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Have You Reached Your Max Heart Rate for God?

max heart rate

Many endurance athletes measure their level of effort during workouts or competitions by monitoring their maximum heart rate. They identify their “max HR” by using a specific testing method either in the lab or real-life settings such as a track. Then, based on that number, they can review future performances in the context of that maximum effort data.

While the specific interpretation of the data varies based on the coach, the sport, and the athlete, it can be quite beneficial in determining the actual effort the athlete puts forth.

What’s Your Spiritual Max Heart Rate?

max heart rateRecently when I was reading Colossians 3:23, I thought about a heart rate monitor. What if I were to wear a heart rate monitor on a daily basis, but instead of it measuring my heart rate during a workout, it measured my “Heart” (with a capital H) – the effort I put forth as a representative of Jesus Christ in every activity?

As athletes, we’re extremely good at pushing ourselves for the sake of a race or a workout. We can dig deep, push aside our body’s desire to stop the pain, and bring home a top-level performance in the face of great odds.

But, if we really read Colossians 3:23, we see that Paul didn’t say, “When you’re working out or racing, work at it with all your heart.” Nope. That would be easy for us, wouldn’t it? Instead, he said WHATEVER we do we must work at it with all our heart.

Ouch.

That means when I’m participating in a meeting at work, taking out the trash, washing dishes at home, returning an email, or… you get the idea. In WHATEVER I’m doing, I’m called by my ultimate Coach to work at it with all my heart to my maximum heart rate. Doing so will bring glory to God and help me develop a closer relationship with Him as I lean on Him for strength, guidance, and power.

So, What’s The Play Call?

Today, examine your heart as you move through your daily activities and find out what areas of your life are not being done wholeheartedly for the Lord. Ask Him to help you change and to view each task as a way of bringing Him glory. Then, with His strength, put your all into whatever you do and shoot for your own maximum heart rate.

Think about it:

  1. How does my max heart rate for my earthly pursuits compare to my max heart rate for God?
  2. In what ways does working wholeheartedly for the Lord bring Him glory? How does it help me grow spiritually?
  3. In what areas am I not working for Him with my whole heart?
  4. What are some tangible reminders that can help me raise my max spiritual heart rate in daily life?

3 Factors of Church Growth That Are Dangerous and Spiritually Wicked

US Religion Census

Evaluate Your Church Growth

church growthIs your local assembly experiencing exponential church growth with new faces joining every week?

Great.

Now, what are we doing to “make disciples” (Matthew 28:19) – train our new brothers and sisters on how to take up their cross, and follow Jesus (Matthew 16:24)?

Hmm. Not a popular selling point?

While quantity over discipleship will never be an indicator of true growth in the Kingdom of God, for the ‘local church’, many lean to their roll books and mega-programs as a sign of “we must be doing something right.”

Pastors, leaders, teammates – this is where we can fall short.

God is not concerned with the crowd size of our local assemblies – but how well we conform to His Word, mature in the unity of our faith, and increase our knowledge of the fullness of Jesus Christ (Ephesians 4:13). As a matter of fact, God is well aware that the numbers are reflective of the many tares in our churches that He will separate at the appointed time (Matthew 13:30).

Think about this:

  • When should we be concerned about the numbers?
  • All church growth isn’t bad – but is all church growth good?
  • When church growth is evident, do we ever evaluate the “what, how, why” of the draw or popularity?

Tares Gone Wild

church growthWe are living in the last days, teammates. And as such, we are given signs in our playbook that mark this time of peril (2 Timothy 3). Unfortunately, the local church is not immune to these signs. As a matter of fact, whenever and wherever imperfect humans gather, you will have imperfections, drama, and trouble.

When these signs creep into our churches, often the result is NOT a declination in church attendance or a massive church exodus. On the contrary, we are seeing more and more of our local churches – not becoming houses of prayer – but becoming large gatherings of “like-minded individuals.”

Have you noticed an uptick in “spiritual gatherings” that infuse Bible teaching with witchcraft? How many congregations are drifting from the simplicity of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and ‘winning souls’ through gimmicks, signs, and wonders?

