May 2nd, 2024
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Resisting the Process: 5 Ways to Endure the Parts We Don’t Like

process

The Process We Hate Births Results We Love

processSo, a few weeks ago, I wanted mashed potatoes with the meal I was preparing. The thing is they had to be homemade, using real potatoes. Now, don’t roll your eyes. For the record, I have absolutely nothing against instant mashed potatoes, but I prefer homemade… “from scratch”.

Here’s the catch – I loathe peeling potatoes. Yep, I hate it. There’s just something about it that really annoys me, but how else will I get to the potato part? Exactly my point. So each time, I have to suck it up, pull out the knife, and get to peeling. And no, I don’t use a potato peeler, that’s more irritating than using a knife.

The potatoes had to be peeled, but the end result is more than worth it. This time though, my mom was in town, so I asked her to peel them. Of course, this isn’t an every time occurrence, so I took full advantage.

Can I Skip This Part, Lord?

processThe thing about peeling potatoes is that it’s the part of the process you cannot skip. In order to enjoy delicious, homemade mashed potatoes, the potatoes must be peeled. Unless you leave the skin on or you’re making potato salad, ya gotta peel them.

This is a lot like life in general. We often hate that part of the process or our journey that will make our life great! I know I do, geesh.

Sometimes, the most necessary puzzle piece to our deliverance is what annoys us the most. Of course, we would rather skip it, but we cannot go around it. Potatoes don’t peel themselves… trust me on this one. And you know what? Your process won’t go away without you going through it, either. One thing we seem to forget is that God is always “in town” for us to ask Him for help.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Your process produces progress when you agree to “grab the knife and peel”. Here are a few things to remember when you want to chuck the potato with the skin:

  1. Don’t quit in the middle. Nope, endure that process and God will rescue you. “But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.” Matthew 24:13
  2. Ask for an understanding of your process. Often, we don’t want to accept the process because we just don’t get it. I had to learn how to peel a potato before I could actually do it… enjoy it or not. Without understanding, I could peel more than just the skin or even cut myself. “Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.” Proverbs 2:3, NLT
  3. Ask for help. We were not created to bear burdens alone, so God is there to help us. Just as I asked my mom to help me peel those potatoes, we can go to our Father for assistance during our life’s trials. “Help me, O Lord my God: O save me according to thy mercy:” Psalms 109:26
  4. Submit your will to God. Sometimes, we just don’t want to deal with the circumstances that come with growing in God, but we must allow His will to be our focus. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
  5. Request a view of the big picture. When we forget that the potatoes must be peeled before mashed potatoes can be made, we forget that there is greater to come. If you just ask God to remind you of your future, He will reveal things that you never imagined possible. “Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.” Jeremiah 33:3

No matter how tedious, each stage of your process is necessary. Don’t skip one step. Try not to despise where you are. Let God help you “peel your potatoes”.

Premarital Financial Planning: 3 Money Matters to Consider Before Tying the Knot

premarital financial planning

Financial money matters to think about as you plan for your wedding day.

premarital financial planningPlanning a wedding is a very special season in a couple’s relationship – but it can also be very expensive and overwhelming. Communication and careful premarital financial planning can go a long way in helping you prepare for marriage and your financial future as a couple.

The Bible teaches us to operate from a place of wisdom and to be good stewards of all the Lord provides for us – including our finances. Leading up to a wedding there may be many unasked financial questions that could influence your big day, and your life together.

Who will pay for what? Who has debt? How will you manage your monthly budget? How will you both save for the wedding? So many questions that need extra thought.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Make the most of premarital financial planning.

Here we share just three premarital financial planning considerations to help you along the way and hopefully ensure a happy marriage with a more secure financial future.

Hot topic #1: Who will pay for what?

premarital financial planningWhen you’re independent and earning an income, it is easy to make financial decisions that do not affect anyone but yourself. However, in preparing for marriage, you may need to realize that your decisions can have a direct impact on your partner.

We may have our own ideas of how to handle finances according to how we were raised or how we have operated in the past. However, we should not assume that our future spouse thinks about money in the same way that we do. It is best to ask the important questions and learn to compromise as you come up with a financial solution that works for both of you.

How will you pay for the wedding? How will you share your monthly expenses going forward? These are some important issues that, if dealt with early, can help you avoid unwanted strain later.

Hot topic #2: The debt debate…

It’s not the most desirable topic to discuss before planning a wedding, but you will need to consider the financial way forward if you, or your future spouse, have debt that needs to be paid off.

Saving for a wedding can be a huge task. Add debt to the mix and this may become even more complicated. It is best to have the conversation early and to plan accordingly. You may even want to chat with a financial planner to help you come up with a reasonable solution to help you combat any debt.

