Is He a Good Investment, Sis?
Is He a Good Investment, Sis?“Ain’t Nothing Going on But the Rent” was a song that was popular when I was a young girl. It was a song where the woman said, “You got to have a J-O-B if you want to be with me.” This was news to me. At that age, I just thought a boy sent you a note asking if you liked him and you checked yes or no. I didn’t know there were conditions!
But it was true. I’ve seen firsthand what it’s like to date someone who wasn’t working. They cannot function until they get their money right. It’s horrible for both sides. I can also say, I met a man once who told me he wasn’t working, but he had a plan. He did.
The part of the song that I’ve been thinking about in writing this piece is where she says, “No romance without finance.”
Why? Because romance and finance have a lot in common.
Both make us feel on top of the world. Both are for daily use. Both can be saved up for special occasions. Both can be blown with one mistake.
And, where both go ridiculously wrong is when we jump in irresponsibly without paying enough attention.
Should Christian Women Buy, Hold, or Sell-Off?
No banker makes an investment without research.
They look at facts, trends, history of performance on the market, and evaluate whether it’s a short-term or a long-term investment.
Bankers do not invest based on emotion.
“I’m lonely (or nervous about being broke or haven’t had money in a long time) so let me invest.”
Although some will tell you that there is the presence of instinct, financial pros mostly rely on cold hard facts because the goal is to make sure there is a return on investment (ROI).
What they invest must result in a profit. Or else what’s the point?
I’m thinking, it would be pretty wise for us to approach love and dating in that same way.
Read the Prospect(us)
Oftentimes, we meet a guy and we jump on the phone. “Girl, he said he could see us getting married and having kids!” “Dang, we look good together.” And for those of us who have unwisely jumped into the fire before marriage – “But the sex was so good.”
Our emotions about things that have yet to happen catch us in a stranglehold and we can’t see why he might be a “stock” that will flop. We say “I do” to something that should first be an “I don’t know yet.”
I’ll probably say this on every post that I write about singleness: Wait.
Listen. Watch. Wait. And then wait some more.
You are listening for his words, plans, and intentions. Watching for his actions to match up with his words. And, waiting for the boogie man to jump out of the closet.
I kid.
Most importantly, you are waiting to hear from God.
You are waiting to see if you and he will be compatible. Does he “get” you and do you “get” him? You are waiting to see how or if he worships. And what he does when he thinks no one is watching.
Having some of the same interests is good. I happen to think opposites can work. A funny person can help a straight-laced person loosen up sometimes. I’m not certain about the benefit of a straight-laced person. Maybe they’ll save you money on your taxes or invent a high-heel shoe that feels like your favorite slippers, I don’t know. But they need love, too!
Before you get to know all of this, it makes no sense to invest your heart.
What I won’t do here is tell you men are this or that or they do this or that. Men are people like we ladies are people. They are flawed like we are flawed. They either have character or they don’t. Just like us.
What I can say is that we each have the responsibility to choose wisely. And men and women both get it wrong sometimes.
Why?
Chasing Ponzi Schemes of Love
Ponzi schemes are built on and fed by people’s ego and greed, not need. And, by laziness, too. Your ego will make you believe that even if it looks too good to be true, you think you “deserve” it because you’re you. So you don’t do the independent research, and that’s how you end up losing your entire investment.
And by independent research, I don’t mean your friends. Or Google, though it’s useful to make sure he isn’t on America’s Most Wanted.
Ask God and pay attention!
He’s perfect. He does this, this, and that. He floats on air. He says everything right. The bathroom never smells after he goes. He never lies. He never gets mad. He has no enemies. He loves everybody. Everybody loves him. According to him.
PONZI ALERT!
A real person is going to be flawed, but their flaws are not going to be harmful, cause distrust, or drain you of your joy or finances.
I can’t tell you what to look for because, as I showed you in the man without a job scenario, each situation is different and should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.
But, the banker’s approach will help us make an informed investment and minimize some of the risks.
So, what’s the play call?
Discern from your listening, watching, and waiting to see if he’d be a 1 Peter 3:7 husband. Will he honor you and delight in you? Treat you like an equal heir of grace so his prayers don’t run amuck? Flowers are nice, but are they given from a pure heart? How he treats you now will be how he treats you later.
Evaluate short-term or long-term investing. Is he fun to date, but not the marrying type? Or is he a long-term investment with consistent payout – a lifetime commitment.
