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A Peace You Can Feel in 4 Simple Steps

peace

Peace, be still in my heart.

peaceThere have been moments in my life where I could feel the presence of peace. Sometimes, I sensed it when worry was suddenly replaced with calm. Sometimes, I feel enveloped in it like a coat. And, other times, it’s like fresh oxygen and I breathe much easier.

Yesterday, I felt it again. I was sitting in my car (as I often do to milk whatever kid-free time I’m returning home from) and I felt calm, then joy. Things have been working out in ways I couldn’t have planned, and I know that it’s God fulfilling His Word in my life.

As I began to bask in God’s presence, I realized that what I was feeling was similar to how I felt when my oldest daughter had a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. And I wondered, how many other women struggle to feel at peace.

I’d like to share with you my story and 4 things I believe prepared me for sweet encounters with peace:

1. Expect God to help you transition.

success

Sometimes, us women-folk can agonize about a not-so-ideal situation like nobody’s business. We wrap guilt and shame and worry around our necks like a cloak, all while complaining that it’s too hot. The energy we put into fighting what has to happen (e.g. for me, returning back to the workplace) is time we could spend ironing out the details.

My husband and I recently agreed that it would be best for me to go back to work. I didn’t love the idea, but I knew that it was necessary. So, I accepted that we needed additional income and began putting my energy into finding a job I would enjoy, and a daycare I could trust. I believed God would help me transition from 16-months as a stay-at-home-mom to going back to work. And, now that I realize the amount of debt we can eliminate with my salary (and I found a daycare that I love!), I’m ecstatic to return to work.

I couldn’t have predicted that outcome a few weeks ago. But, you don’t have to see the 2nd floor to take the 1st step.

2. Trust God to work it out in your favor.

call jesusDetermination and persistence are your best friends. When I chose a car seat, I wanted one that I thought was safe (and cute!). My husband wanted one that was safe (and cheap!).

Do you see our dilemma? Did I whine when he flat out vetoed the car seat I had (secretly) fallen in love with? Yes, I did. But, then I said, “Girl, hush all that whining and search the ends of the earth (Amazon & Google) until you find one that you both feel good about.” Did it take more time and effort? Sure. But, now she’s riding in a car seat that’s beautiful, safe and affordable.

Some of your situations will be as trivial as the search for a car seat, and some will be more serious – but the lesson still applies. Ever heard of the persistent widow? (Luke 18:1-8)

When you know that God’s got your back, in every area of your life, why give up after a few empty tries? Keep praying. Keep walking forward.

3. Listen with your heart.

hear god's voiceI picked out my daughter’s daycare months ago, so when I was offered a job, I went in just to do a run-through, meet her teachers, etc. Quite a few things were not to my liking, but I was running out of time; most places had year-long waiting lists, and I had already told my husband the price, so anything higher was going to cause him to raise a few eyebrows. What am I going to do?

So, I met up with my BFFs – Persistence and Determination, and that day I called 5 daycares and found 2 that had open spots.  Of course, the one I loved was the most expensive. Fix it, Jesus! So, I prayed the prayer of my life and called my husband. He told me to keep looking, LOL! The one I loved had another location nearby and something (God) told me to call and check the prices.

Not only did they have an open space, but they were also incredibly sweet, within walking distance from my new job and $80 cheaper! This isn’t luck, Team. This is called being a part of the royal family. And, royalty always gets all the perks! You just have to know how to listen.

4. Pray before, during, and after.

pray

Staying prayed up will keep you from being stressed and pressed when trouble comes. For almost a decade, I prayed for my children to be cultured. My husband relocated us to Guam when my daughter was 2. And, my baby girl was born there and now we all have Chamorro, Filipino, and Asian aunties, uncles, and cousins all over the world.

My husband and I debated between spending money to come home for the holidays (which was very expensive) or travel the surrounding area for half the price. We wanted to seize the opportunity to travel on the other side of the world, but we also missed our families back in the States. Yes, we agonized over it.

Meanwhile, Guam had a 5K race every weekend, and one morning around midnight I decided I was going to run. I’m not a runner, ok? But, I just felt like I should go. Usually, I don’t stick around to see the winners get their medals or for the raffle drawing at the end, but this time I stayed until the grand prize drawing, which was 2 roundtrip tickets to anywhere United Airlines flew.

Guess what? Yes, I won!

That was the longest ride home ever! My husband couldn’t believe it. And, because I won, we were able to spend 7 days in Hong Kong and visit our families in the States a year later…right as my grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We spent almost 2 months with her before she passed away.

What if we had come home sooner and then couldn’t afford to return again when she became ill? What if I hadn’t been forced to resign from a job I loathed, hadn’t trusted God to supply me with not one, but TWO higher-paying jobs and didn’t have enough money to vacation in South Carolina for 2 months? What if I ignored the nudge to sign up for a 5K that night?

Prayer changes things.

So, what’s the play call?

“Worry about nothing, pray about everything.”

That worry scripture isn’t just something people say because they don’t want to hear you whine or because they’re just happy-go-lucky people.

There is power in our words and when we’re whining, we’re (usually) speaking the opposite of what we really want. “It’ll never work.” “I won’t get it.”