How will you deal with debt before the wedding? What is your stance on creating debt for your wedding day, and after? These are a few of the questions you will need to talk through in order to tackle this important topic.

Hot topic #3: Big wedding… small fortune…

premarital financial planningWe would all love the wedding of our dreams, but it’s important to weigh the costs of an expensive wedding versus what you can afford as a couple. Big celebrations with all the trimmings may cost a lot of money that could leave you on a financial back foot for many months or even years after your big day.

Use wisdom to plan, budget, and pay for a wedding that you can both enjoy, without the headache of added financial pressure. If you take time to consider the costs upfront you may be able to avoid unnecessary expenses caused by indecision or poor planning.

Small sacrifices may also pay off in the long run. For instance, when planning my own wedding, we opted to sacrifice the international honeymoon for a local getaway to save on costs. Like many other young couples, we were also about to purchase a house and we needed to plan accordingly to cover everything we needed beyond the actual wedding day. We have since traveled abroad on numerous occasions, but we did so with enough time to save up for special trips.

Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it,” (Ecclesiastes 7:12).

Don’t wait around for financial issues to arise. Take the necessary steps for premarital financial planning and ask the questions early enough to help you build a better financial future together.

WAVES Navigates What It Means to Love Through Life’s Rough Waves

WAVES Movie and the Family Dynamic

waves movieSet against the vibrant landscape of South Florida, and featuring an astonishing ensemble of award-winning actors and breakouts alike, WAVES traces the epic emotional journey of a suburban African-American family — led by a well-intentioned but domineering father —as they navigate love, forgiveness, and coming together in the aftermath of a loss.

From acclaimed director Trey Edward Shults, WAVES is a heartrending story about the universal capacity for compassion and growth even in the darkest of times.

Behind the Scenes

Watch this behind the scenes clip with the cast discussing the challenges of parenthood and family.

 

WAVES NOW PLAYING IN SELECT THEATERS EVERYWHERE DECEMBER 6th!

The Real Reason a Diet Plan Will Never Help You Lose Weight, Feel Great

diet plan

The Skin We’re In

Tearfully frustrated… I remember stepping off the scale and feeling like something was wrong with me. I was bad or unworthy or maybe even a little bit messed up. As a pre-teen entering puberty, my feelings may have been hormonally charged, but regardless, I felt the weight of this very real struggle with food and body image.

Gratefully, it didn’t go far enough to turn into an obsession, and in fact, I am not sure if my weight was ever high enough to be considered overweight by medical standards.  But, as a young girl, I was uncomfortable in my own skin.  I wanted out – out of these discouraging, limiting feelings and beliefs.  I knew they weren’t right or truth.  But, I also wasn’t exactly sure what to do with them.

In my many years as a counselor, I have met so many individuals with a similar story.  The details were a bit different, but the longing for body confidence that beams from the inside out is so real.  Sadly, some can recall being put on a diet or struggling with food since childhood.  Many people can share feelings of frustration, defeat, and negative internal dialog that causes constant angst.  For some, it has turned into a lifetime battle that they can’t get out of their mind or their heart.

Lose Weight and Feel Great Diet Plans?

diet supplementsThe diet industry claims to have the answers. They wrap up these formulas, facts, research, eating plans, exercises, and specials tricks into neat and tidy packages – diet plans, books, programs, and supplements.  Our culture continues to flash us with perfectly shaped bodies and air-brushed pictures on tv, social media, ads and every other place, causing a deep discontent and inner longing to love the way we look.  

There is a $60+ BILLION dollar diet plan industry committed to telling us how we can obtain an ideal weight and “feel great”, but obviously, with two-thirds of the population overweight or obese, an increase in eating disorders, and millions of women (and men) walking around feeling uncomfortable in their own skin, these diets are not only ineffective, but I believe are contributing to the continued yo-yo dieting cycle.  

There is one thing that diets can’t address. They give us plans, how-tos, and even some creative solutions, but there is one thing that those dusty diet books on your bookshelf cannot do: They cannot change your mind.    

That incredibly difficult season as a pre-teen was the start of God doing something great in my life.  He sparked an interest in me to learn about health and nutrition.  My family actually began making some small, but meaningful changes at home, and that, along with getting taller and changing hormones, I began to see some noticeable differences in my weight and appearance.  

Slowly, I gained more confidence and a little less dislike of my body.  But the battle wasn’t entirely over.

Lay Aside Every Weight

Looking back, I see a message that God weaved all through my teenage years as I was learning to become comfortable with my body and to value it the way God intended.  

My Heavenly Father, with such tenderness and care, taught me the importance of filling up on good, truth, and life and dispelling bad, lies and the idol of perfection.  Every time my weight or appearance would begin to take over my thought life, there was less truth being poured in.  And it was those times when I would become hyper-attentive to how I looked, what I ate, and how people saw me.