Keep watch on his performance, so that you will know when it is time to buy more stock – or sell!
Tell your feelings to hush until you believe the return will sustain you and be what you need.
I am not certain what your desired return might be, but investing based on consistency, perceived ability to love, trustworthiness, enjoyment of each other’s company, whether he has the desire for marriage and a family, has the desire to build a legacy, and seeing to it that you serve God together – is wisdom.
With the ultimate return being a Godly marriage…and free license for lots of good and righteous whoopee.
[You know you thought it, too.]
Be blessed y’all.
xo
Part of our mission as advocates for a unified and victorious Team Jesus is to keep us in the knowledge of the opposing team’s strategies and devices. We, like Paul, stand against Team ignorance, wherein the enemy could get an advantage over us – if we let him (2 Corinthians 2:11).
I learned a lesson that day, that being grateful is a continuous decision. I learned that if I make gratitude a priority, there will always be something at the forefront of my mind. 
About ten years ago, I learned that I was a Christian introvert. For years, I found comfort and peace in solitude, gravitated to smaller crowds with a preference to small circles of friends versus big crowds of associates. After decades of stereotypes, I realized that I was not shy, antisocial, snooty, or moody. While that was a great resolve after years of being misunderstood, I had to learn what exactly an introvert was. How could I successfully live my life for God and still 
One of my greatest fears was that my introverted persona would influence my ability to carry out my work for the Kingdom of God. You see, as passionate as I have been about strengthening my spiritual walk with God, I had a difficult time understanding how that could happen if I remained in my shell, refusing to share the pearls that God had gifted me. 
PSA: Introverts fit in and serve God the same way that extroverts do! 
I can recall when I first gave my life to Jesus and the overwhelming feeling of not knowing anything about Him. I wasn’t someone who was raised in the church; I did not come from a religious family. Prior to my pastor, I came in contact with a lot of people teaching about Christ, yet differently. This surprised me. I had been under the impression that if someone called themselves a Christian, they believed and followed the same things. Unfortunately, you and I know this is not the case.
As your teammate, I earnestly desire that you be knowledgeable. Living as a Christian is not a beach stroll in paradise. It’s a battlefield. The Bible said in the last days there would be many false Christs and false prophets (Matthew 24:24). It is Biblical that we consider what and who we receive in the name of the Lord. Look around, anyone with a smartphone and wifi can pass themselves off as a leader in the Body of Christ and promote whatever they want. Many are teaching and preaching Christ in error.
“And the brethren immediately sent away Paul and Silas by night unto Berea: who coming thither went into the synagogue of the Jews. These [Bereans] were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Therefore many of them believed; also of honorable women which were Greeks, and of men, not a few.” – Acts 17:10-12
So, a few weeks ago, I wanted mashed potatoes with the meal I was preparing. 
The thing about peeling potatoes is that it’s the part of the process you cannot skip. In order to enjoy delicious, homemade mashed potatoes, the potatoes must be peeled. Unless you leave the skin on or you’re making potato salad, ya gotta peel them.
Planning a wedding is a very special season in a couple’s relationship – but it can also be very expensive and overwhelming. Communication and careful premarital financial planning can go a long way in helping you prepare for marriage and your 
When you’re independent and earning an income, it is easy to make financial decisions that do not affect anyone but yourself. However, in preparing for marriage, you may need to realize that your decisions can have a direct impact on your partner.
The diet industry claims to have the answers. They wrap up these formulas, facts, research, eating plans, exercises, and specials tricks into neat and tidy packages – diet plans, books, programs, and supplements. Our culture continues to flash us with perfectly shaped bodies and air-brushed pictures on tv, social media, ads and every other place, causing a deep discontent and inner longing to love the way we look. 
I know, I know. We all want an easy diet plan that will get us to our goal! Mind work takes time, attention, and getting out of all the noise around us to actually notice the talk going on in our head. But, if a 6-week meal plan was all we really needed to get us to our goals, we wouldn’t have a health crisis in our country. Neither would we hear complaints of fatigue and lack of energy, and we wouldn’t have body image issues. 
I recall being a child, growing up in my parent’s home, and my mother often reminding my younger brother and me of all the things that we did not buy, and with good reason.
As I think back, there have been numerous times, as I’ve grown older, that I “forgot” what was done for me and given to me. Times when I didn’t acknowledge that I didn’t get where I was on my own, but that someone else made it possible for me to get there.