Those words (seeds) may get you some sympathy points or feed your sorrow, but they don’t produce the results you actually want. We have to take everything to God in prayer, and be ready to go when the Holy Spirit says something crazy like, “I know it’s midnight, but go ahead and sign up for that 5K that starts 5 hours from now.”  Say what, Holy Spirit?

But, look how beautifully it all worked out. Prayer isn’t just an emergency hotline. It will set you up to win peace in ways unimaginable. Let’s expect God to be God and we’ll see Him do the unthinkable in our lives.

3 Problems with ‘Adulting’ When God Says ‘Come as a Child’

come as a child

Come as a child, grown Christians.

come as a childI recall, some years ago, my electricity being turned off. I’d made an arrangement for an extension, but when the bill came due, I didn’t have the money to cover it.

I remember getting home from work one evening and walking into a dark apartment. It was almost 7:00 pm. I had planned to get home a little earlier, but I worked at a childcare center and we had a late pick-up after our six o’clock closing time. My cell phone served as my night light and all I could do was get ready for bed.

The next morning, as I got prepared for work, I searched my closet for something that didn’t need ironing. I went to work as usual and clocked in… then out as usual. On this day, my daddy called me. Well, hold on, my daddy called every day, but this day he asked questions.

After I answered and we said our “hellos”, he asked, “Are all your bills paid?” My daddy always seemed to know what was going on even if I hadn’t told him, hence his straight-forward questioning.

As I answered with a “no”, he waited for details. I let him know that my power was off, and his exact response was, “Man! Why didn’t you tell me?”

See, my daddy wasn’t upset that I couldn’t pay my bill on my own that month, he was upset that I didn’t go to him for help. He then said, “It costs me more to fix it after the fact than if you had just told me in the first place.”

Why didn’t I just ask my dad for the money? Y’all know why. Because I was trying to “adult”. I was supposed to be able to do it on my own… so I thought. Well, I was wrong.

Why Hide From God What He Already Knows?

come as a childSee, so often, we treat God the way I treated my daddy. We don’t tell Him, with the hope that we can fix it ourselves. The problem is, sort of like my dad, God already knows what’s going on.

Many times, He waits for us to come to Him, but there are always times when He asks us for details. And well, you know the rest, you may as well just tell Him at this point. Uh huh… ’cause, He already knows.

From what I have experienced with God, His reaction is much like my dad’s, in that, He is more concerned with why I didn’t just turn to Him first. Like that electricity bill, “it costs more to fix it after the fact…” God just wants you to trust Him to do it when the problem first arises. I’m sure you’ve noticed that when you try handling stuff yourself, it gets blown way out of proportion. Our mess-ups lead us further away from Him than we anticipated and we find ourselves in a power outage.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Please understand that God knows the magnitude of your issues before you take them on. Here are a few things to recall before you decide to “adult” and keep matters in your own hands instead of God’s:

  1. God never asked you to fight for yourself – let God fight for you. Why waste your energy on a battle that He already said He’d handle? “For the Lord, your God is he that goeth with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.” Deuteronomy 20:4
  2. God never called you your own shepherd – He wants to take care of you. Yeah, He does and it’s because you belong to Him. “Wherefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?” Matthew 6:30
  3. God doesn’t make His children earn provision – He will give you the help you need. No matter what it is, trust Him with your problems, your issues, even your successes. “For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” Isaiah 41:13

I know we set ourselves up sometimes. We really believe we can handle stuff on our own. But this time, please, let God foot the bill.

Good Math: The Real Secret to Forgive Seventy Times Seven

forgive seventy times seven

Be Forgiving and Multiply.

counterWhen I was a kid, one of my favorite non-toy toys was my Mom’s handheld counter. I don’t know if I liked the clicking noise, how that noise aggravated others lol, or if I simply enjoyed the anticipation of seeing the next number appear.

Maybe it was the thrill of victory to see how fast I could reach 1000, or maybe it was the agony of defeat. See, oftentimes, my thumb got tired and threw up the white flag by pressing the reset button, spiraling the numbers all the way back to 0000.

Back then, I could think of one really good reason to avoid that reset button and start the count all over again – when keeping count of forgiving somebody 490 times, as Jesus said.

Jesus did say that, right?
But, is that what He meant?

How Much Wrong is Forgivable?

beating yourself upHave you been feverishly counting the number of times someone offends you, ready to cut them off at 491? “Sorry, your forgiveness card has expired.”

When reading Matthew 18:21-22 KJV, it’s easy for our child-like minds to wonder, “Umm, Jesus, do you think we could lower the cap on forgiveness a little bit?” Or, perhaps, “Jesus, how do I keep track of 490 wrongs?”

Team, it’s time for us all to stop approaching forgiveness like a child and put away childish things (1 Corinthians 13:11).

There’s a way for mature followers of Christ to intentionally honor Jesus’ play call for forgiveness, without the need for mechanical counters or tally sheets.

How?

It’s Not the Wrongs that Count

Sorry, Team. We’ve been approaching 490 the “wrong” way – by counting the “wrong” things. What’s the “right” way to approach this notion of 490?

