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3 Ways to Serve the Lord with Gladness From a Sad or Broken Heart

repentance

“Worship? But, I Don’t Feel Like It.”

thoughts and prayersA broken heart will jack up everything, won’t it?

You’re feeling sad, nothing makes sense. It’s a challenge to eat or sleep. Sometimes, you just want to stop feeling and thinking altogether.

In the middle of all this madness, where could you find time to serve the Lord? “Lord, can’t I just catch a break from serving and honoring you, because _____?

Our “fill in the blank” moments aren’t just the place where we justify our breakdowns and retreat from society (or social media lol). These moments are ripe to fill with honor, obedience, and praise to God through the heartache and pain. Easier said than done? Yep! But, the doing is not impossible with a little guidance from our playbook.

Shift. Look Away. Try a Different Perspective.

One of the first things we have to do if we’re going to serve and honor God during a period of heartbreak is to shift the attention from ourselves to something that shows us ourselves. Huh? Keep reading…

Remember when Jesus Himself recommended this strategy for worry: “Look [away from yourself; consider] at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26)

Team, what this implies is – a focus on our problem distorts the truth of our reality. Yes, you may have needs, but you are more valuable than the birds who toil for nothing. God will likewise take care of you!

And, what about the countless testimonies of the disciples or ancient Christians – were they familiar with sadness, heartache, and suffering?

What would happen if we shifted our focus to a jailed Paul and Silas in prison – to see our true reality? How were they able to serve and honor God – praying and singing – from a place of bondage (Acts 16:25)? Our Father, who has no respect of persons, will likewise deliver us!

Once we open our broken hearts wider to be able to “shift and look away” – if only for a moment – God will do the rest to heal and deliver us from heartache. As you walk through the journey of sadness and pain, carry these truths with you to the other side:

1. Speak and Pray the Word of God.

If there’s one thing you can’t trust during times of heartache, sadness, and pain – it’s words from your broken heart.

Typically, our words are busy telling others what “they” did, describing how bad we (rightfully) feel, or we’re cussin’ and fussin’ up a storm and often creating more chaos.

Who says you have to feel like speaking life when you really feel like death? You don’t! Declare the scriptures anyway – morning, noon, and night!

But, isn’t that like speaking a lie? Isn’t that being dishonest with how you truly feel?

That’s what we miss, Team! Our feelings will always try to misrepresent Truth when Jesus said He was the Truth! (John 14:6). Speaking life when you feel like dying will – wait for it… save your life and usher in healing!

2. Know that God is not Hurting You.

Team, one of the enemy’s tactics in this game is to paint God in a negative light or as having some negative, hidden agenda against us. He did it with Eve in the Garden – “God just doesn’t want you to be like Gods” (Genesis 3:5). The devil also tried it with Job through his wife, “Why don’t you just curse God [who’s allowing this pain] and die” (Job 2:9).

While your heartache and pain may entertain the notion of displacement – a defense mechanism that shifts your emotions and blame to a person other than the source of the pain – you must be steadfast and trust that God is not hurting or punishing you.

Don’t direct negative emotions or anger to God. No matter the heartache that others or life are causing right now, know that God loves you! He’s preparing a table for you in front of your enemies to restore and replenish you.

It is during these troubling times that your investment in time to get to know your Father will pay abundant dividends, and prove all attempts to otherwise slander God’s love for you fruitless.

3. Maintain a Posture of Worship.

Worships is sacrifice, and there’s no more appropriate time to sacrifice your praise before the Lord than when you’re heartbroken. I know you may feel like you’ve BEEN SACRIFICED, but you’ll be surprised…

There is power in your, “Yet will I worship Him!” It holds the power not only to heal that broken place in your life, but to produce more worship than you thought you had. A posture of worship will also draw out praise and worship from others who know (or suspect) your story and see your witness.

Yes, worship is your testimony before the testimony! Before you can ever muster the strength to mumble a word about how the Lord is on the case or how He brought you through, your worship testifies to the glorious goodness of God. Worship magnifies the King of King and Lord of Lords above the broken pieces of your life. It rightfully acknowledges Him as Master Potter who is yet able to create a masterpiece from this massive mess.

Lay it all on the altar before God. Sacrifice your praise and worship, and watch God raise up something greater for your life.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Our tears, heartache, weariness, frustration – they don’t cancel out our promise to reap God’s blessings. However, giving up does (Galatians 6:9)!

So, don’t faint, Team. Don’t faint. You have a personal, pre-determined date with “due season” deliverance. Do whatever it takes to keep your appointment.

Love Y’all!

 

Renew Your Mind: 4 Ways to Give Your Brain a Break

renew your mind

Since we have been on a national time out – I mean in quarantine – I have been watching quite a bit more television than I normally would, as have some of you (I won’t tell). No worries though, I have found balance and haven’t been consumed by Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, or Disney Plus (yes, I have all the subscriptions, judge your cable service).

I have my specific times when I watch TV, which is usually at night, and I have times that I ignore the fact that there are televisions in the house. So, this isn’t about my watching too much TV.

Actually, what I have learned is what my brain can handle, and how much.

You see, there are some shows that I can watch for hours on end and there are some that I have to break from after a couple of episodes. It’s as if the drama starts to get to me and I can’t stand it anymore.

The same thing happens when I watch the news. At one point, I found myself all tangled up in the Netflix show “All American”. Yes, it’s good, but I found that about every three episodes, I was spent. I felt as if all of my heartstrings were intertwined with the characters and I wanted to solve all their problems. So goes the life of an empath.