Because our natural response to an itch is to want it scratched (2 Timothy 4:3), the masses will always seek solace in local assemblies that try to conform the Word of God to their lifestyle.

Take a look at the following forms of perverted church growth; take note as to why the masses would possibly come from near and far.

Factors of Church Growth For the Great Falling Away

1. Self-Love is My Religion.

Yes, God wants us to have a healthy dose of self-love (Romans 12:3). Be aware, Team – a perverted emphasis on self-love, e.g., self-greatness, your “divine self”, your “inner goddess/god”, “me and mine” positions you as an idol competing against God (2 Timothy 3:2). It is also counterproductive to our pursuit of unity in the body – where no one member thinks that he or she is more important than another (Romans 12:5). This mix of new age promotion of “Self over everything and everybody” is a trick of the enemy and leaves no room to need a Savior – since we’re too busy being the “god” of ourselves.

2. Paper-Chasing Churches.

Yes, God gives us the power to gain wealth for covenant purposes (Deuteronomy 8:18), and it takes financial resources to do ministry on many scales. However, is every service and sermon geared towards the proclamation of “money coming“, or teaching that only true Christians are financially rich (1 Timothy 6:5)? Do people flock to your church to be the next lottery winner from God? Woe to you, church leaders, who prey on the desperation of the unfortunate – those who often give their very last in search of God’s blessed gifts.

3. Team ‘Do Whatever Makes YOU Happy.’ 

How many of you have heard the testimonies, “I was never truly happy until I became my authentic self.” “So, do what makes you happy; don’t let anyone keep you from happiness.” Often, that “anyone” includes God! You have to admit, being “happy” is a great draw and selling point, and self-denial in today’s society is so passé, yes?

In Ezekiel 13:22 NLT, God speaks against the prophets of Israel for falsely “…encouraging the wicked by promising them life, even though they continue in their sins.”

Sin-affirming and sin-ignoring churches are growing by leaps and bounds – no deep explanation needed. Woe to you pastors and leaders who are committing fornication and adultery with women (and men) in your congregations! Woe to you pastors and church leaders who violate children, the least of these, and rob them of their innocence in the name of obedience to ‘God’s servant’! Woe to you LGBTQ-approving churches who have mastered the art of acceptance without the call to repentance!

While God wants us to prosper and be in good health, there are so many things that make us “happy” that would destroy our souls (3 John 1:2). God desires that we be Holy, above being happy, and find unspeakable joy and peace through Jesus Christ.

So, What’s the Play Call?

For pastors and church leaders: Grow your churches right by rightly dividing the Word of Truth. Practice living the truth, allow God to purge you as you speak the Word of truth over God’s flock.

New, current, and future teammates: There are loving, gospel-centered local churches out there just for you. Pray that God will direct your path – not to the non-existent “perfect church” – but to the church that is perfect to perfect your walk with Christ.

Don’t be discouraged by church drama and confusion – the local assembly is a target of the enemy, but he is already destroyed by the blood of Jesus Christ, and he will be crushed under the feet of God’s children (1 John 3:8, Romans 16:20).

 

The Fear of Being Alone: Honoring Purpose Over Marital Status

fear of being alone

One of my female cousins got married a couple of years ago, but before the wedding, we decided to take her on a trip to Miami to celebrate. While on the trip we had a lot of activities planned, but one of the activities on our last morning in Miami didn’t have a particular name or anything, but what we had to do was write down 3 of our “fears” on a piece of paper. Once everyone finished, we shared the 3 fears with the group.

The exercise was so powerful and so liberating! There were laughs, tears, stories, moments of silence, and reflections while we listened to each woman reveal a part of herself that she may have only mentioned to God in private.

As I was listening, I knew my turn was approaching, and for me, this was not easy because I didn’t want to be emotional. *Exhale* Here it goes….

So I slowly move my eyes down to read my 3 fears. One of the fears I will share with you that meant the most was “the fear of dying alone”. Another young woman there, who was single like me, agreed totally and said, “Wow…I didn’t think about that but it’s so true. I don’t want to die alone either.”

The best part of this activity was what we did next. We tore each fear into three strips of paper, folded them in no particular way, and then put them inside of a balloon. We each held our balloons up high over the balcony of the hotel. I was asked to say a prayer and we released them in the air, vowing to God to work on overcoming every fear.