One of the devil’s oldest tricks in the book is to keep us stuck, distracted, and unproductive by using our past hurts. Unforgiveness in the dark corners of our heart festers like mold. It breeds bitterness that infects our purpose, our gifts, and renders our anointing ineffective because we’re so broken.

But, here’s the secret to 490. Whenever the enemy presents the pain, the anger, the trauma of offense caused by someone in your life – do the right thing and forgive them – again, and again, and again, and…

Because I can guarantee you – the enemy won’t stop at 1.

Don’t believe me?  You’ll be minding your own business and what they did will surface in your spirit out of nowhere – “I forgive you” #1. Years will pass and you’ll meet someone who reminds you of that person who hurt you – “I forgive you” #184.  You’ve experienced heartache so deep that you have recurring dreams about what they said to you – “I forgive you” #227, #228, #229!

Get the picture?

With every thought, tantrum, or trigger – Jesus encourages us to do it one more time, forgive!

And, God understands that all of His children are different.

Depending on your thought life and your willingness to forgive, it may take telling your heart 490 times, “Forgive them.”  Perhaps in the 50’s, your forgiveness is kicking and screaming. By the 100’s, you’ve stopped plotting revenge, but it still hurts. And, by the 300’s or 400’s?  No, the offense is no more pleasant than Day 1. But, there’s a peace that surpasses your understanding. A simple reminder that you have forgiven him or her is all it takes. Whatever your forgiveness journey looks like, God, who is Alpha and Omega, is with you from beginning to end.

So, what’s the play call?

Use God’s good math and count the “right” thing to do, not the “wrong” that has been done. Hand over the counter to God and direct the ledger towards yourself, not the one who hurt you.

Has God ever tallied the number of times He’s had to forgive us? Is any one of us walking around in jeopardy of being separated from God “if we mess up one more time”? God forbid.

Likewise, we are not called to count and ration our forgiveness. But, in the same manner in which God forgives us – numerous times and for much greater offenses – we forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32).

 

How will you use “good math” to forgive yourself and others?

The One Thing You Must Do This Labor Day

make rest a priority

No, I’ve Got It, God.

After an emotionally draining week, I finally sat down to write.

For two days, I tried everything I could to get inspired and put pen to paper.  My mind was cluttered, and it was like I was walking in a fog of confusion. I did Google searches and scanned my favorite inspirational blogs, frantically looking for something to kick my creativity into gear.

I spent hours sitting at the computer.  A blank screen stared back at me while the blinking cursor impatiently tapped its foot. I took my dog for several long walks to clear my mind. While she thoroughly enjoyed her extra time outdoors, the walks did nothing to help my writing process.

I checked my running list of blog ideas. Multiple potential posts had a good start, but as I re-read them to pick up where I’d left off, no words would come.

How can I be a writer with NO WORDS?

Waiting for the Fruit of My Future Labor

My article deadline stood over me like my 4th grade bully after school.  “God please help me”, I prayed!

That night, I got in the shower at 11 pm.  As I was washing away the frustrations of the day, the words cease from your labor came to mind.  Huh? Cease from your labor? “Is that a scripture, Lord?”  After quickly drying off, I googled the phrase and Hebrews 4:10 popped up.

Hebrews 4:10 (KJV):  For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God [did] from his.

Cease from my labor?  But Lord…I have a deadline!

As I continued to read the passage, the 4th chapter of Hebrews is summarized as follows:

God promised his people rest in the Book of Joshua.  Because of their disobedience and unbelief, they failed to receive what God had prepared for them.  The gift of rest through Jesus Christ is our promise today – IF we do not fall into the same example of disobedience and unbelief.

What a fitting and timely message as we celebrate Labor Day Weekend!

Put the Rest in Labor Day

Labor Day addresses the problem of working long hours with no time off:

  • How many of us are tied to our cell phones and work emails?
  • How many of us have plans to tackle yet another home improvement project?
  • Which one of you brought work home over Labor Day weekend?

While American society seems to glorify being busy, exhaustion should not be our end goal!

The passage in Hebrews 4 details God’s invitation for us to rest.

Rest is defined as a relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.

How many of us today are weary and disturbed because of our hectic lives and busy schedules? How many of us are exhausted?

I was wearied, troubled, and disturbed because I missed my deadline.  I totally ignored God’s invitation to let go of my stress and attempted to operate in my own strength. Pride caused me to think that I could find the inspiration to write within my own power.

You’re Invited to God’s Rest Party!

rest party

God’s invitation to rest is an honor and a privilege. When we RSVP in pride – i.e. I can handle everything that life throws at me – we are rejecting God’s invitation to His Rest Party.  Pride tricks us into believing that our strength and know-how is just as capable as God’s!

Say “Yes” to God’s invitation to rest.

When we don’t rest, we are walking in unbelief.  We don’t trust in God’s power and ability to handle our circumstances.  We make the mistake of thinking that, if we take a day off, the whole world will fall apart.

This is not the truth!

Rest in the Lord, and trust God to handle every concern and priority on your heart.  Our minds can rest as we meditate on God’s Word and remember his promises.  He wants us to rejoice in his presence as we still our thoughts and worship him.