After 3 episodes I had to change my focus by way of a different show, a book, walk, anything other than what was happening in the life of Spencer James (show’s main character). Now, it isn’t just that show, there are a few others that get to me. All their issues seem to make my brain hurt and weigh on me. This is probably why I can’t get with reality TV, which is probably for the best.

Know When to Renew Your Mind

renew your mindI have figured out that the same thing happens in my everyday life. There are situations that, after so long, I begin to shut down and need to step away. It took a while for me to understand that I’d just had enough for that moment. I just felt like I had to see everything through until it was completely resolved, but I wasn’t built for drama. Even when helping someone else, I needed to learn when to walk away.

I mean, it’s good, necessary even, to be there for others, but not to your own detriment.

The same goes for you. You must learn when your tolerance level hits that wall. If you are in a situation but you’ve tapped out, you are no good to whoever is on the other side.

Pay attention to yourself when you get to the point of “Whatever, I don’t care anymore.” It may stop you from making a rash decision or resenting yourself or others.

So, What’s the Play Call?

I know it can be easy to get caught up in the drama surrounding you or the people you care about, but please remember these things in order to renew your mind:

  1. God can give you relief. No matter how heavy the circumstance may seem or how deep into the situation you may feel, God can handle it. “From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalms 61:2
  2. Block out the noise. Yep, turn off that “television”, which can actually be whoever is calling you for advice. It is imperative that you hear from the Creator before you can properly be the giver. “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalms 46:10
  3. It’s OK to take the time to clear your mind. The mind can be a dangerous battlefield if we aren’t careful with how we manage it. By manage, I mean what we allow to occupy that space between our ears. This is why our transformation comes once our minds are renewed by Christ. I think it is important to note that renewing isn’t a one-time thing – renewal is always available to us. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2
  4. Have intentionally good thoughts. I say this because there have been times when my mind was so clogged with everybody’s everything that I had to stop and force myself to think about better things – vacation, food, clouds, all of that. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8

The mind is a lot more fragile than we treat it. Overstimulation is real. Give your brain a break and let God renew you. Block out the external factors long enough for Him to enter your train of thought. Let Him give your mind rest. 

 

Largest Christian Radio Company Faces Financial Crisis Due to Coronavirus Downturn

christian radio

The largest Christian radio company in the United States suffered a major financial blow as ongoing industry challenges collided with the economic impact of COVID-19.

Salem Media Group reaches an estimated 298 million weekly listeners on 3,100 stations branded as The Fish, The Answer, Faith Talk, and more. The mega-broadcaster rose to dominance with a revenue model that protected it from some of the ad volatility suffered by its secular counterparts, but that hasn’t been enough in this recent downturn.

Salem’s share price has dropped from a high of about $30 in 2004 to about $6 in 2018 and to 80 cents on Monday. The company’s investment value has been downgraded to “poor quality” and “high risk” by Moody’s, a top credit ratings agency.

On Tuesday the board of directors announced that it would temporarily suspend quarterly payments of dividends to shareholders. The top executives’ salaries were cut by 10 percent.

Financial analyst Michael Kupinski, who specializes in media and entertainment companies, wrote that he expects Salem to “weather the storm,” but not without taking drastic measures. According to Kupinski, that could include “asset sales and aggressive cost-cutting,” such as selling off some of the 100 stations owned by Salem or laying off some of its more than 1,400 employees.

Salem did not respond to Christianity Today’s requests for comment. In its most recent financial filing, vice president and chief financial officer Evan Masyr wrote that “it is impossible to predict the total impact that the pandemic will have on our business.”

Salem airs religious programing from teachers such as Chuck Swindoll, John MacArthur, Tony Evans, …

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The Pride Guide: How to Identify the Sin of Pride in Your Life

sin of pride

I have a question for you; do you have pride? No, I’m not talking about school pride or pride in your work. I’m talking about the sin of pride.

Pride is a very sneaky entity because its progenitor is satan who is very conniving and sneaky himself. Before you know it, pride could roll up on you without warning or notice!

How do I know?

A Portrait of the Sin of Pride

sin of prideAs I began my college career at North Carolina A&T State University, I knew that I had plans to get involved with the television station on campus. So, as I walked into Mr. DeVanney’s office, the Television Studio Manager, little did I realize that pride walked in behind me. As I began speaking, pride began speaking as well. And before I knew it, I began bragging and boasting about my level of experience with a camera. Mr. DeVanney listened and believed what pride was telling him.

As time progressed, pride continued to follow me without notice. Eventually, God saw fit that I received the opportunity I was fishing for – homecoming (or G.H.O.E. as we call it) in Aggieland. I finally received my first booking as the camera operator for one of the big homecoming events being held off-campus. However, pride didn’t come with me this time. Instead, it decided to sleep in because it had already worked so hard.

I proceeded to the location and filmed the homecoming concert on a camera that I had little experience with – despite what pride told my advisor prior to the engagement. Surprisingly, I did okay, but the audio started acting up. As a result, the footage was unusable.

Next up – the gospel concert. Everything was going as planned until I accidentally left the camera unattended sitting on the tripod. In production, that is a big no-no, anything could happen! It could tilt over, someone could knock it down, etc. Mr. DeVanney made sure that I learned a lesson. He went behind my back and laid the camera down on the ground. When I returned, I was in total shock and Mr. DeVanney stood disappointed.