It took a lot of courage for me to admit to being afraid, scared, or anxious about anything in my life to these women. However, on that day, four women’s desire to overcome fear was greater than the fear itself.

The Fear of Being Alone in Perspective

fear of being aloneLet’s talk about what I meant when I said: “alone.” I’m talking about physically being by myself when I die. No one knows when or how he or she is going to die. The absence of family being there, or even a husband, was starting to be a concern me. If we’re honest with ourselves, most people desire to be loved by someone beyond the circle of family.

As Christians, we realize that we are never alone because God is with us always, in spirit. But physically, we want the return embrace of a mate God assigned to us. Even the Bible says, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring to have someone in your life, but if you don’t experience marriage on earth, does that mean that you are being denied the fullness of joy? Not at all. However, let’s put it in perspective.

We all came into the world as individuals, even if you were born a twin. And, we all are going to leave individually and be judged individually by God for our work. (Revelation 20:12).

Our concerns about being single can be consuming and a huge distraction. Being alone can have negative connotations if we accept them from people who plant seeds of “fear” in our minds.

Reject Seeds of Fear

marriageSome will say, “You need to find someone so you won’t end up like so and so who is alone.” But, God never promised us that life will follow the order of marriage, children, grandbabies, then death. He knew us before the foundation of the world and the beginning of our existence before entering the earth. God even knows the number of hairs on our head (Matthew 10:30), so surely He knows what is best.

God wants to fulfill the purpose He has ordained for each and every one of us – whether we are married or single. So If I die now, what would it matter if I was by myself? Why should fear be the first response to thoughts of dying alone? To God, it’s not important. But, my relationship with Him, my work on earth to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the unique gifts He has created within me – that is what’s important.

The focus on my marital status has no relevance to my ability to fulfill my assignment on the earth, just as my status doesn’t determine my joy. What I do on earth, regardless of my status, is God’s purpose and desire for my life.

So, What’s The Play Call?

Bye, Fear! I am not alone! Here are 3 great reminders:

  1. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” ~Joshua 1:9 NIV
  2. The one who sent me is with me; He has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases Him.” ~John 8:29 NIV
  3. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20 NLT

Will the COVID-19 Pandemic Lead to the Next Great Awakening in America?

great awakening

As the Coronavirus (COVID-19) sweeps across our country, confining us to another month at home, some have asked me, “Are we on the verge of a spiritual awakening?”

There are some hopeful signs.

In many ways, we now are doing the very things we should have been doing all along: Spending time with our families, sharing meals, talking to our neighbors, helping one another and taking long walks outside (while maintaining social distancing of course).

And there are other hopeful trends. For example, some distilleries are stepping in and producing hand sanitizer instead of booze. It reminds me of the verse that says, “They will beat their swords into plowshares” (Isaiah 2:4). But instead, it appears we are turning our scotch into sanitizer and our piña coladas into Purell!

I also have heard good news on several fronts: fewer abortions are being performed, and crime rates in some parts of the country have plummeted since the stay-at-home orders were issued.

These are all good things, but then there is the unthinkable tragedy of people dying every day from COVID-19. It is this very thing, the fear of death, the acknowledgment of the fragility of life, that has been a wake-up call for many.

In some ways, the COVID-19 pandemic has forced people to consider the afterlife and their relationship with God by knocking down all our false gods.

For people that worshipped sports, the stadiums are closed and no games are being played.

For others who idolized musicians, the civic centers are closed and the concerts are canceled.

For those that had such fawning admiration for actors, the theaters are shuttered and no new films are coming.

For even others who bowed at the altar of money, the stock market is generally down and …

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When All Else Fails: Don’t Make it Happen, Try This!

make it happen

I went to the mall one Tuesday for one of those free Apple tutorial classes at the Apple stores. As I was leaving, I’d stopped in a couple of other stores before deciding it was time to head home. The exit I chose was one with the automatic glass doors, the same ones I’d entered through. I’d walked through the first set with no problem. The second set, however, did not cooperate.