Psalms 46:10 reminds us to be still and know that He is God.  As we recognize His power and authority, it becomes clearer that God is in control.

So, what’s the play call? 

The one thing you must do this Labor Day is very simple and is summed up in one word:

REST.

Have a great Labor Day, Teammates!

8 Quick Exercise Solutions When You’re Pressed For Time

exercise

If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.  Ecclesiastes 11:4 (TLB)

A Time to Exercise?

exerciseAre you waiting for the perfect season, non-busy week, or ideal day to begin a fitness routine?  Have you found yourself in Scarlett O’Hara’s shoes saying, you “will think about it tomorrow?”  

Life is busy.  No one will deny that.  But, the people who make progress are the people who take steps – today!  They don’t wait for their child’s football season to end or the work project to be completed.  Instead, they take a step today.  Big or small, they take a step.   

One common obstacle to making exercise actually happen is that we create an image of what it looks like.  We believe that it needs to be done in a certain place for a specific time on a designated day.  Maybe you envision working out at a gym as your idea of true exercise.  Maybe you see yourself walking 3 miles with a neighbor after work.  

These are great forms of exercise, but sometimes it might need to look different.  

Routines can be quite beneficial and such repetitive behavior helps strengthen habits. But, what about those crazy days when a meeting interrupts gym time OR the weather won’t cooperate OR our workout gear is MIA or in the laundry basket?  

All is not lost!  You don’t have to surrender to a cascade of challenges.  But, it is helpful to have a list of activities that will get you up and moving, even if time is sparse.  

Exercise Tips for a Tight “Time” Budget

Here are a few ideas:

1. Walk and Talk.

Can you plan a walking meeting? Can you get up and move while talking with your manager on your speakerphone?  Maybe you can grab your co-worker and take a walk around the building or nearby trail.  Walk the stairs or different floors if the weather does not permit an outdoor stroll.  Essentially, start thinking about how you can insert more movement into your day.

2. Quick Workout DVD or Online Routine.

If you can’t make it to the gym, maybe you can pull out an old workout DVD to do at home. There are dozens of online workouts that are only 10-15 minutes in length – just a click away!  When you’re in a time crunch, you can make the most of the time you do have.  Don’t focus on what you CAN’T DO, focus on what you CAN DO.  

3. Add a Few Extra Steps to Regular Activities.

If you are running an errand, can you park at the opposite end of the shopping center?  If you are arriving home from work, can you walk around the block before you walk in the door?  If you are pulling up to Bible Study, can you walk to the end of the road and back before entering the door?  If you are headed to the bathroom at work, can you use the stairs to go 1 or 2 floors up?  Consider your typical daytime and evening routines, and then choose 1 or 2 ways you can add in more steps without adding more stress.  

4. Turn on Some Dancing Music.

When there is a good beat, who doesn’t want to move?  Turn up the beat and get your groove on!  Did you know that the average 150-pound person will burn 50-100 calories with 15 minutes of moderate dancing!?  That’s a whole lot more than the 15-20 calories you burn standing or sitting… like 3-5 times more!

5. Try a High-Intensity Interval Training.

This type of exercise is proven to give you excellent results in less time!  It is defined by a series of intense exercise bursts followed by a period of recovery. The ACSM has actually created a printable 7 Minute HIIT Circuit workout you can post anywhere or easily access on your phone or computer.

6. Walk While Waiting for Your Kids at Ball Practice.

We have all seen it – those parents sitting on the sidelines furiously scanning social media, answering emails, and wasting time while their child finishes up ball practice. Be different. Go walk or jog while your child is training.

7. Keep a Resistance Band in your Office or Car.

A resistance band is a great strength training alternative that can be scrunched up in luggage, a drawer, a car glove compartment, or even a purse. This ACE printable perfectly demonstrates 12 exercises and proper form so that you can use a resistance band whenever you have a few free minutes to spare.

8. Refuse to Sit While Watching TV.

If exercise is a struggle to work into your days, insert it during TV time. Commit to moving if the television is on.

Find what works for you

exerciseWhen a work schedule changes, when a child begins a new extracurricular activity, or when responsibilities at church or a community group are added, it often requires us to re-evaluate how to continue to prioritize exercise.  If you aren’t healthy and energized, your mental, emotional, and physical energy will suffer.

But, as shown above, it can look different, unique, and atypical.  Sometimes it might need to be short, but intense.  Sometimes it might need to be those last 15 minutes while dinner finishes cooking in the oven.  Other times, it might need to be during your meet-up with a friend.  You have a brilliant mind full of creative energy to design new and fresh ways to get moving!  

Not only will you experience a wealth of benefits from consistent exercise, but research has shown that general activity level throughout the entire day may reduce early death. That’s right, simply getting up to move more and sitting less may help you live longer!!

