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Dear Kelly Price: Open Letter on Church Bigotry and Hate

kelly price

For readers unfamiliar with the background of this story, please read here and here; view Ms. Price’s public videos one, two, three, and four.

Dear Ms. Price,

First, thank you for the invitation and willingness to use your platform for a public discussion on church bigotry and hate.  As one of Christ’s representatives, and as a contender for the faith, I likewise welcome the discussion.

Please allow me to start off with an apology for the Body of Christ. If someone or persons in the Church hated on or spoke ill of you, disrespected you, or intentionally embarrassed you – that’s not how we’re supposed to conduct ourselves as Christians. We are sorry, please forgive those individuals.

A few points as you read:

  • I will use “the Church” and “the body of Christ” interchangeably.
  • My use of scripture is not to lambast, unfairly judge, or appear “holier than thou”. The Word of God is the Church’s playbook; we respect the Bible as our manual to teach, correct, guide, and instruct how we are to live.
  • To our knowledge, the public only has access to statements by Ms. Price and the Indiana Black Expo (IBE) – no statements from those accused of “church bigotry and hate” have surfaced. Our letter will ask many questions and make conditional statements in hopes to hear from those presently missing from the discussion (e.g. the Gospel Explosion emcee, other church leaders, or attendees).

Let’s chat…

Questions for Kelly Price

  1. Have you or your team reached out to the Gospel Explosion emcee or others to share your hurt and anger, dialogue one-on-one, hear each others’ heart? If not, do you have plans to? In retrospect, was it a good idea to leave the stage in anger, hop on social media with the story – before speaking 1:1 with those who offended you?

kelly price tweet

  1. If you “didn’t know” you were on the gospel stage, is it possible the emcee also “didn’t know” or expect to hear a song about adultery? As you were doing “what you were asked to do”, is it possible the emcee was doing “what she was asked to do” – manage the flow and expectations of a gospel event? Was she and all attendees caught in the same awkward cross-hairs as you were?

kelly price tweet 2

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  1. Since the IBE has taken full responsibility for the mishap in scheduling that caused the confusion, do you still feel that leading with accusations of “church bigotry and hate” is warranted, or was it a rush to judgment amidst the hurt and anger?

ibe

  1. In your responses, you have concurred that As We Lay is inappropriate for a gospel event, and with knowledge, you could have “prepared better”. Have you since come to understand why “church folks” were so offended, shocked, explaining the situation to their children present, etc? Were you hurt and angry at the way in which they voiced their offense, or that they voiced their offense at all?
  1. As a preacher’s kid (PK) with 24 years of ministry to “expose what is not authentic”, do you truly believe your responses displayed the love of God, and that God was pleased with your ministerial approach? Do you believe there’s no responsibility or apology due on your part?

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Bigotry and Hate: Does the Church Give, Receive, or Both?

To discuss church bigotry, let’s first agree on what a bigot or bigotry is.

In reading the definitions, a key word – intolerance – stands out as a factor that makes bigotry undesirable. Intolerance is “unwillingness or refusal to respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc.” When a person is intolerant, he or she does not accept, is not patient with, does not allow or bear with something undesirable or unpleasant.

Let’s be honest. All of us are strongly partial to our own groups – look at our favorite sports teams, fraternities/sororities, houses of worship – we all have loyalties and preferences from which we won’t budge. We’re intolerant and uninterested in changing our tunes.

Is that bigotry?

There are also certain actions we won’t tolerate. We speak up when we feel disrespected, we fight back when we feel we’re in danger, we fire employees or hire new vendors when there’s incompetence.  We show no tolerance or acceptance.

Does that make us bigots?

Can the Church be intolerant, without being a bigot?

First, the Body of Christ is commissioned to love and be welcoming to all – whosoever will, let them come.

Likewise, the Church has a biblical duty to stand in agreement with God – if God is for it, we’re for it; if God is against it, we’re against it.