Again, I walked toward the doors and they didn’t do the Red Sea parting thing the way they were supposed to. So, I stood there for a second, then I backed up thinking maybe I’d gotten too close, too fast. Okay, that didn’t work, so I tried walking closer, this time more slowly. Still nothing.

I could have tried forcing it open, but knowing me, I would have broken the door, hurt myself, or triggered an alarm. I’m sure of it, so I didn’t dare try. After about 5 or 6 failed attempts to exit the mall (I guess they wanted me to stay awhile and spend more money), I looked up.

Yep, I looked straight up into the door sensor. And, you know what? It opened!

Now, had I just looked up from the beginning, I would’ve been headed to my car about seven minutes sooner.

God Will Make it Happen For Your Good

fearRight now, I’m sure you’re ready for me to go ahead and make my point. Okay, there have been times in my life that I have tried walking through doors that would not open when and how I thought they should. And for good reason – I was going about it all wrong. I was trying to walk through those doors on my own.

Some doors I ran to and others I thought to try the slow-moving approach. And when they didn’t open, I backed myself up and tried again. It took me a while to catch on to some things. For example…

Without God, doors will not open. Not the right doors, anyway. There’s always the matter of trying to force the door to open, make it happen, but that only caused situations in my life to turn out worse. Just like the outcome of trying to force a physical door open, I broke some things, I got hurt, and even triggered some alarms.

None of those outcomes was worth it. I’ve found that it is only when I choose to look up to God that my doors will open – at the right time, and without the drama (Proverbs 10:22).

You will find the same thing, that your doors will open at the appointed time when you look to God.

So, What’s the Play Call?

I know it seems like a waste of time to just stand at the door without bursting or gliding through it. But, that’s when we try to make it happen using our own strength, resources, and know-how. The absolute truth is that those are the times when we need to trust God the most.

Here are some things to remember when the “automatic door” isn’t so automatic for you:

  1. Look up. It’s that simple. So often, we are so preoccupied with what is in front of us that we never take the time to look to God for His solution. “And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh.” Luke 21:28
  2. Wait on God. This one can get tricky when you’re standing right in front of the door that you believe is open for you at that moment. I admonish you to trust that God’s timing is perfect and He will strengthen you as you wait. “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalms 27:14
  3. Ask God to direct your steps. When God is in control of how and where you walk, He has free reign to lead you to the doors that have been designed especially for you. “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way.” Psalms 37:23
  4. Remember, no matter what you have thought up for yourself, God’s plans are greater. I know this may be difficult when the opportunity seems to be right in front of you, but God’s thoughts are always better than ours. “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” Ephesians 3:20

Waiting on that one door to open can be excruciating, especially when you feel you have other places to be. I encourage you, though, not to keep trying on your own to make it happen.

The next time your door seems to be stuck, look up to God! He has a master plan for you.

 

Mexico’s Persecuted Protestants Lack Simple Coronavirus Defense

religious freedom
Photo via CSW.org

As COVID-19 spreads, dozens of Protestant converts are still denied access to clean water in Catholic-controlled villages in four states.

While many people around the world are reaching for soap, water, and antibacterial hand gel to prevent the transmission of the new coronavirus, Angelina does not have that luxury.

Her family and a neighboring family had their access to water and sewage services cut off by local authorities in January 2019. Fifteen months later, they still have no access.

All in an attempt to force them to renounce their Protestant faith.

As of April 2, Mexico had reported more than 1,500 cases of COVID-19, with 50 confirmed deaths. Just three days prior, the government announced a national health emergency, suspending non-essential activities, banning gatherings of over 50 people, and encouraging the population to “stay at home for as much time as possible.”

Angelina, 50, with her three adult children, lives in the central state of Hidalgo, which reports 26 confirmed cases, 3 deaths, and a further 65 suspected cases. With this number all but certain to climb in the coming days, her family and others like them lack access to one of the first lines of defense against this invisible threat.

Article 4 of the Mexican constitution states: “Everyone has the right to access, disposal, and treatment of water for personal and household consumption in sufficient measure, safely, acceptably, and affordably.” However, this right is not enjoyed by all people. Nor is the right to freedom of religion or belief.