According to the World Health Organization, physical inactivity is the 4th leading cause of global mortality. WHO also claims that physical inactivity is estimated as being a cause of:

21% of breast cancer
25% of colon cancer
27% of diabetes
30% of ischaemic heart disease

Many people find that a fitness tracker helps them stay aware of their daily movement and motivates them to get up and move more frequently.  This can be especially helpful for those who find it difficult to follow a consistent exercise or fitness routine.  If your season in life presents a lot of crazy, busy days with inconsistent schedules, using a tracking method may be an excellent solution for you!

So, what’s the play call?

Your body is the only vehicle you have to walk out YOUR amazing destiny.  If you decide to neglect it, today, tomorrow, or next week, the length and quality of your days may dwindle.  

We are called to steward that which we have been given dominion over.  We are called to a higher level of living than the world.  We are called to look different – to be salt and light. If the Team forgoes attention to the physical body, we will lack the endurance to run our race with perseverance.  

Will you have what it takes?
Which exercise tip will you commit to trying?

Choose God’s Call Over Your Comfort Zone

comfort zone

God is Calling All Comfort Zone Exiles

comfort zoneSo, I was watching Moana, yes, the animated film. Why? Because, it was on television and well, who doesn’t love a good Disney flick? Mmmkay. So, Moana was “chosen” by the water to leave home in order to break a curse and save her people. Yeah… I know… but stay with me.

Well, her father was so afraid of his past experiences and of what could happen to her that he forbids her to go. Not only does he tell her she can never leave the island, but he gives her important jobs to occupy her mind and time. And, you know what? She is really good at these other jobs, but they aren’t what she is called to do.

There were many times that Moana attempted to leave the island in hopes of doing what was required of her, but the attempts never worked. She even let her father talk her out of it and decided to just settle into the role she was given.

Your Assignment Can Only Be Completed By You

comfort zoneHave you seen the movie? If so, you know what came from that and if not, well, eventually she couldn’t take it anymore and she answered “the call”. Not without problems or opposition, but she answered.

You see, the thing about being called is that you can’t get away from it. Sure, you can hide in your comfort zone and try to ignore it, but it will soon nag at you so much that you must either live up to it or be tortured by it.

So many times we get afraid of ourselves and who we are to truly become that we deny what we know of ourselves. **insert a Godsend here** Moana’s grandmother explains to her that what she is called to do, nobody else can do. Basically… if she doesn’t do it, it won’t get done.

Here’s the thing, what you are called to do, nobody else can do. You may have heard this before, I may have even told you this before, but it’s true. And, you know what else? There will always be people who will try to talk you out of your calling, it may even be your closest family members. “Maybe you should try something a little easier.” “You would be great in the choir.” “That may be too risky.” And more stuff “people” say to get you to stay comfortable where you are. Many times, their only reasoning will be because it didn’t work for them.

So, What’s the Play Call?

It will be so tempting to just stay put in your comfort zone, but that isn’t where you belong. You must be willing to answer that call even if it takes you away from home. Abram was called by God to leave his country and everything he knew. Had he not followed instructions, what would have happened… or not happened? If you don’t follow instructions, what will happen… or not happen? Before you answer, here are a few things to consider before you ignore your calling:

  1. You must answer the call in order to gain the blessing. “And I will make thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great, and thou shalt be a blessing:”
  2. I’m sure I’ve said this before, but God knew you before anybody else… including your parents. He knows everything about you, including the fact that, with Him, you got this. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee, and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
  3. Even at your weakest point, God is strong for you. Rely on His strength. “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
  4. With God, you got this. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

Answer. You cannot afford to stay where you are.

Got Premarital Jitters? Here are 4 Reflections from a 10-Year Union

premarital jitters

Are Premarital Jitters Holding You Back from Marriage?

premarital jittersRecently, my husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary with a vow renewal before friends and family. It was a beautiful ceremony and celebration. As we reflected on our past years, we remembered taking the step to get married while others scoffed at our decision. We were young in age, young spiritually, financially growing, and in the process of life. People said we should wait until we had more. But, we were more concerned about being right in the eyes of God than abiding by the opinions of man. We loved each other and were willing to take on the challenges of natural growth.

Regarding marriage, the Bible says that a man is to leave his parents and be united with his wife (Genesis 2:24). It didn’t say they needed a certain amount of money, education, or social status. My husband and I were working adults who no longer lived with our parents. We didn’t make six figures, but who said we had to?

Now here we are, ten years later and still married. God truly gets all the glory! Sure, we’ve had sunshine and world wars. Like any other marriage, we were faced with challenges, but we survived because of our God.

Marriage is a serious step, and should not be entered into lightly. It is wise to consider matters like finances, growth, goals, and such. But, those are not the only matters to think about. We must prioritize the Word of God above natural securities.

You may be thinking about marriage and facing this very dilemma with premarital jitters.  If so, here are a few essential points that may help your premarital process.

1. Seek Godly Counsel.

I encourage every couple to receive godly counsel from their spiritual leader before marriage. The Bible says in Proverbs 19:20 that it is wise to receive instruction and counsel. Godly counsel can keep you from making decisions informed by the flesh. Each union is different, and your spiritual leader may have insight from God concerning your path.