Our minds are amazing and what we choose to think on determines where we go.  We can soar, shrink back or stay stuck.  

The promise God made to Joshua applies to us as well in ANY area of our lives:

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” — Joshua 1:8 (NIV)

Filling our minds with truth and then acting according to it leads to success – every single time!  So often we don’t apply this concept to weight or health. Instead, we seek out the latest diet trend or what “worked” for our friend, expecting the 6-week meal plan or how-to formula to “fix it.”  

Eat the Good

In order to take our health to the next level, or manage our weight in a way that glorifies God, it requires filling up on everything good.

Paul charges us in Philippians:

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”  — Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)

I love how the New King James Version uses the word “meditate”.  It means much more than simply thinking a good thought and implores us to meditate only on the things that are favorable, exceptional and positive.

Having counseled hundreds of individuals and knowing how my own mind works, it is so easy to allow one negative thought or critical comment, or even what was meant to be a harmless jest turn into the crazy negative dialog in our mind.  These thoughts take up valuable time each day and are no good!  They do nothing to help us take responsibility, make smart choices, see beauty or look beyond the mirror.  And, if we are not careful, they chain us up until we feel stuck in a prison of hopelessness.

BUT, that is not okay with God.  He hates to see us stuck!  In 2 Corinthians 10:5, He gives us the solution, “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Are you discouraged about your weight? If you’re disappointed with your health, lacking the energy to fully flow in your gifts, or tired of the negative body talk manipulating your daily thoughts, your only hope for sustainable change begins with YOUR mind.

It Ain’t Easy, But It’s Worth It

meal planI know, I know. We all want an easy diet plan that will get us to our goal!  Mind work takes time, attention, and getting out of all the noise around us to actually notice the talk going on in our head.  But, if a 6-week meal plan was all we really needed to get us to our goals, we wouldn’t have a health crisis in our country.  Neither would we hear complaints of fatigue and lack of energy, and we wouldn’t have body image issues.  

There is absolutely a need to make smart food, exercise, hydration, and sleep choices each day – no doubt!  But, I truly believe that pumping our heart and minds with so much truth that the lies are dispelled, is at the core of the issue.

Over many years, God in His tender loving mercy has helped me see a different perspective on dieting, healthy living, and celebrating my body – the one and only body I will ever have!  When we change our perspective, it changes everything else.  

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
– Dr. Wayne Dyer

Revelations of Healthy Living

As I began seeing diets for what they really were – false promises – I began to discover a healthy lifestyle through the lens of truth. Let’s take a look together:

  • A diet plan focuses on behaviors, but a healthy lifestyle focuses on a way of living and thinking that after time, becomes natural.
  • A diet plan focuses on good food, bad food, toxic food, and cleansing food. A healthy lifestyle wipes out the thought that our morality is attached to food choices and instead looks at how to honor God all day, every day.
  • Diets can be turned on and off. A healthy lifestyle is a sustainable way of living each day that doesn’t involve stopping, starting over, beginning again, failing or falling off the wagon.
  • Diets teach rules, but a healthy lifestyle includes boundaries and grace.
  • Diets drain us, requiring us to perform and follow a standard. A healthy lifestyle is freeing, allowing us to find strategies and tools that work with our routines, structure, and patterns.

My search for a healthy lifestyle isn’t uncommon. In fact, there are millions of people who are looking for solutions but in all the wrong places.  A diet won’t bring lasting change. It begins by filling your mind and heart with truth.  That one step changes everything.  

So, what’s the play call?

Find 2-4 scriptures that speak life and truth to where you are in your health.

Write them down and make them visible in your home, office, bathroom, kitchen and car.

Meditate on them day and night.  

“For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” (Joshua 1:8, NKJV)

Lest We Forget the Lord: Remember the Source of Your Success

lest we forget the lord

Remember When…

lest we forget the lordI recall being a child, growing up in my parent’s home, and my mother often reminding my younger brother and me of all the things that we did not buy, and with good reason.

You know, those times when my brother and I would seem ungrateful. Those times when we would leave all the lights on throughout the house, or let the water run while we played, I mean, brushed our teeth.

Often we could hear her say, “Y’all have all the lights on like you pay the bill!”

We lived the “lavish” life of having a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, meals all day, every day, and just about any and everything that we could ever ask for.

But, as children often do, we sometimes acted as if it was something we did to deserve what we had. Not necessarily in deed, but in mannerisms. There were days when we didn’t clean our rooms as we were asked and didn’t complete our chores, and even “forgot” to say thank you for all the provisions that were made for us.

It was as if we’d forgotten that all these things were given to us without our help.