That next morning, Mr. DeVanney brought me into his office. As he was scolding me, he reminded me that I had come in there bragging and boasting about what I had done in the past. That’s when it dawned on me. I allowed Pride to make a fool of me.

Recognize the Sin of Pride Before It’s Too Late!

come as a childGod had been resisting me. It was like His palm was firmly planted on my forehead as I walked through life and it was really uncomfortable. It was constant. He doesn’t bodyslam the proud, He just resists them. But God gives grace – free gifts that we didn’t deserve or earn – to the humble and HE exalts them in due time (1 Peter 5:5-6).

Could it be that God is resisting you in your relationships, business, church, or another area of your life? With pride comes contention.

The Argument Against Pride

The reason we shouldn’t sin isn’t just that the Bible says not to or because it’s wrong. We don’t avoid sin just because we could get caught, it could mess up our future, or because we’ll miss out on blessings.

No! We should avoid sin because it hurts our relationship with God.

If you know that you have even a little bit of pride in your heart and you’re not that fazed by it, it’s like raising your fist in God’s face and saying, “Hey God, I don’t care that I’m regularly walking and living in this sin of pride.  I’m okay with not having all that great of a relationship with you.

If that’s you, then watch out. God is resisting you. And because He loves you, you likely have some humiliation coming which will process humility in you.

So, What’s The Play Call?

Examine yourselves with the following Pride Guide. While not all-inclusive, I’ve managed to separate pride into 4 categories: Pride of Spirituality, Pride of Knowledge, Pride of Power, and Pride of Appearance. Take each category to the Lord in prayer; ask God to search your heart. Repent and turn from the sin of pride unto full and complete reliance on God.

1. Pride of Spirituality

  • The intentional, overt display of spirituality and false piety.
  • Asceticism – The rejection of money, pleasure, joy, fame, or possessions with the misconception that it wins points with God.
  • False Humility – Humility is seeing yourself and what you do the way it actually is. Pride is not seeing yourself or what you do the way it actually is.

Character traits

  1. Brags about how much they are NOT materialistic.
  2. Excessively gives away nice possessions or money as a public show of self-sacrifice.
  3. Tells everyone, “I gave up a high paying career to do this ministry” or other good work.
  4. Makes excuses for the physical blessings in their life.
  5. Looks down their SELF-righteous noses at the wealthy or successful 

“Super Christians”

  1. Spiritualize every conversation.
  2. Speak with a different accent or voice about spiritual stuff.
  3. Think they’re more spiritual or righteous than others around them.
  4. Despise or detest sinners, graceless.
  5. Insist on having certain roles in the church that they’re disqualified or unqualified for, just to prove to people that they’re spiritual.
  6. Talk a lot about their spiritual gifts as an apostle or prophet, but not about the less public ones.
  7. Look down on or badmouth Christians or other denominations who believe differently than they do about spiritual gifts.
  8. Brag about their fasting so that people KNOW they’re fasting, instead of “When you fast, do not look sullen like the hypocrites, for they make their faces unattractive SO THAT people will see them fasting. I tell you the truth, they have their reward.” Matthew 6:16
  9. Pray in public to be seen rather than to reach the heart of God; Rehearse or spruce up their public prayers using different words and phrases that they would never say when praying alone, as described: “Whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray while standing in synagogues and on street corners SO THAT people can see them. Truly I say to you, they have their reward.” Matthew 6:5
  10. Say, “I’ll pray for that” when they have absolutely no intention of praying – but it sounds spiritual for sure.
  11. Don’t accept compliments, but instead say, “Thank you, but no. It was all God.” Knowing that if it was all God, it would have been a lot better than what was done.
  12. Say that they’re lower or worse than everyone else.
  13. Tell you how very humble they are; “In my humble opinion…”

2. Pride of Knowledge

  • Excessive displays of how smart and knowledgeable one is; a know-it-all.

Character traits

Unteachable

  1. Irritated whenever someone attempts to teach them something.
  2. Consistently answer “I know, I know” or “Yeah, I already knew that…” to most situations.
  3. Too smart for formal education or training; “But what could I learn?”

Highly opinionated

  1. Often interrupt people mid-sentence to correct or share their knowledge, “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
  2. Finish other people’s sentences, “I know what you’re going to say. You were going to say…”
  3. Constantly try to prove people wrong.
  4. When their actions are questioned, the response is, “Don’t you think I know what I’m doing?”
  5. Refuse to listen to the ideas or wisdom of those leading them OR those they lead.
  6. Use big words when unnecessary, and then explain them to you.
  7. Despise and detest people of other political beliefs.

Defensive when corrected or criticized (Note: If you ever get defensive in marriage, then you have pride and it has to be dealt with. We think the best defense is a great offense when our pride is hurt. But, “with pride comes only contention…” Proverbs 13:10)

  1. Attack back when questioned or confronted about a valid mistake or wrongdoing.
  2. Struggle to admit when they are wrong.
  3. Defend their kids and attack anyone who addresses their kids’ wrong behavior (because they think it reflects badly on them).
  4. Refuse to or are slow to say, “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”
  5. Blame everyone for their own actions; despise accountability.
  6. Set up excuses in advance so any failure isn’t their fault.
  7. Lie, deflect, or make excuses when corrected or criticized.
  8. Say things like, “Everybody makes mistakes. Heck, you make mistakes, too.