2. Don’t Sin While You Wait.

Society has shaped how people view marriage, and it has begun to influence the church. I come in contact with many Christian couples who are delaying their marriage for finances, school, family, careers, etc. However, they are NOT delaying the union of their bodies. Despite popular belief, fornication is still a sin in the eyes of God. God’s word will never change. We must conform to the Word because the Word will never adapt to us.

Let’s be real with one another – the Bible speaks about the “burn” of passion between lovers (1 Corinthians 7:9). It’s not that easy to abstain from sex, especially when you are strongly attracted. Sex is not a sin; it’s just like driving – it requires a license.

Sex is always a sensitive subject, but that’s why we must talk about it. I don’t mind pointing out the things people find uncomfortable. I believe that the devil has used the silence of the church to win many battles. There is a great need for people to declare truth from the mountain top, even if it ruffles the feather of others.

3. Marriage is Obedience, Not Deliverance.

Some people view marriage like they do salvation. They assume that once they get married, all their problems will disappear. Like the myth “when I get saved, all of life’s struggles will be over”, marriage will not “cure” what ails you. If you enter marriage with outstanding issues of lust, discipline, anger, greed, a poverty mindset – saying “I do” will not heal you.

Marriage is not deliverance. If someone needs deliverance and healing, they must seek that from God. Your spouse can cover you in prayer and support your healing journey, but you must do the work.

4. Individual Submission to God is Essential.

One thing that we have learned is that a marriage works best when both the husband and wife are submitted to God. It is imperative that both seek to know and grow in God individually first and then together. God will be the power that will hold them faithful to one another.

The reality is this: man is too fickle. We waver and change. We love and despise in the same day. But, if a couple is submitted to God, they will both look to God in their decisions. They will seek to please God by yielding themselves to the leading of the Spirit.

When God is the foundation of marriage, forgiveness, love, holiness, righteousness, and every good work is possible. That won’t remove the struggles and obstacles. It means that both the husband and wife will choose the same route of escape, Jesus. In the end, they will find themselves unified under the same door.

SO, WHAT IS THE PLAY CALL?

The Bible says marriage is honorable in all (Hebrews 13:4). As long as it fits the design of God, it is good. Having a bank account, advanced degrees, and any other natural achievement will not exempt any marriage from challenges. If that were the case, the wealthy and educated would not get divorces. But we all know that’s not true.

Paul asked it best, “Are you seeking the approval of man or God” (Galatians 1:10)? The Bible talks about the “commandments of men” (Matthew 15:9). All of these worldly prerequisites of marriage are simply commandments of men. If you and your future spouse want to wait to have your affairs in order, that is your personal decision – but it’s not a commandment from God. While you wait, live righteously. Abstain from fornication and any other poor choice that displeases God.

If you are considering marriage, don’t allow society and people to dictate your actions. Do what pleases God and grow together. I have found that it makes a strong bond. Years down the road, you can sit back and look at the kingdom you two built together in God.

I hope this helps you.

I love you all.

 

Diet Trends: 4 Questions to Determine the Best Way to Eat for Your Body

diet trends

Behind the Latest Diet Trends

diet trendsIs keto a fad diet or a low-carb healthy eating plan?  Well really, it depends on who you ask. Talk with people who have changed their lives following this eating style and have been adhering to it religiously for 3 years. They will tell you it is a healthy eating plan. But, for the majority, it is just another diet trend.   

If you are not working with a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist, how do you know if any ‘rave’ diet plan is the right one for you? What constitutes a healthy eating plan?

To some, healthcare professionals sound like a broken record with their consistent talk about ‘healthy lifestyles,’ ‘moderation,’ and ‘sustainable eating patterns’.  And unfortunately, these vague terms can leave eager individuals feeling confused about what that really looks like. If we are honest, these concepts don’t give off a sexy vibe or the promise of immediate results as many trending diets claim.

Healthy Eating is Personal

healthy eatingSo, how are you to decipher what is the best way to eat for your body? Well, James would recommend we start by asking the God of the universe.  He’s the Creator of all things good, including our taste buds.

If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you, for he is always ready to give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask him; he will not resent it. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you, for a doubtful mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” James 1:5-6

Here is something you should know – creating a healthy eating and lifestyle plan will require some evaluation and execution. It might, no it will feel hard at times.  But, you know you are on the right track if the small but strategic steps you are taking are creating a lifestyle that nourishes your body and soul.  

Resist the urge to follow a diet or eating style that feels like torture and demands all your energy so you have little left to invest in the people and causes you love most. 

These are a few questions to ask yourself as you evaluate whether the latest diet trend is one worth pursuing:

1. Am I looking for a diet to heal my broken relationship with food?

Self-imposed food restrictions, diet rules, and meticulously kept food logs will not heal your relationship with food. These are temporary ways we try to regain control over an area that feels out of control. 

You have to commit to doing the internal work emotionally, mentally and spiritually in order to change the way you relate to food. There is absolutely a benefit to changing food behaviors and our environment, but transformation begins by surrendering control and renewing our mind (Romans 12:2). 

2. Can my family participate in this eating plan with me?  

No one wants to make two meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner – that sounds exhausting! When considering an eating plan, ask yourself whether this diet would be suitable for all of your family members. What about your pre-teen daughter who is beginning to become body conscious? Or your athletic teen who needs fuel for practice and games?  