The Maturity of Forgetfulness

successAs I think back, there have been numerous times, as I’ve grown older, that I “forgot” what was done for me and given to me. Times when I didn’t acknowledge that I didn’t get where I was on my own, but that someone else made it possible for me to get there.

There were even times when I treated God that way. So often, I’d get to a point while on a job or even in school, where I would rely on my own knowledge and know-how to advance myself, forgetting that I didn’t have the answers to begin with.

Unfortunately for me, I’d forgotten, essentially, where my “help came from.”

Remembering God

In our Playbook, in the book of Deuteronomy 6:10-12 (NKJV), it says,

“So it shall be, when the Lord your God brings you into the land of which He swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give you large and beautiful cities which you did not build, houses full of all good things, which you did not fill, hewn-out wells which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant–when you have eaten and are full–then beware, lest you forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.”

There’s a song that goes, “Always remember Jesus. Always remember Jesus. Always remember Jesus. Always keep Him on your mind.”

So often, we forget that it was only God who brought us to the blessings that we have and He’s the only one that can bring us through the trials that we face.

It is so easy to get sidetracked and allow ourselves to believe that we got ourselves where we are because we “worked hard,” or knew the right people.  We forget that God gave us the ingenuity and placed those people in our paths.

SO, WHAT’S THE PLAY CALL?

Our Playbook says in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.” This is for a reason. Praying is communication with God, talking and listening to God, and if you’re always praying, you can’t possibly forget who you’re talking to. Here are a few Play Calls to help you always remember that it was God who helped you:

  1. Be grateful to God and share what He has done for you. It is much easier to recall what God has done when you are in a constant state of gratitude and when you are willing to share His goodness with others. “Give thanks unto the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.” 1 Chronicles 16:8
  2. Intentionally rely on the Lord. When you make up in your mind to depend on God and not yourself, you will always remember that you cannot make it on your own. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
  3. Give God your all. When you willingly submit yourself to the Lord, you put yourself in a position to acknowledge that only He can give you what you need. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James 4:7
  4. Let go of your pride. When you admit (to yourself) that you cannot do this life alone, you give God free reign over your life. “I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.” 1 Corinthians 15:31. That being a death to self-agendas.

And “Always remember Jesus. Always keep Him on your mind.”

5 Ways to Shake the Fear of Drowning in Life’s Shallow Waters

fear

Fear is a Trip.

fearMatters not if you’re young or old, when you can’t swim, the fear of drowning will make you act a plum mess – especially in the shallowest of waters.

I remember a beach visit when I was in 3rd grade. Scared to get water in my face or ears, squinting because I had to leave my glasses back at the beach chairs – you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t drowning!  See, I’d lost my balance due to the mesmerizing motion of the waves, felt the sand disintegrating beneath my feet, and before I knew it, I had water flying everywhere, flapping my arms and yelling my head off!  Yep, like I said – a plum mess.

Imagine my embarrassment when I finally realized where I was in the water. I found my bearings and did something totally amazing – I stood up…in waist-deep water!  I was able to water-hop two feet to safety on the foamy sand and sit my crazy self down somewhere.  Even I had to laugh at myself.

But, that initial feeling of drowning?  That despair in the depths of a drowning moment?  Not a laughing matter at all.

Are You and Fear Besties?

fearSadly, Teammates, some of us know the fear of drowning all too well.  It’s scary, we feel all hope is gone.  But, you know what’s worse? Sometimes, we’re feeling this level of fear and despair in trials of life that are really just shallow waters.

I hear you. “But Kim, you don’t understand…THIS is the end of the world!”  Yes, I do understand.  Remember, I’m the little girl in 3ft of water who was actually about to drown herself AND anyone who came to help!  In my adult life, I’ve felt the hopelessness of loss…the pain is real, the fear is real, but is our reality actually true?

Here are some recommendations to keep us all from drowning in shallow water:

1. Be still and settle down.

If we can be honest, we all have moments of being a loud mouth, a jumper to conclusions, and driven by reckless emotions.  It’s hard to assess any situation when you’re up in arms, all over the place, or “in your feelings”.  Try to quiet yourself and your surroundings.  Say “no” to going-going-going; get somewhere and sit quietly in prayer and meditation.  God’s still, small voice has an answer for us, and it’s saying, “Just stand.” Ephesians 6:13

2. Tap into the strength you never knew you had.

That’s right.  Look, there aren’t mothers going around lifting cars off their children for nothing.  There is an inner strength inside you that you’ll never know you have until you call it forth!  Tap into your hysterical “Never-say-die” vs. “I’m-gonna-die!” Some trials in life come to push you towards an introduction to your supernatural strength.  It’s a strength that can become your norm, but you’ve got to recognize it and practice putting it to good use. Acts 2:21

3. Get positional clarity from the stories of others (and God).

Have you ever been in your woe-is-me moment, and turned on the news to see REAL devastation and disaster?  Right.  It’s all about perspective, how we perceive our current position.

