world of difference! Don’t leave her on the outside of your thoughts, dreams, goals, and desires. After all, women/wives are made and designed to help! But, my dear men, if you are not driven, goal-oriented, or if you have no idea what you want out of life – please STAY SINGLE! What is your wife supposed to help you with?! Don’t complain that she doesn’t help you if you haven’t given her anything to help with!
  6. Dear, beautiful, lovely, chosen wife – zip it! Yes, zip the lips! Now, I’m not saying don’t express your concerns, or don’t be truthful about what you feel, but NO man enjoys a nagging wife. NO MAN! Our Playbook says, “It is better to live in the desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”(Proverbs 21:19 NIV) Say what you feel, but don’t continuously nag him about situations where he already knows your feelings. I am not talking out of the side of my head – I have experienced this! Men sometimes move a little slower in decision-making than we’d like, but that doesn’t mean he’s not processing and trying to make a decision. Just wait! Shhhhhhhhhh!!!! Pray!
  7. Work together. Marriage is a joy. Be patient. Be kind. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21 NIV). Ephesians 5:21-33 is a good read for married couples that want to do it God’s way and follow the playbook.

So, what’s the play call?

Wives strive daily to be a Proverbs 31:10-31 woman! When you don’t submit in your marriage, you hurt the entire union. Your lack of submission (getting under the mission) chips away at the confidence of YOUR husband, and undermines the vision God gave him for your future! Pray earnestly for your husband, become his biggest cheerleader! When he wins, you BOTH win!!

I heard a married couple who had been married close to 50 years say this before my husband and I got married, and it has stuck with me every since: Women desire love (security) and men need respect and honor!

So, yes ladies/wives….”Put some respek (respect) on it!” Yes, RESPEK!

Much Love,
Drea

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