Can you continue to expose your toddler to a wide variety of foods to combat picky eating while following this specific food plan?  Meals happen 3-5 times per day, every day, so choosing an eating plan that works for everyone will save you time, money, and hassle.

It really is possible to construct an eating plan that fits your entire family.  While your family members may have slightly different food preferences, the idea is to create an eating plan that works for everyone, maybe with a few modifications here and there.  

The research behind family dinners will keep you diligently gathering your favorite people around the kitchen table for a warm meal and quality connection.  In fact, family meals increase the consumption of healthful foods, reduces risks for eating disorders, fends off risky behaviors like doing drugs, and may even lead to improved grades in the classroom!   

3. What do I believe about my body right now, and do I expect this diet to change that?

Your body is good! It’s beautiful, wonderful, and complex.  It is good to care for what God has created – that’s called stewardship.  But it is harmful to tell ourselves lies that we must conform to a body image or standard in order to ‘be good.’  Your health and weight are not moral issues.

You don’t have to follow an eating pattern for two weeks in a row to ‘be good.’  You aren’t ‘bad’ when you eat dessert when you are not hungry. That is shame talk. Shame says I am not good enough as I am right now and I have to make myself into a better version to be loved, accepted and valued.  That’s not truth.

Truth says you are amazing (Psalm 139:14)!  Truth says you can do nothing to earn love- you don’t need to. Knowing your position as Beloved allows you to accept the fullness of love and then give it in return.  

We are commanded to love God and love our neighbor as we love ourself (Mark 12:29-31). It begins with a love relationship with our Creator. Then, this very scripture reminds us that we can only love people really well when we love ourselves – all of us – body, soul, and spirit.  

It is good to pursue wellness through whole food meals, movement, and healthy food behaviors.  We should consider the consequences of poor lifestyle choices. It is good to cook with our kids and model smart food choices.  But, regardless of whether you do any of this or not, you are valuable.

4. Are diets ever good or beneficial for me?  

In my experience, many individuals don’t know what it looks like to set up boundaries with food.  When I establish a play area boundary for my children to keep them out of the road, it’s not to punish or deprive.  It is so that they can enjoy life and thrive.   

The focus of setting some personal boundaries or guidelines with food isn’t about demonizing certain foods. Instead, personal boundaries help identify how we want to engage with food and behaviors we know will be life-giving in the long run.  The purpose is not to shame or punish our body into submission. That isn’t the heart of God for His children.  

Food combining, keto, vegan, … Are you feeling lost in the rules, deprived by the restrictions, and confused by the research? Your Heavenly Father most wants to see you walking in the freedom He has given you.  

Whatever form of eating plan you choose, it should feel right for your body.  Some people aren’t entirely sure what this is and that is okay. Most of us are still learning what this looks like!  It’s the perfect time to ask more questions and listen to your body. Reach out to a Registered Dietitian or a trusted healthcare practitioner. They might be exactly what you need to create a realistic eating and healthy living plan in line with your values, lifestyle, and health goals.

So, What’s the Play Call?

It’s not about arriving. It’s about becoming. Decide to walk through the process and ask God to refine you, speak truth into dark places, and renew your relationship with food. 

Let’s not pretend – discipline and commitment are necessary to move towards any goal in life, including health and wellness. But I guarantee if you are looking for solutions to improve your weight, health, and energy, diets will leave you feeling half-empty – and they work for less than 10% of individuals anyway.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)

 

Give Me a Clean Heart – Washed, Not Swept

give me a clean heart

God’s White Glove Treatment

I was never allergic to carpet. I just always loved a great, shiny hardwood floor.

After years of non-refunded rental deposits in our family’s early days – because the kids’ Kool-Aid stains just wouldn’t come out – our decision was final. We’ll never return to a house with that wall-to-wall stuff again.

With hardwoods, cleaning is a breeze! Just give me a broom with perfectly slanted bristles so I can easily clean the hard-to-reach places in the corners. And, whatever you do, make sure the dustpan sits perfectly flush against the floor, so all the dust goes into the pan, and no loose dust bunnies slide underneath.

And, just like that, clean as a whistle!

Or is it?

You’re Not Fully Clean, Unless…

give me a clean heartHave you ever wiped a “clean-looking” floor with a wet cloth, only to find the cloth filthy with dirt?

Like, where in the world did all of that dirt come from?

The room smells fragrant, all items are well-organized, no junk or disarray anywhere. Yet, with a little water and a single wipe – you get a very different perspective of an otherwise “spotless” room.

What about this… have you ever washed your “clean” hands and, to your surprise, watched dirty bubbles roll down the drain?

Let’s face it. Dirt simply has a way of catching us all off guard. We can’t always see it, smell it, or reach it. We don’t always recognize it when we’re looking right at it. But, there below the surface of our perceptions, judgments, and so-called “neat freak” tendencies – dirt lurks in the shadows, unbothered and growing, well, dirtier.

Who’s Afraid of THE Water?

