Father to be in Training
Men, dads, dads to be. I want to start this article out by stating that – I have messed up being a father more times than I can count.
I thought that parenting would be easy. Not easy in the way you are thinking, but in a way that I would learn and grow quickly while being a father.
I learned more about myself these past 4 years than I would like to admit. Whew, I learned how desperately I need my Savior.
Sometimes I see myself acting in ways that I always said I wouldn’t. It’s in those moments that God opens my eyes to the real issues going on inside of me.
It’s not pretty.
Neither is it fun.
I read this Scripture over and over again before I was blessed to be a dad. My perspective is different now:
“As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;” (Psalm 103:13)
Compassion – a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
A father should show sorrow for their children’s sad or depressed state. Yes, even the screaming toddler or the cursing teenager.
But. This. Is. Hard.
To sit here and think of God’s compassion towards me and trying to put that into practice for my children is like attempting to not eat good food. I love to eat.
Being a Father is a Calling from God
Not all callings from God will be easy. I haven’t had one great blessing in my life that hasn’t been difficult at times.
The point is this: I learned that I needed to put their well-being before my anger. It’s imperative that I am consistent with their training, however, that doesn’t mean that I stir up anger within them.
By raising my voice or threatening them with punishments, it just stirs up anger and resentment inside of them. This is the way to destruction, not peace.
I want to train them with compassion so that they will experience Jesus’ compassion in their lives, and hopefully, one day decide to follow Him.
I’m getting better, but it is the hardest thing I ever had to do. I love my boys and actually would love to be blessed with more!
This doesn’t mean blessings are easy, it means that God uses the blessings in our lives to mold us and make us more like Jesus who is perfect and holy.
If you are a dad, of course, you would want your son or daughter to succeed and live for Jesus. The way that we bring them to Jesus is showing them the way Jesus treats us.
Jesus treats us with overwhelming compassion.
So, What’s the Play Call?
- Know your weakness and confess it to God and your child.
- You are not alone. Compassionate parenting is hard, especially for dads. God wired us to work, play, and be rough. That means keep getting up and moving forward.
- Finally, don’t be afraid to really take advantage of the sweet moments with your kids. If you and your child are connecting well, ride that out and use it as an opportunity to grow closer!
I pray you experience God’s grace in your life today. I am here alongside you experiencing the same things, and I am so excited to share this message with you, Teammate.
Learn more about sustaining your marriage and relationship with your kids. You can listen here to me and my wife’s podcast about this topic.