Argumentative – They just have to be right

  1. Don’t discuss differences to learn, but rather to show off how much they know.
  2. Have an “I told you so” mentality; they will constantly remind you about when they were right and you were wrong.
  3. Must have the last word at all costs.
  4. Argue strange, hard to defend beliefs or doctrines to impress others with their intellect.

Critical – Highlight others’ flaws to make themselves feel better

  1. Quick to correct or criticize spouses, kids, pastors, and other leaders.
  2. Criticize with no intention of building up or improving the situation.
  3. Use harsh teasing to tear down.
  4. Negative, always complaining.
  5. Don’t show much mercy or grace to others.
  6. Mean spirited.

3. Pride of Power

  • The overt display of one’s capabilities. “But once he became powerful, his pride destroyed him. He disobeyed the LORD his God…” 2 Chronicles 26:16
  • Controlling – being obeyed gives their SELF a satisfying feeling, sense of power

Character traits

  1. Excessively taking care of, controlling, or shielding older children; pay the consequences for their kid’s irresponsibility.
  2. Use manipulation to keep significant others or adult children close.
  3. Try to control or sway their adult children’s marriages.
  4. Use others in relationships to keep them hanging on.
  5. Use temper tantrums to influence others, e.g. throw their wedding ring, threaten to boycott events, scream, threaten divorce, or withhold affection.

Legalistic – Control through excessive rules; manipulate obedience in others

  1. Don’t want kids to rebel mostly so that the parent’s SELF-image isn’t tarnished.
  2. Must have the appearance of spirituality in strict dress codes and grooming.
  3. King James Version is the only version of the Bible they will read (huge red flag).
  4. Hold fast to a few chosen Old Testament laws. 

Refuse to practice submission – Makes their SELF falsely feel inferior, especially if they have a positional leader

  1. Want the autonomy to decide how to live their life; lack of submission to God. “God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble. So submit to God. But resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.” James 4:5-8
  2. Hate being told to do anything.
  3. Will submit in the little things, but not in the big things.
  4. Refuse to follow godly church leaders.
  5. Husbands won’t submit to God.
  6. Wives won’t submit to husbands.
  7. Children won’t submit to parents.
  8. Employees won’t submit to employers.

Self-Reliant – Consistently reject guidance, help, or wisdom from God or man. “When they were fed, they became satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; as a result, they forgot me!” Hosea 13:6

  1. Overtly and defiantly independent.
  2. Fear or worry a lot because they depend on their own abilities.
  3. Hate to rely on others.
  4. Think their abilities are superior to others.
  5. Refuse to let others make decisions.
  6. Are bothered when a decision is made without their input or consent.
  7. Don’t see much need for prayer.
  8. Willing to help, but not to be helped.
  9. Willing to financially support, but won’t ask for support.
  10. Rarely say the words, “Thank you” to God or man. “But Hezekiah was ungrateful; he had a proud attitude, provoking God to be angry at him…” 2 Chronicles 32:25 

Excessive need for credit, praise, or admiration

  1. Hungry to be made mention of for accomplishments, service, or selflessness.
  2. Lie about events or accomplishments, beyond embellishing a story to make it fun.
  3. Lie to take credit for things they didn’t do.
  4. Don’t give compliments or credit to whom it is due.
  5. Hate sharing the spotlight.
  6. Shoot down or don’t share other people’s good ideas.

Importance – The feeling that the value of their SELF grows with accomplishments, status, wealth, or success. “By your great skill in trade you have increased your wealth, and your heart is proud because of your wealth.” Ezekiel 28:5

  1. People who exploit others to get rich, i.e. health and wealth televangelists, those who prey on the elderly’s money, etc.
  2. Think their worth to God is based on their sacrifices of time, family, or money.
  3. Think that everybody needs their help.

Workaholic – believes work gives their SELF more worth

  1. Believe that their value is based on performance.
  2. Obsessed with praise for their discipline, schedule, productivity or busyness.
  3. Love the feeling of their SELF being praised and built up more than they care about the SELF of their kids who don’t believe their SELF is worth much anymore.
  4. Work long hours doing the work of 2-3 people. Often called a Workhorse or a Machine.
  5. Serve or work so much that it hurts their family relationships.
  6. Volunteers for everything.
  7. Hungry to be depended on.
  8. Can’t say no.
  9. People pleaser.
  10. Unable to set boundaries.
  11. Addicted to power and control.
  12. Don’t delegate much.

Grandiosity – Feeling of superiority to the common man, in their essence, to the point that some even believe they are god-like

  1. Condescending or disdainful attitude toward people because of their differing tastes.
  2. Look down their noses, demean, belittle, intimidate, bully others whose likes or dislikes differ from their own ‘superior’ ones.
  3. Have an unrealistic sense of, and sustained view of, their own SELF as better than other people.
  4. Have a strong perceived sense of personal uniqueness or coolness.
  5. Believe that few people have anything in common with their SELF.
  6. Believe that their SELF can only be understood by very few, special people.

Boastful and arrogant “Proud men will be brought low, arrogant men will be humiliated…” Isaiah 2:11

  1. Overly materialistic, hoping people will think more highly of them.
  2. Skillfully brag about their successful ministry, business, family – but in a humble sounding way.
  3. Hint around at their success.
  4. Claim that they’re a genius or one of the best ever; one of the best on their team.
  5. Talk a lot about their importance, status, accomplishments, possessions, education, title, position, credentials or financial status.
  6. Name drop the high-profile people they associate with.
  7. Surround themselves with ‘good looking’ or successful people.
  8. Think certain tasks would lower their image or value of their SELF.
  9. Feel entitled to white-glove treatment at any cost.
  10. Feel superior to or are prejudiced towards less wealthy, refined, educated or less successful people; superior to those from a different country or culture.