When we ruminate in our sorrows and frustrations, we begin to believe ourselves – “No one has it as bad as me!”  Guess what, Team – things could always be worse! Look around you. Are there others in the same or worse waves and depths as you – and they’re still standing tall?  God will give you the same grace and strength. Isaiah 40:29

4. Accept honest help from others.

Sometimes the truth is – you don’t “got it”, or else you’d be OK. Have you ever tried to help someone in trouble, e.g. they’re financially strapped and you’re a financial planner, or they’re stuck in their current job and you’re a career counselor – and they want to tell YOU how to fix THEIR problem?

Team, don’t be that brother or sister.  Just as you have to stop kicking and swinging when you’re drowning in water, and relax your body so the lifeguard can save you – you have to relax your intellect, your ego, and your know-it-all to accept help from others who can actually guide you out of trouble. Proverbs 15:22

5. Measure the circumstance against your existence – does it hold water?

Ask yourself, “If this takes me under, does it take me OUT?”  Can you realistically (check #3) see yourself living past the hardship?  Maybe the waves will toss you around, but you’ll emerge a different and better person.

You will come out alive!  And if you’re alive, your purpose is still in play.  The trial may bring the end of one thing, but the beautiful beginning of something new and better.  Bottom line…keep living (see #2)! Psalms 126:5

I hope this helps someone who’s been feeling like you’re drowning.  Been there.  Sure, it’s easier said than done – but with the right mindset, determination, and help – it’s more than doable.  Jesus is cheering us through the deep waters, as well as the shallow waters we’ve made deeper than they really are.

So, What’s the Play Call?

STAND UP and see, Team – you’ve got this, and Jesus has got you!

 

3 Ways to Unmask Convenient Sacrifice Disguised as Obedience

false doctrine

Hey there, Team!

obedienceLet’s begin today’s practice with a common scene from households everywhere…

Dad: Before you can go out with your friends, clean your room and the cat’s litter box.
Teen (who despises cleaning the litter box): Ok.
Teen spends hours cleaning the room AND bathroom from top to bottom.
Teen: Ok, Dad. All done! And look! I even cleaned the bathroom. Look at the tub now! You can see your reflection in the faucets. Check behind the toilet – I got everything! Can I go now?
Dad: How’s the litter box?

Now. Insert yourself as the teen and God as the Dad. How’s your litter box task?

More often than not, the assignments God gives us are far from our first or second choice. To be honest, we’re often chosen for “growth opportunities” in which there is great discomfort, risk, frustration, rejection, and pain.

When faced with the reality of inconvenient obedience, have you ever played the “S” card – SACRIFICE?

You know, the card the children of Israel would play while their hearts turned to idols, yet they kept the rituals of burnt offerings – many times offering sacrifices God never asked for (1 Samuel 15:21).

Can you see the teenager above in us now?

Have you ever answered God’s call to GO with a sacrificial offering in the opposite direction?

The Mask of Sacrifice

Here’s the problem: God is not impressed with our sacrifices over obedience. Nor will our sacrifices distract God from His expectations for our lives.

Sure, sacrifice is a big deal. It comes with its own set of discomforts, agony, and high costs. For example, we can deplete our bank accounts, our time, and our energy to the point of exhaustion to help those in need. A noble sacrifice? Yes. But, what did God say?

For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
Hosea 6:6

When we know God and love Him with all our heart, that love compels us to comply with His commandments. We may have moments of weakness, fear, or resistance. But, our love for a Father we know and trust eventually drives us to say, “I’ll do it, I’ll go” – no matter how high the costs of inconvenience. And, just like Jonah and Elijah, God will graciously provide what we need to see a task through to the end.

Beneath the Surface of Sacrifice

So, how do we know when we’re opting for convenient sacrifice versus complete obedience to God’s voice? Here’s how to unmask sacrifice and identify areas for greater submission to God, when:

1. Our response to God is more complex than, “Yes.”

Whenever God gives you an assignment – and reasons, excuses, and justifications ring louder in your heart than a simple, “Yes, Lord”, this opens the door to place sacrifice above obedience.

Resistance is complex and shrewd.  Obedience and truth is simple. Resistance begins a full-blown analysis of the assignment and searches for every hidden Excuse Exit. And, if that doesn’t work, it devises a Plan B – Z to cover all bases – including a deflection of “good” deeds proudly sacrificed unto the Lord.