That’s why our prayer, Team, mirrors that of King David in Psalm 51 when it comes to our “fleshy” heart and sinful nature. Aren’t you grateful that when we ask God to have mercy on us and cleanse us from our sins, He gives us 100% effort using the BEST technique?

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin.

God doesn’t reach for a broom when our hearts are filthy. He wouldn’t risk us choking on all the dust that stirs up.

No, there’s a better way – His son, Jesus! The fountain of living water springing up to eternal life (John 4:14). No sin is too dirty or beyond the reach of Living Water.

If God left the clean-up up to us, we’d miss a spot or two! We’d grade our sin on a curve. We’d either grow weary in our cleaning or begin to justify why dirt is good – Lord, help us! Give me a clean heart!

So, What’s the Play Call?

Want God to give you a clean heart? Surrender the cleaning of your life to God – let Him wash all of those hard to reach places (Psalm 51:2).

As followers of Christ, we have the unbelievable privilege to make a mess, turn away from that mess (repent), and watch God clean up the situation. The pressure is off you, Team, to make things better. That’s God’s lane. Allow Him to begin and complete a good work in you (Philippians 1:6) as your life is washed in the blood of Jesus.

Once you’re washed and squeaky clean, obediently nurture truth and wisdom in your heart (Psalm 51:6) and honor the Father’s work to make you whole again. And, don’t forget to share your testimony with someone else. Tell them what a difference the Living Water, Jesus Christ, makes!

 

Faith Moves: Let God’s Word Lead You in Faith, Not the Flesh

walk by faith

You have faith, but are you in faith?

walk by faithYes, the Bible says that God will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4). We go after these desires, but are we operating in faith? Some of our pursuits can be ill-timed or risky, but under the guise of faith, we keep pushing forward.

I think there is a misconception that we can be successful in anything if we believe, but what exactly is success?

There are people who invest in different things, move to new cities, leave their jobs – believing God for favor in these ventures and hoping for the best. I believe God wants us to realize that while you can have faith, it doesn’t mean you’re in faith.

In whom or what have you put your faith?

To an extent, yes, faith is “blind” trust – but in whom or what? Is your faith in God or your resume? Is your faith in God or your wealth?

Faith comes by hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17). If you are stepping out to do something without first having a word from God, then your faith isn’t in Him, it’s in your own ability. Don’t misunderstand, we do need faith in ourselves because there are many things we’re called to do that can seem too big for us. However, God is the source of our power and might.

Psalm 139:16 says that every day of our lives was written in His book, and every day was laid out before a single day passed. So, we ought to be sure that the things we put faith in and work toward are a part of His plan. Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans of a person’s heart but only Gods purposes will prevail.”

God’s Word Precedes Great Faith

In the Bible, every act of Great faith was preceded by a Word from God. Hebrews 11 lists many examples of these, one of which was Abraham. God spoke to Abram and told him to leave his home, leave all his relatives and go to a land that He would show him (Genesis 12). Abram didn’t even know where he was going, but after receiving the word of God, he acted.

Some of us just move because we want a fresh start in a new place, and we put faith in our ability to make a living after we get there. Doing something on a whim is reckless even when you have a plan. That probably seems like an extreme statement for many, but if God planned our lives in advance, anything we do outside of His word (or will) is not being done in faith.

You’ll know you’re in faith if you’re dependent on God every step of the way because only He knows how to get you where you’re going.

Come back inside faith.

back on trackThank God for His grace! There have been so many things I’ve done outside of faith before I knew Him. It made me worry that perhaps it would take me that much longer to get back on track. I used to wonder how far from God’s will I had gotten while pursuing my own desires.

I want to encourage everyone that God in His infinite wisdom knew exactly where we would be when we came into understanding. God will restore our years (Joel 2:25). Think about the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. He foolishly took his inheritance, left home, spent frivolously on his desires and ended up in a pigpen. At his lowest point, he came to himself and returned home. Even though he was willing to take a servant position in his father’s house just to be able to eat, his father welcomed him with celebration and he was restored.

Hear God above yourself.

Since faith comes by hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17), we have to determine what ideas are from God and which are not. Your relationship with the Holy Spirit will be indicative of your discernment of His voice. This is so vital for us because the Bible says it is impossible to please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6).

I have written on learning to hear God’s voice in a previous article, but one quick tip I will give here is that our spirit is the lamp of the Lord (Proverbs 20:27). God will lead you through the spirit. So, how do you know if what you hear is from the spirit or from your own mind? Hebrews 4:12 says that the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword dividing soul and spirit. Start with the Word and you will develop your ear for God’s voice.

Remember, we walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). I looked up the word walk in the Strong’s Concordance app and the Greek word is Peripateo which means to live, follow, to be occupied with. So, we ought to live by faith, follow by faith and be occupied with faith. This takes practice and intentionality – it’s not always easy while being in the flesh and trying to remain open to hearing God’s word. That’s why Paul tells Timothy to fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:12). We must contend for the faith and seek after it daily.

So, what’s the play call?

If you have any big decisions to make, open your heart and ears to God before you act to be sure you’re operating in faith. Remember that faith comes by hearing the word and that without it, you cannot please God!

Be blessed!

 

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