Inconvenience to others – the world revolves around their SELF. Self-centered, ego-centric, self-absorbed

  1. Feel powerful when people have to wait on them, e.g. people who purposely drive slow in the fast lane and won’t let people pass.
  2. Regularly make everyone wait on them to get to the meeting before they can start.
  3. Inconsiderate. Disrespectful of other people’s time

Not interested in other people

  1. Rarely ask questions of others because they’re more interested in their SELF than in the SELF of others.
  2. Dominate conversations by talking about their SELF.
  3. Resist complimenting others.
  4. Wait to be served instead of serve.
  5. Neglect others.
  6. Not generous.
  7. Abandon their family to pursue their own SELF feeling good.

Depression – There are a lot of legitimate medical and traumatic reasons for depression. Focus on SELF and believing what’s not true about their SELF is a very common one. Pride is a major cause of depression for hundreds of millions of people

Shyness 

  1. Overly concerned with others’ opinions of their SELF.
  2. Social isolation.
  3. Are afraid of not being liked.
  4. Are afraid of being criticized
  5. Are afraid of being rejected, again.
  6. Are afraid of embarrassing themselves.

Highly Sensitive

  1. Interpret innocent remarks as demeaning, threatening, or critical.
  2. Unable to laugh at themselves when they do something funny.
  3. Can’t accept good-natured teasing.
  4. Have a hard time forgiving.
  5. Are offended when their idea, ability or motive is questioned.
  6. Quick to anger.

Envious – think that when others have things they don’t, it makes their SELF look bad. “For where there is jealousy and SELF-ishness, there is disorder and every evil practice…” James 3:16-17

  1. Constantly compare themselves to others.
  2. Bothered when someone equal to them has success.
  3. Wants other people’s status symbols to make their SELF look better.
  4. Sabotage those close to them so good things or success won’t happen.
  5. Believe other people are envious of them

4. Pride of Appearance

  • Try really hard to impress people with their looks or physique.
  • Narcissistic, overt SELF-love, Conceited, SELF-glorification, Egotistic, SELF-worship. “Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom on account of your splendor…” Ezekiel 28:17
  1. Feel their appearance gives them more worth.
  2. Think their beauty makes them superior to others.
  3. Flaunt their figure/physique so others will praise them.
  4. Spend excessive time on hair, clothing, weight, body, shape to impress.
  5. Forced anorexia or bulimia.
  6. Obsessively work hard to avoid the appearance of aging.
  7. Excessively post photos or videos of themselves exercising.
  8. Spend excessive time for their SELF to look good while neglecting family.

Two final things to remember…

  1. These signs of pride are what I found through personal observation, written down, and then consolidated here for your reading. Sharing the facts.
  2. If you only saw yourself in a couple of places on this list, then you have just a little bit of cancer. Desperately pursue treatment. Everyone is infected with Pride. Don’t be okay with it. This is serious.

At the end of the day, we’ll always battle pride, but if we know what it looks like when it flares up, we can knock it back down before too much damage is done.

If people can’t recognize what the signs of cancer look like, then they’ll never know they need help. As for today, I warn you. Be careful and stay on the lookout for pride. It is the son of satan who’s proud to admit it.

So, stay close to God so you can stay away from pride! Think about it.

Too Much Jesus? 7 Ways Hyper-Spirituality Hijacks Happy Marriages

hyper-spirituality

The Sanctuary of Marriage

I remember a funny moment when we were a young married couple moving into our very first home over 25 years ago; it was a quaint, 2-bedroom townhome with hardly any furniture, but a lot of love.

Now, if you’re like me – raised by a Holy Ghost filled, fire baptized Mama who believed in the power of prayer and God’s protecting angels – there’s one thing that EVERY new home needed way before welcome mats and housewarming gifts. Can you guess?

You got it! Oily, finger-drawn crosses above every door and window in the house LOL!

I’ll never forget the day Mama came over to anoint our new place. Making her way around the entire house, praying in the Spirit, she headed upstairs:

Hubby (following Mom, smiling back at me): Where you going, Mama?
Mama: I’m going upstairs.
Hubby: In our bedroom?
Mama (approaching the bedroom door): Yeah, boy.
Hubby (sliding Mom back into the hall, closing the bedroom door): Ummm, naww, that’s OK, Mama. That’s our sanctuary – Jesus don’t go in there LOL!

Even Mama had to come out the Spirit for that good laugh!

That memory prompts questions for husbands and wives in the church today:

Is there too much Jesus in your marriage?
Are you a hyper-spiritual spouse?

Let’s dive in, Cleavers, and take a real look at marriage in the body of Christ, intimacy, and the role of God, husband, and wife.

God’s Place in Marriage

christian marriageIt’s true. We want God to be the center of our marriages. Did you ask God for a “God-fearing” man or woman – since He’s that foundational third cord (Ecclesiastes 4:12) that can make a marriage unbreakable?

Well, I’m sorry (not sorry) to have to break it to you, Cleavers, but God alone is not enough to make your marriage work {insert gasps}! Yes, our Playbook said in Ecclesiastes, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken” – BUT IT DOES NOT SAY THAT IT’S UNBREAKABLE.