Mexico is currently on a monitoring list for the US Commission on International Religious Freedom (USCIRF), having previously been considered a Tier 2 country. Moderate and severe violations of religious freedom remain common, particularly in the states of Hidalgo, Chiapas, Oaxaca, and Guerrero. [Editor’s note: From 2015 to …

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Women: Don’t Bury Your Gift of Leadership

women

In her new book, I Am a Leader: When Women Discover the Joy of Their Calling, Angie Ward shares her own struggle of questioning whether her leadership bent was a gift or a fatal feminine flaw.

It is a familiar tension women face when they do not feel affirmed or encouraged by those in authority in their system. They end up either questioning their gift and their calling or questioning the system and the perspective of those in authority.

For a while, Ward tried to not take charge and even prayed to be more meek and gentle. After a long season of prayer and anguish, she realized that the problem was not that she was a leader or a woman, but that she was denying who God had created her to be. Leadership is an essential part of her calling. She sees herself not as a woman who happens to have a leadership role but a leader who happens to be a woman. Vowing not to bury her gifts and her calling again, Ward wrote words in her journal that became the title and subject of this book: “I AM A LEADER.”

A Lifelong Journey

There are plenty of books that deal with theological views of the roles of women in congregational ministry. (Examples include Two Views of Women in Ministry from Zondervan’s Counterpoints series and Women in Ministry: Four Views, published by IVP Academic.) I Am a Leader, however, does not tackle this particular issue. Instead, the purpose of Ward’s book is to help women see themselves as leaders and live out their callings regardless of their theological positions or cultural contexts.

Ward recognizes that some women may sense individual callings or hold perspectives on women in leadership that clash with prevailing views inside their organizations. For women in these situations, she lays out the options …

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Bad News Can’t Thrive in Courageous Prayers

prayers

Your fiancé confesses to you that he or she no longer wants to marry you, and has found love with another person after your 10-year relationship.

You have been laid off from your job of twenty-three years as a result of the company going bankrupt.

Your home has been burglarized causing thousands of dollars in damage, and your homeowner’s insurance lapsed a week prior.

Your only sibling has Lupus and has recently tested positive for COVID-19.

These are all quite challenging circumstances, aren’t they?

When Bad News Strikes

Devastatingly bad news can take our breath away and leave us feeling numb inside. Times like these seem to knock us to our knees or send us running through an empty field of despair and brokenness. It’s a helpless feeling when the world we know and love collapses around us like hail falling from the sky.

That recognizable feeling ripping through our souls is none other than fear itself. It pulls at the core of our soul and digs down into our spirit; it threatens to take away our faith. When we are filled with fear versus faith, our emotions tend to find delight in doing the “Tango of Danger” with our heart and soul. This dance leads us straight to the breeding ground of anger, guilt, shame, and helplessness.

Truth be told, bad news is inevitable and everyone will experience it at some point. So… 

How Does One Cope With Bad News? 

prayersPause for a moment and ask God for strength and guidance. In the passage of Nehemiah 1:1-11, the Bible tells us that Nehemiah receives the bad news that his hometown of Jerusalem is in ruin – the wall of Jerusalem torn down, the gates of the city destroyed by fire. God gave Nehemiah a difficult assignment. He was tasked with gathering the Jews who had returned to Judah after the exile to Babylon, resurrect and rebuild His city, and bring back the people of God to the Word of God.

Think about how Nehemiah may have felt when God told him what He wanted him to accomplish. Perhaps he felt nervous, uncertain, or even depressed. These are the same feelings that we might feel when nothing is certain and clear.

However, God wants us to be like Nehemiah and receive the message, breathe, and pray for God to help bring us through our sad or painful times.

Bad News Requires Courageous Prayers

God often looks to us to be a vessel to pour His message into others, rebuild broken situations, and trust Him and the overall plan He has for us. 

Because God is a miracle worker, we should not be afraid to pray courageously. When Nehemiah found himself facing the king, he did not hide his sadness or pretend to be okay. Instead, he was transparent and vulnerable. Nehemiah had faith and knew that no matter the circumstance, God had already paved the way in his favor.

Nehemiah asked God to give him favor in the eyes of the king as he shared his distress. When he made his courageous request to be relieved of his duties to go and rebuild Jerusalem, he stepped out on faith and trusted God. He made a dangerously courageous request to the king, and God had already affirmed Nehemiah’s petition.