Love gives a naked, transparent yes. Everything else…

2. Our sacrifices become our identity.

Who are you outside of your sacrifices and good deeds? How long will we feast on the good deeds of the past? Sure, you greatly sacrificed ______, but do you love your neighbor?

As we nurture a steadfast love for God, reliance on our resume of good works done “in the name of Jesus” will diminish. Let your heart’s desire strive to be known by your love for God and your neighbor.

3. The assignment God gave is started, but incomplete (or never started).

Is there an unfinished or yet-to-start call on your life? Did sacrificing or giving up things and people sidetrack you from actually doing what God told you to do a long time ago?

There are times when our hearts mean well, but we have to yield to God’s meaning and context of a “well” heart.  Even when it comes to sacrifices of praise – if our hearts are far from loving and knowing the God we praise with our lips – we praise in vain (Matthew 15:8).

We must not let the business of sacrifice distract us from pursuing God’s business.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Say “yes” to God’s will, and train yourself to do it early! Don’t leave your litter box task undone.

Avoid getting sidetracked with perceived “good” that’s actually bad for you. Anything, within or without, that hinders your love and knowledge of God – let it go.

As we love and know God through acts of obedience to His will, we will never have to worry about God knowing us (Matthew 7:21-23).

 

Why Your Dinner Table Is One of the Most Sacred Places in Your Home

family dinner

Family Dinner First

In the very beginning, Genesis 1, God created the family unit. He created male and female and called them to be fruitful and multiply. Then, He gave them dominion over all the earth. Because man was made in the image of God, He called them to reproduce Himself, His very image in the world.  Then, He charged them to rule and reign over all that He had created.

As parents, we are called to live fruitful lives and help our children unearth fruitfulness in their own lives.  This is quite the calling!  But in a society driven by productivity, achievement, and recognition, it is easy to get caught up in a fast-paced life of good stuff and neglect some of the traditions that help families actually live out this call.

Family dinner is a time to re-ignite family time around the dinner table. Dozens of events and activities threaten to interrupt this precious time each week, but it’s never too late to reassess and recommit. The family dinner is a tradition that sadly, has been pushed lower on the priority list in favor of extracurricular activities that our kids “need” to get ahead and excel. Of course, adults have their own set of “priorities” that fill up their evening schedules too.  

The family dinner has lost its value.  It has become unimportant to many and research shows that only 30% of families actually eat a family meal together each night.  

Of course, work schedules and family dynamics occasionally prohibit the family from gathering around the table, but what if this old family tradition was re-ignited, reinvented, rediscovered?  

Your family dinner table may be nothing fancy.  It has probably had milk spilled upon it dozens of times.  It may have stains and permanent marker drawings from your toddler. That worn piece of wood may be chipped and nicked and have a puddle of superglue from your 6th grader’s science project. But, research is showing that this space is also the place where you will find some surprising and powerful benefits to preserve and empower the family unit.

Here is what family dinner time can do for you…

Fend off risky behavior among adolescents

Smart choices – that’s what we want our kids to make, especially in high-pressure, social situations.  Research out of Columbia University shows that family meals are one positive tool helping parents keep open lines of communication with their child and promote smarter choices among teens.  Kids who engage in more than 3 family meals per week are less likely to engage in smoking, alcohol or drug use.  The research also shows that they are less likely to have friends who participate in these behaviors.  

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” 1 Corinthians 15:33

At the dinner table, parents have a prime opportunity to influence and assess other influential people in their kids’ lives.  

Promotes family connection

It’s probably no surprise that sitting down for family meals fosters emotional connection and stronger families.  Research shows that sitting down together as a family to eat, talk, and share enhances emotional well-being and reduces depression.  It is also encouraging to note that the higher the frequency of family meals, the higher the sense of connection among all family members.  

Relationship.  It’s what God is so eager to have with each of us.  He loves to foster that intimacy in our relationship with Him and as His image-bearers, we are to joyously create that intimate connection with our family members.  It’s our opportunity to speak love, in action and words, to those closest to us.

Improves academic performance among adolescents

Encouraging a life-long love of learning, inquisition, and exploration is one trait that most parents hope to instill their kids.  But sometimes, identifying those motivating factors is not only tricky but seems impossible.  

According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, your teen is twice as likely to get A’s in school if your family is eating dinner together 5-7 times per week!

Interestingly, some additional research shows that kids who participate in family dinner have higher grade point averages and a commitment to learning.  Once again, this research doesn’t tell us exactly why eating at the dinner table promotes better grades, but as a parent, it is one of the few times that you have your kids’ undivided attention.  

Reading is not the only way to boost your kids’ vocabulary.  Conversation around the dinner table builds language skills in toddlers.  It’s a relief to know that you don’t have to be a Jeopardy scholar to help your kids develop a large word bank.