Yes, you married a man who faithfully attends church. Yes, you married a “praying woman”. Yes, s/he was a wo/man of God who loved the Lord. And yet, according to new marriage and divorce statistics released by The Barna Group, the divorce rate for the body of Christ is just as high as those who have not accepted Jesus Christ (over 30%).

So, what gives?

Are You Speaking in Tongues More Than You Tongue Kiss?

Funny question, but let’s think about it. One of the most important tenets of a successful, happy marriage is communication. And, did you know that intimacy – physical and non-physical – is a key facet of communication in marriage? And, do you realize that real intimacy must be drenched in honesty and transparency?

Going back to our 3-fold cord of God, husband, and wife – 2 cords cannot rely on 1 cord to do all of the work. While husbands and wives can depend on God for wisdom, guidance, and direction – the intricate “work” of “doing” marriage is the responsibility of the man and the woman.

Bishop Noel Jones had an interesting take on the roles of man, woman, and God in marriage at this year’s Young Leaders Conference (paraphrase):

If you’re expecting God to keep your mate while you do nothing but give your time and energy to the ‘things of God’, you are making a huge mistake! There are some lines God won’t cross!

You see, Cleavers, if it wasn’t good for man to be “alone” (Genesis 2:18), and Adam already had God – there’s something that husbands and wives can give each other in this earthly realm that God will not. That’s not His responsibility – but ours.

So, we can’t be so “sold out” for God that we “sell out” our marriages and the needs of our spouse. This is why Paul hints at the fact that those who are single care for the things of God. When you make those covenant marriage vows, you’re committing to a life of service to your spouse – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, and the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.

Tell-Tale Signs of Hyper-Spirituality in Marriage

So, what does hyper-spirituality look like in a marriage? Here’s a brief checklist of examples – do any of these voices or mindsets sound familiar (in no particular order):

  1. “God gave me this {church, ministry, business} and called me to glorify Him – so I don’t have time to ________.”
  2. Every disagreement includes or ends with a scripture lesson nag of what your spouse did or is not doing – including cross-references.
  3. More time spent in prayer for others (the sick, needy, even the marriage) than laying hands on your spouse; some form of “Kingdom work” comes before sexual intimacy.
  4. Seeking “signs and wonders” outside and above the marriage; seeking the deep things of God before the basic responsibilities of marriage.
  5. The inability to have a meaningful, transparent conversation with your spouse without quoting scripture, using “churchy” cliches, or anything relating to “Jesus” at all.
  6. Wives who broaden the context of being “discreet and chaste” (Titus 2:5) to the bedroom.
  7. Manipulating scripture to either limit or avoid intimacy and service; hiding secret issues behind piety rather than seeking help.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Ask yourself, “Am I destroying my marriage in the name of or for the sake of Christ?”

God forbid. Your marriage, your home will always be your first ministry, and God will not require, nor cosign, that you neglect your spouse for the sake of Him.

If you sense that there’s an imbalance in your marriage, or if you know that you have not been as present as your husband or wife needs you to be – apologize, talk with your spouse, and listen to their heart. Ask God to guide both of your perspectives on marital responsibilities and serving one another, and how to best manage your outside priorities and goals. Remember, the relationship between the church and God is mirrored after marriage – not the other way around (Revelation 19:7-9). Your marriage is paramount!

Know that as you honor your spouse, you are honoring God – and that’s the conclusion of the whole matter.

Love y’all!

The Keys to Tenacity in Our God-Given Purpose

god-given purpose

After reading Nehemiah recently, I began to think about tenacity – the driving force that keeps our hands to the plow in our God-given purpose. Tenacity sustains us, despite all the challenges we face when we decide to do something.

We see a great example of tenacity in Nehemiah. Israel had been captured, and Jerusalem was destroyed. I assume many of them died in the process, families were likely separated and not all of them had fared as well as Nehemiah. He was doing well for himself as a cupbearer.

One day he heard a discouraging report about the Israelites back home in Jerusalem and he wept for his people. Nehemiah fasted and prayed for many days and repented on behalf of Israel.

Soon he found himself asking the king for permission to leave and go rebuild Judah. Nehemiah made a bold request and the king granted it. How many of us are willing to leave a great job or a comfortable life in order to build? How many of us have this kind of self-sacrificing passion or burden to build what God desires? Nehemiah didn’t know what would happen to him. He was determined to return home and rebuild even though he knew his God-given purpose would put his life in danger.

Your God-given Purpose Will Meet Opposition.

god-given purposeEver notice how, soon after you make such a courageous decision, you’re met with opposition? Nehemiah 2:19 says “But when Sanballat the Horonite, Tobiah the Ammonite official, and Geshem the Arab heard of it they laughed at us and despised us”. Chapter 4 says that Sanballat even spoke with the army of Samaria about it and mocked the Jews.

Now, these weren’t your average haters. They went as far as to threaten war. It is interesting how our obedience to God will manifest enemies in our lives, no wonder some people would rather stay in the safety of their comfort zones. Many times, we can even be our own enemy. Fears and doubts can hold us back if we’re not careful to cast those thoughts down (2 Corinthians 10:5).

If they didn’t have enough to deal with already, the Jews who lived closer to these other nations came to Nehemiah and his team to speak death over them. Nehemiah 12:4 says “So it was, the Jews who dwelt near them came that they told us ten times, from whatever place you turn, they will be upon us.” These were their own people and men of God.