Courageous Prayers in Uncertain Times

Let’s consider the news surrounding the ever-changing coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, the president, our local and national officials, social media, and every news channel. There are enough different messages out here to make our heads spin. 

Now, let’s think about God and His everlasting Word. The Bible shows us repeatedly how faithful, consistent, and miraculous our God is. God has every answer we need – not only in bad times but in good times as well. The only request He has for us is to pray, talk to Him. Courageously, we must know that His healing power is greater than any plague or pestilence this world may experience.

Sometimes, we neglect simple prayers. 

Most times, we neglect courageous prayers.

At all times, we must pray because it is essential for our survival and, most importantly, God is standing by to hear from us. When we pray, it pleases God beyond measure. He tells us, “I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27).

So, what’s the play call?

Think about your challenging circumstances. Breathe. Now humbly and courageously pray to God about it. It does not matter what your circumstances are – the restoration of a relationship, employment, deliverance, finances, healing, or spiritual turmoil.

God hears and answers our prayers. Remember that nothing is too difficult or impossible through Him, our Father God. 

It’s simple. Courageous prayers still work.

Asian Americans Call on the Church to Preach Against Coronavirus Racism

racism

Inspired by their convictions around human dignity and their hope in the body of Christ, Asian American believers are asking the church to take the lead in opposing anti-Asian racism fueled by the coronavirus pandemic.

The Asian American Christian Collaborative released a statement describing the current rise in anti-Asian incidents—by some counts, more than 750 reports just last week—as the latest in the long history of “yellow peril” tropes in the US.

The statement denounces xenophobia, stands in solidarity with victims, and directs Christians to speak out and make changes in their churches, schools, and communities.

Our hope would be that people would address this from the pulpit,” said Ray Chang, who collaborated on the statement with church planter and writer Michelle Reyes. “There is no Good News without the bad news.”

The statement evokes the Christian commitment to neighborly love, calling for signatories to “engage in whole-life discipleship in your churches, and embrace the teaching and work of Jesus, by actively combating anti-Asian racism from the pulpit, in congregational life, and in the world.”

Hundreds have signed on, from prominent Asian American Christian leaders like North Park Theological Seminary professor Soong-Chan Rah and Evangelicals for Social Action director Nikki Toyama-Szeto to the heads of major evangelical entities like Fuller Seminary president Mark Labberton and World Relief president Scott Arbeiter.

Asian American Christians have been vocal about racist remarks, characterizations, and violence since the earliest days of the outbreak.

“‘America first’ or ‘my own race first’ is not living out the Parable …

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Lonely? Bloom Where You’re Quarantined

quarantine

This past Sunday, I took my children for a walk in a wildlife sanctuary on the edge of our small New England town. Sunday marked our ninth day of preventative quarantine from COVID-19, and after a busy week indoors adjusting to online schooling and working from home, we were ready to get outside in the fresh air. A shock of wintery weather had passed through Boston, so we pulled out hats and mittens, bundled up, and headed out to the Atlantic Ocean.

When we arrived, my four kids tumbled out of the car and went ahead of me down the trail. They ran and played, swatting each other with grasses and zigzagging off the trail to race through the meadows. As I stood for a moment and watched them, I closed my eyes and drank in the silence as the ocean wind carried away my children’s voices. Then it hit me like it has so many times over the last eight months: My husband is dead, and I’m here alone.

Only a year ago, my husband Rob brought me on a date to these meadows. We bought cherry hand pies from a local grocery store and sat eating them as the sunset. We enjoyed the companionable silence that comes with 17 years of marriage. As birds returned to their nests in the dusk, quiet rain began to fall. It was a moment out of a Robert Frost poem: Come over the hills and far with me, and be my love in the rain. But for all my wishing now, Rob will never be here again with me.

When he died last July in a tragic hiking accident, I discovered a dreadful aloneness that I’d never known before. At that moment when the chaplains came to tell me of his death, I lost my partner, my confidante, my co-parent, my lover, my advisor, and my best friend. I’d always been an independent person, an introvert, even, but I never wanted …

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