Please understand, one cannot bring just anything to the Church that’s out of the will or order of God, and expect tolerance and acceptance. The love the Church shows to others should never be confused with approval of that which is contrary to our beliefs. Just as the world stands proud and tall for what it believes, the Body of Christ will be bold, speak loud, and take a stand for the standards of Jesus Christ.

Does that make us bigots?

How Valid is Your Victim Card?

“You’re judging me.”  “Church folks are hating me.”

Here’s a major problem. Many people, both in and outside the Church, call “foul play” when someone speaks the truth according to God’s word. “Church folks are always judging!” When toes are stepped on, when conviction by the Holy Spirit occurs, human nature fights back, doesn’t it? Our flesh begins the blame game, the pity party, we deflect, we make excuses.

We rarely, if ever, run to the scripture where Jesus says,  “Judge fairly.” Nope. Our favorite go-to verse is the one we use (in isolation, out of context) to back folks up – “Don’t judge.”

It’s easier to attack the messenger (the Church) than the One who sent the messenger – God.

The question becomes: Are you angry with the Church, or with what God said?

Only in truth and authenticity can one answer this question for his or herself. God, who looks at our hearts, knows the truth and will lead us to it, if we’re willing to go.

If One Stinks, All Church Folks Stink

Just as you are one of many in your family, so is the Body of Christ. We are many members, from all walks of life, with our own issues, hang ups, sins, and life experiences.

What would it be like if an entire family was convicted and sent to prison for the crimes of Uncle Lenny?  “No! You’re a Smith too! All of you are Smiths, so all of you are guilty and will be punished!”

Pretty sad, right?

Are there hypocrites, bigots, haters in the body of Christ? Does Church bigotry and hatred happen? Sadly, yes.

No one can wear the label “Church” or “Christian” or “Pastor” as a get out of jail free card to mistreat people.  If anyone offends the least of these, you will give an account for your actions – we all will!  But we are also offered grace and forgiveness by faith in Jesus Christ!

Have you ever noticed –

EVERYONE has an “I’m not Perfect, God is Still Working on Me Card”
except church folks?!

Think about it.

Just as God loves you, and is “not through with you yet”, he’s working on each and every member of the Body of Christ too!

I can only imagine how the Gospel Expo emcee felt to be publicly accused as “the reason people won’t come to Jesus or church...”

Never hold the bad experience you had with one or a few as representing the entire Church – and then lambast “church folks”. What that can actually reveal is two things: 1) a search for a scapegoat – “I would go to church, but church folks will do you wrong!”; or 2) A trigger for unresolved, deep wounds that have once again resurfaced.

The “Church” didn’t hurt you, friends, an imperfect person who’s still in process in the Church did. In God’s love, there is peaceful and graceful resolution for everyone’s heart involved.

Do All Things in Love

Church, Ms. Price, All:  Let’s ask God to search, know, and heal our hearts:

God, we lay down our pretense, our status, our titles, our leadership positions, and ask that you help us do a better job at being living examples of Your Love. Help us to follow peace and be gentle with all whom we encounter. We don’t know their stories or what they’re dealing with, but You do. Give us kind hearts that feel for and empathize with each other. Please show us how to win back those who are hurting because one of your children missed the mark. Give us all hearts that forgive and are quick to give a another chance, just like our Father.

We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Thank you for hearing my heart; may healing discussions continue.

 

Update:

kelly price

Here is the response from Kelly Price (or her team/Mgmt).  After the tweet above, I was blocked. Surprised lol? Yeah, I am. We could’ve had a sisterly, PK discussion with the goal of us ALL healing our biases and doing better in the future.

Three reflections on this response and experience:

  1. It’s often easier to accuse “the church” than to face the church or yourself. When “the church” is the opponent, people will run to chime in and get their “lick” in, but are MIA to have real dialogue to promote healing and redemption.
  2. The body of Christ is not all talk, no action.  There are those on the team who will SHOW UP and stand objectively on the Word of God – it speaks to us all no matter who we are.
  3. Bias against the CHURCH is real. There are some who need to forgive “church folks” and “church” experiences, just as followers of Christ need to do a better job at showing love.