Sometimes the people we expect to be supportive and optimistic are the naysayers. Living closer to the enemy limited their faith. This is why we have to be mindful of our environment while serving and living for God.

Purpose Demands Courage and Tenacity.

I can’t imagine how difficult this must have been for them. Trying to do what God told them to do with nations coming against them and some of their own people doubtful.

Nehemiah and the Israelites are a portrait of courage and tenacity. They didn’t allow themselves to be shaken. Instead, they changed their strategy. They decided to have some of the men work on building and others would stand guard in case they were attacked. How were they so bold and unwavering? Well, Nehemiah 4:6 says that the people had a made-up mind to work.

Empower Your Purpose.

How do we get to the point that we are so committed to our God-given purpose that nothing can hold us back? The answer is simple. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that all scripture equips us for every good work. Psalm 119 is all about the power of the Word in our lives. Psalm 119:98 says, “You, through all your commandments, make me wiser than my enemies.”

Wisdom gives us the confidence and courage to do seemingly impossible things. Psalm 119:105 says the Word is a lamp to our feet, meaning it leads us. When we understand that God has equipped us, given us wisdom, and leads us, tenacity is the response to all our challenges.

We know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, powers spiritual wickedness (Ephesians 6:12). To fight and win these spiritual battles, we need the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17). Nehemiah fasted and prayed many days. He was being filled with the power of God to do the work. Even when you’re just trying to overcome your own self-imposed challenges the same is true. The Word is always the answer.

Tenacity follows courage. People who quit at the sign of trouble are usually insecure and uncertain, so they give up. Time spent with God in the Word is how we build spiritual endurance. We’re also given assurance and peace about our goals and God will confirm to you that you’re in His will.

So, What’s the Play Call?

So, Team, if there is something that God has called you to do and you have doubt or anxiety about it, spend more time in His Word. Pray and fast for many days like Nehemiah and allow God to strengthen you for the good work He has chosen you to do.

  • Remember that obedience to God will awaken enemies near and far, but the commandments make you wiser than your enemies (Psalm 119:98).
  • Don’t allow the naysayers to weaken your faith. Everyone can’t see the vision God has given you and your boldness may challenge their complacency.
  • Tenacity comes with confidence. If you don’t feel confident, reacquaint yourself with the promises of God. Revisit the Word He gave you – this is why journaling or “writing the vision” is important.

Be Blessed.

 

What is the Kingdom Response to Racism on our Watch

kingdom response to racism

Horrific.

I couldn’t actually watch it.

To me, there’s no other way to describe the recently released video of the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. For most of the world, the release of this footage was the first we had heard of the death of Arbery—a 25-year old African American man. His killers? A white man and his son, wielding a shotgun and a .357 magnum handgun, seemingly acting as a self-proclaimed neighborhood posse.

In broad daylight, Ahmaud bled out on a suburban street.

Consequences?

Seemingly zero. Walking free and uncharged for almost ten weeks, they rested comfortably in their homes. It appeared from the outside that the law was firmly on their side. Only until public pressure mounted from a released video that recorded the horrific event were charges ever leveled.

The thing is, this is not a historical account of life in the Jim Crow past. These are today’s headlines. Its today’s breaking news, eerily reminiscent of the historical fate so many had endured; unjustly beaten and murdered as if they were meaningless beings. Charges seldom ever brought forward.

Nothing, it seems, has changed.

Poignant outcries follow each subsequent wave of tragedy as Christians grapple with the Kingdom response to racism – how best to respond, lament, mourn, and even rage against the overt brokenness of the world around us. In the coming weeks, details will emerge that will try to color our limited view of what happened, yet nuanced details will not change one unalterable reality.

It’s a reality common to neighborhoods throughout North America. On our watch, racism and hatred are evil bearing their natural fruit in even the most supposedly manicured neighborhoods.

And so, it would seem, that emotion-filled outcries the day-after, simply are …

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Sleep Through the Storm: 5 Ways to Find Calm When Your Faith Wavers

sleep through the storm

Want to know something about me? No, you don’t actually have a choice; I sleep through thunderstorms. I mean, soundly, too. In fact, the harsher the storm, the more sound I sleep.

As soon as the thunder claps, I’m fighting to keep my eyes open. If there’s lightning, just count me all the way out.

I’ve been asked numerous times how this is possible, as the storms around here are sometimes pretty fierce. I have gone to work many days and had co-workers question my calm in such raging storms because it caused their entire families to wake up and take cover.

I surely cannot explain this phenomenon (they make it seem that way). But I will say that I welcome a good thunderstorm; there is just something about a good sky rumble that lulls me to sleep LOL.

On the flip side, the slightest movement or sound will wake me. A door closing, a baby crying, a light being cut on, they all wake me like an alarm. And, if that isn’t bad enough, once it’s subsided, I can’t just go back to sleep. Nope, I could be up for hours before I can shut my eyes again, if at all.

Can We Really Sleep Through the Storm?

sleep through the stormNo, this isn’t all about sleep – it’s about life. I realized something. My sleeping through storms is synonymous with how I handle life situations. You see, big things, major problems – circumstances don’t rattle me. I welcome the chaos and take it in stride. For the most part, I am considered the calm one that helps to sort through the crazy to find the solution. The more pieces to the puzzle, the more comfortable I am. The louder the “thunderstorm” the more at ease my mind is.

