In Matthew’s gospel, you find the story about a woman crashing a dinner party. By labeling her a Canaanite (Matthew 15:22), Matthew connects her to those promiscuous and pernicious Promised Land pagans God commanded Israel to exterminate on account of their idolatry. You can read about it in Deuteronomy 20.
The name Canaan belonged to the son of Ham, Noah’s youngest, whose sordid story you can read in Genesis 9. The ensuing “curse of Ham” provides the backdrop for the Deuteronomy edict, but in later centuries, the narrative was exploited as a divine warrant for enslaving generations of dark-skinned Africans, arbitrarily labeled Ham’s descendants.
In the eyes of most slave traders and missionaries, Africans were uncivilized Canaanites, dogs undeserving of mercy even from God. In the United States, few efforts were made to convert slaves to Christianity until the 18th century, and only then after it was guaranteed that baptism would not alter their status as “property.”
In context, it’s hard to read Matthew’s label of this party-crasher and not hear shrill racial overtones—nobody else in the New Testament ever gets called a Canaanite dog. That it comes from the mouth of Jesus will prove poetically and powerfully ironic, but not without first disturbing our sensibilities.
Jesus acknowledges a stereotype that categorized the woman with the worst of outsiders, an enemy of Israel, cursed by God, marked by her color with no hope of anyone seeing her character. Ethicist Stacey Floyd-Thomas once preached how “black lives matter” may be as old as this encounter, though here, to everyone besides Jesus, the woman’s black life does not matter. And yet she persists, undaunted …
“A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise, a Levite when he arrived at the place, came and looked and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed came where he was and had compassion. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. So, which of these three do you think was a neighbor to him who fell among the thieves.” Luke 10:30-36
When you receive instructions from professionals on how to restore your relationship back to a place without pain – follow them! Remember the pain didn’t happen overnight, nor will the pain disappear overnight. It will require extra prayer, patience, and forgiveness to allow for healing to occur to bring your marriage back to a new normal.
When I reflected on it later in the day, I realized that 
This got me to thinking, I’ve been offended, hurt, and in a position where I never received apologies for some of these offenses. And, I am sure that I have been the cause of offense to others. The difference between my life situations and my driving experience is that I chose to get over that non-waving driver quickly. In life, however, I have allowed those offenses to sit so they aren’t as easy to remedy. 
I just hated the idea that I was being a hindrance to someone else. It’s one thing to say, “Aww man, God is causing a storm for me.” But when other people are involved, the stakes are higher. I could let them throw me overboard, or I could go to Nineveh in obedience.
God’s Word tells us that we can take on 
So often we think the answer is to be Time’s friend when we forget – Time has to answer to God, and we are friends of God (John 15:15)!