The family dinner – what’s a better time to speak words of life into their soul?  Adults can encourage giftings they see in their children and ask them about personal interests, hopes, and dreams.

Promotes healthier weight and BMI for kids and adults

Food choices, eating patterns and exercise behaviors are strongly related to the weight and health of Americans.  But, there is definitely more to this complex issue. Research shows that “Eating in the kitchen or at the dining room table and remaining at the table until everyone is finished eating were both associated with lower BMIs for parents and children.”

Sitting down at the kitchen table with the people you love most in the world could actually promote a healthier weight.  While the research is only a correlation and does not show cause and effect, it is safe to assume that eating together in a positive environment has some significant benefits.  This mealtime ritual has no financial costs, and in fact, might save the family money, when considering the cost of eating outside the home.  

In addition, this study found that at least 3 family meals per week can dramatically affect the health of your child.  Quality time eating around the dinner table reduces the odds of the following among kids:

  • Overweight by 12%
  • Eating unhealthy foods by 20%
  • Disordered eating by 35%

It also increases the chances of kids making healthy food choices by 24%.

So, what’s the play call?

Your dinner table is one place that has the ability to promote connection and emotional, physical, and mental health among your family members.  The actual health and well-being of your family are not only related to what you eat but the special moments of investment that occur on a regular basis.  Protect this gathering time.  If you don’t know where to begin, start by adding 1 family meal per week.  Make this a fun, family event with laughter, good food, and caring conversation.  

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. John 15:16a (NIV)

So, what’s for dinner?!

When Love Grows Cold, Is Your Marriage Covered?

marriage

marriageHere in Georgia, we often experience 3 seasons within one day. You can wake to a comfortable spring morning then transition into the summer heat. At night, you’ll feel the crisp air of winter.

If you’re from the “old school”, you were taught to layer up and wear a t-shirt from fall until summer to guard yourself against seasonal changes. For me and my house, the most important foundational garment is the thermal. It’s what we lay closest to our body as the first layer of defense against changes in the weather. Plus, we take a double dose of vitamin C every day to strengthen our immune system against germs.

Coach Jesus tells us that in the last days, the love of many people will grow cold (Matthew 24:12). Coverings are important. Just as we cover our physical bodies, the body of “two who have become one” (Ephesians 5:31) needs covering as well.

3 Ways to Cover Your Marriage

1. Choose a set of prayer thermals.

Warfare prayers will protect every aspect of your relationship no matter the temperature of the outside world.

Thermals keep you cool when situations get heated and keep you warm during freezing times.  Likewise, prayer covers your relationship in God’s Word and His promises and keeps forces that will come against your relationship defeated.

It’s important to choose the appropriate prayer thermal for your life. Choose prayers that will allow the Holy Spirit to work freely in your marriage, not quench or restrict the move of God.

The prayer of faith will hold up under anything the world tries to pile on you. Prayer will also keep you from piling on too many societal beliefs that are contrary to the will of God. Consider prayer as the shield that protects the covenant between you and your spouse.

No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).

2. Know that seasons change.

Be proactive, knowing that the good and the bad are part of the relationship.

Have your heart open to give and receive unconditional love – and not just when it’s good and easy to be married. Clothe yourself in the entire wardrobe of a Christian soldier, the full armor of God, in order to prevent a fatal wound from the one who is closest to you.

There will be things that cause hurt to each other in a relationship, intentionally or unintentionally, because a relationship brings together two imperfect people. However, if you and your spouse are aware that neither of you is perfect, then the imperfect moments will not kill the relationship during the winter seasons.

Have a thermostat (Spirit of discernment) that allows you to sense when the seasons are changing within your marriage.

For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

3. Administer a Daily Dose of Vitamin C(hrist).

Digest your vitamin C, Jesus Christ, His word and His instructions before you begin anything for the day.  If this is your first step, everything that is done within your relationship will be done from a Christ perspective – not a selfish perspective.

If we skip our dose of Jesus, our bodies become more susceptible to the flesh. And, the world will begin to dictate the ways we work within our relationships.

Take a double dose of Christ! Ensure that whatever we must digest throughout the day does not counter-attack the God that is within our marriage.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need (Matthew 6:33).

So, What’s the Play Call?

Lay out your morning thermals – speak God’s word in prayer – and prepare your night thermals to end your day with God’s protection during rest.

Know which season your relationship is in to cover it appropriately. Try this free quiz to identify whether your marriage is in summer, spring, winter, or fall.

Keep an abundant reservoir of Vitamin Christ in your relationship to never be deficient or lose sight of the Christian way to love.