On the other hand, the little things rattle my cage. The small mistakes I make, the “did I apologize?” or “did I offend someone close to me?” moments tear me up. It’s like the light being flipped on as I sleep that urgently wakes me.

Calm Your Faith

I was watching television one evening when God called this to my attention and let me know that it’s not His will for me to panic in any instance. And, even though I am calm during the big moments, I am failing to trust Him with the little things.

Well, enough about me, what about you? Do you sleep through the thunderstorms, but wake at a pin drop? Or, do those storms keep you up and trembling, but you sleep through the noise from the television or a light being flipped on? Maybe you’re like me and welcome the chaos. Or, maybe the little things roll off you “like water off a duck’s back.”

Side note: Who even coined that phrase and in what century? Mmmkay, I’m back.

Whatever the size of the problem that makes you crouch in a corner, God says to let Him handle them. He did not die for us to allow our world to be shaken by stuff that He can control.

So, What’s the Play Call?

We all have our vices, but God wants us to seek Him for help and sleep through the storm in His complete care. Here are a few things to keep in mind whether you are a “storm sleeper” or if you sleep right through the light flip:

  1. God will not let that storm take you out. When you allow Him to handle it, He can take complete control. “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.” Psalms 55:22
  2. Fear is a trap. Fear keeps you in a place where you feel helpless and unreachable. Know that God is waiting for you to relinquish that fear so that He can save you from your troubles. “The fear of a man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe.” Proverbs 29:25
  3. Tell God what bothers you. There are times when something gets to me in such a way that I don’t even want to bother anyone else with it. The thing about God is that He wants us to “bother” Him with it. “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
  4. Check your thoughts. Often, our worry and panic begin with a simple thought that grows and then becomes a huge problem. Check your thoughts, make sure they line up with God’s word. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2
  5. God is with you through the storm. Don’t be like the disciples that panicked in the storm and thought the Deliverer was asleep right there with them. “And they came to him, and awoke him saying, master, master, we perish. Then he arose, and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water, and they ceased, and there was calm.” Luke 8:24

Whatever gets you rattled awake, please remember that God can handle it and bring peace to your “sleep”. There is no need to worry.

20 Ways Christian Parents Can Help Their Kids Cope with the Pandemic

help kids cope with pandemic

You’re not the only one feeling the press.

Little eyes, little ears, little bodies, and tender souls are doing their best to process this COVID-19 experience alongside their parents – with far fewer tools.

Try as we might to conceal it from them, a new “homeschool life,” coupled with a new work-from-home-world, or worse, a “no-work-at-all-world” – positions anxious children in full view of life’s troubling complications.

While we likely have ways of processing the noise, it’s entirely possible that our children might be overlooked in the missionary equation that lies before them.

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Here are 20 suggestions on how to help your children to process the pandemic:

  1. Ask them individually about what they are feeling and thinking about the pain they observe so you can grow in attentiveness to their unique needs;
  2. Pray with and for your children and speak courageous words of hope as you pray;
  3. Take one day each week for family worship: share a Scripture passage that is relevant to the moment, provide a single point of application, allow the children to discuss their ideas, and pray together;
  4. Memorize Scripture together as a family—the message your kids need to hear is the same message you need as well;
  5. Model neighbor-love by finding strategic ways to care for your neighbors who are hurting or alone. Take time with your children to prepare a simple gift basket for neighbors, or pick up and deliver some necessary groceries;
  6. Teach children to be a blessing to others by making crafts, writing cards, or scheduling calls with those who may need an encouraging touch;

  7. As the economy reopens, frequent local businesses and allow your kids to hear stories of the impact of the virus on everyday people they see regularly. Offer to pray with employees in front of your kids;

  8. Make allowance for shortened attention spans if you are watching a church service online. Take time to pause the video and help children process what they are hearing with a question of personal application;

  9. Process grief with children—allow them to feel the emotions of life in a fallen world even if that is simply mourning the loss of school or a big event they were looking forward to; Prepare them for adulthood where disappointment is normal and maturity is reflected in the ability to persevere through pain;

  10. Look out for vulnerable children in your community …

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Reopening Churches: How to Meet Safely When the Doors of the Church Reopen

reopening churches

[ Read in Indonesian | Chinese ]

Over the past four months, the spread of a new coronavirus has exploded across the globe, leaving packed ERs, ICU patients on ventilators, and families grieving over the loss of their loved ones.

To limit the spread of this virus, most governments implemented strict stay-at-home orders. This very blunt instrument was necessary because many countries were simply unprepared for the rapid spread of this virus. If nothing was done, the rising number of infections would have overwhelmed health care systems, and deaths would have quickly escalated.

During this period, churches across the US and around the world have closed their doors to in-person worship and ministries. As with many preventive actions, we may never know how this has limited the spread of COVID-19.

But as a global health professional who has worked for 25 years to control diseases around the world, I am certain that this has prevented many infections and deaths that would have occurred among congregants and their families and friends.

After six or more weeks of stay-at-home orders in the US, unemployment claims are piling up, people are getting antsy in their homes, and loud voices are increasingly calling for governments to relax their restrictions.

Public health experts warn that the US lacks the testing, contact tracing, and quarantining capabilities needed to bring and keep the pandemic under control, yet some states are already loosening their restrictions and allowing “nonessential” businesses to reopen.

Our churches are now facing a set of difficult decisions: when to resume in-person ministries and how to carry out these ministries safely.

I propose that the way forward is to take a step-by-step approach that helps …

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