Mary Jane, Weed, Pot: Is Marijuana a Sin or Accepted by God?

is marijuana a sin

Is Marijuana a Sin?

is marijuana a sinSomething I find amusing is that, despite my reputation for being “passionate” about God, people frequently ask my stance on trending topics. I’m sure they know my belief, but I guess they are intrigued by my point of view. Nonetheless, I have come to understand that despite people appearing to reject the truth, some are what I call modern-day Nicodemuses (John 3:1). They learn from Jesus by night to avoid being spotted publicly.

Anyhow, I had someone request my opinion regarding marijuana. If I base my answer on my opinion, I specify it like Paul, who said, “I speak as a man.” Even so, my conclusion centers on the Word of God. What I find interesting is that while we are no longer under the law, people still look for righteousness to appear as the ten commandments. They need to see “thou shalt not smoke reefer” to believe that it is wrong.

The laws of this country have affected the judgment of many teammates. For the record, just because it’s legal with man does not mean God authorizes it. And, there are more than ten commandments in the Bible.

Marijuana has several names: cannabis, Mary Jane, weed, twenty-twen, cush, trees, the goods, reefer, pot, ganja, and many others. Marijuana is a subject that is disputed among believers. But, based upon my examination of the Scriptures, at this time, I am unable to come to a concrete yay or nay concerning marijuana in its totality. But, there are some things I want to bring to your attention and consideration.

Drunkenness

is marijuana a sinPreviously, I wrote an article about gluttony and how the term references general greed, not only overeating. Similarly, drunkenness, defined as intoxication, is not only about alcohol. Ephesians 5:18 says, “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit;” The “with” in this Scripture indicates that a person can be intoxicated with anything. Even more, the Scripture gives a clear understanding that if we, believers, are to be “filled,” with anything, let it be with the Spirit of God.

Additionally, throughout the Scriptures, there is a command unto believers to be “sober.” Understanding this lets me know that being under the influence of any substance with the intent of intoxication is indeed a sin.

Medicinal Purposes

is marijuana a sinNow, I understand that some people take cannabis as medicine. Yes, God created it, and the Bible says that the leaves of plants can be used as medicine (Ezekiel 47:12). But, getting high was not the permitted use of the leaves. But, If someone was to find themselves high, without intending to, because of medication, it is not a sin.

We know that other medications have an intoxicating effect, like narcotics, but due to its natural origin, cannabis seems to evoke a more extensive debate. But let’s be real about the matter – everyone with a prescription does not have an ailment. Some people are lying so that they have the legal right to use. (People have told me this is what they do.) So, despite their prescription, they truly are in the group of those who seek intoxication, which is a sin.

God Above Cannabis

One thing I want to point out is this. Today, people are promoting sicknesses, mental illness, and weaknesses at a very high rate. Yet, there are not enough people endorsing the fact that our God is a healer and deliverer, who has the power and authority to set anyone free who is bound. Am I telling you not to see a physician? No. I am encouraging anyone who is suffering from any sickness, whether it be in mind or body, to seek the Great Doctor, Jesus.

Honestly, do you think people have the same persistence to obtain prescriptions as they do about receiving healing from God? Think about it. Many encourage others to embrace mental illnesses, all while the Bible says that God has given us a “sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Should the people of the Almighty God come in agreement with the pronouncements of the enemy or flesh? Where is the “woman with the issue of blood” faith? Someone who will not settle for being plagued with illness or addiction to painkillers, and press their way toward Jesus?

Understand, utilizing marijuana recreationally versus medically may be rooted in two different motives. Nonetheless, they both have the same solution, that is Jesus.

SO, WHAT’S THE PLAY CALL?

Teammate, sobriety is a way of life for Christians, even more so for leaders (1Timothy 3:2). What I am about to say may be a little too much for some, but intoxication can sometimes cause your senses to open spiritually. Don’t think it strange that another name for wine is spirits. Or, that some medicines fall into the classification of hallucinogens. Some things are not a coincidence; they have hidden meanings.

Before salvation, I knew this to be true. As a young and rebellious teenager, when I smoked weed, I experienced things that I now know as a prophetess to be spiritual realms. Having access to spiritual realms can be very dangerous. One example of this is people who are found to be under the influence of drugs that commit heinous crimes.

I understand that God created cannabis. But when evaluating whether God approves of something, we not only have to consider whether it was created but also the purpose of the creation. When we violate the intended use of His creation, we pervert it. For example, marriage was created by God for a man and woman, but when people pervert marriage, applying it to unions other than man and woman, it then loses its godly approval.

If you are using marijuana to get high, repent, and turn from it. I pray that whatever void you need to be filled will be filled by God. If you are taking it for medication, I pray that God heals you so that you do not have to live dependent on any drug. Last, always remember to take heed to the conviction of the Spirit. God is never wrong.

I love you all.

 

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