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Together 2016: Commissioned to Go Ye Therefore

It was one of the hottest days of the summer – for more than the obvious reasons.

On 7.16.16, Christians from all backgrounds, cultures, and ages gathered on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. to fervently pray for the nation, and petition Jesus Christ for a “reset”.

A free event presented in partnership with more than 250 Bible-believing organizations, Together 2016 featured an amazing line-up of more than 40 speakers, pastors, artists, and leaders. Notable participants included Hillsong United, Francis Chan, Sammy Rodriguez, Lecrae, Tedashii, Trip Lee, Andy Mineo, KB, Kirk Franklin, Ravi Zacharias, Lauren Daigle, Christine Caine, IF Gathering, and many more.

 

nick-hallNick Hall of PULSE, a prayer and evangelism movement, led the charge for Together 2016 to “lay down what divides us — politics, race, social issues, theological differences – to come together and lift up Jesus who unites us.  He is the only one who can reset our nation.” Reset    is a term that has been resonating with young people because it represents the clearing of past errors, as with various electronic devices; a reset gets the system working toward its created purpose.

Jesus is the Reset

After short praise and worship sets, each speaker or artist shared encouragement, the promises of God, and perhaps most importantly, the call to prayer and repentance. With hands lifted to the sky and voices crying out, participants answered the call of “If my people who are called by my name would humble themselves and pray; seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways…”  You could hear the cries of people around the National Mall, small groups of 5-10 people who arrived in Washington, D.C. as strangers, but would leave as new brothers and sisters in Christ.

policeHours into the event, the goal to make #JesusChangesEverything trend on social media was achieved, and the Internet took a slight reprieve from hashtags that represented the fallen. With our nation battling unjust killings of African-Americans and police officers alike, it was an amazing opportunity to speak with D.C. officers who had a heart to serve and protect the people.

Organizers spared no expense on the event, from the mammoth stage and jumbotrons, to air-conditioned VIP and Partners’ tents stocked with water and snacks. As partners of Together 2016, we appreciated the cool breaks and the chance to meet and network with other Christian organizations. Event volunteers and staff were both knowledgeable and easy-spirited, especially given the massive attendance and extremely muggy heat.

We’re hopeful organizers took note of the July temperatures, and will consider a spring or early fall date for the next event. Due to the heat index and hundreds of heat-related illnesses, Together 2016 was shut down hours earlier than expected. However, the commission of our Lord and Savior was heard, and participants were eager to go forth and fill their communities with the love of Christ.

 

Philando Castile’s Girlfriend, Diamond Reynolds, Released from Custody

Philando Castile’s girlfriend, who live-streamed the St. Paul police killing during a routine traffic stop on Facebook, speaks to reporters after her release this morning.

Mr. Castile was shot and killed as he reached for his driver’s licence, as shared by Ms. Reynolds in the video.

Today’s aftermath follows the death of Alton Sterling, who was shot dead by police outside a convenience store in Baton Rouge on Tuesday. Hundreds of people have protested for two nights over Mr Sterling’s killing.

The deaths follow a long line of high-profile fatalities involving African-Americans at the hands of the police, igniting a national debate about the use of lethal force.

Team, remember that faith without works is dead. Jesus calls for us to be one.  As one body, we call followers of Christ of ALL RACES to pay attention, step up, and speak out about these atrocities.

Team Jesus in the U.S.: Make sure you’re registered to vote. Hold your mayoral candidates accountable for the police chiefs they appoint and police policies they support.

Christian Mingle: Accommodate the LGBT Lifestyle, Or Pay Up!

gay rights

Move over siren-screeching ambulance – there’s a new lucrative target for lawyers to chase.

Last week, the Christian dating site, ChristianMingle.com, was ordered by a Superior Court judge in California to remove “man seeking woman” and “woman seeking man” options and accommodate same-sex searches on its site.  The lawsuit was filed in 2013 by two gay men against Spark Networks, Inc., the dating site’s owner.

According to the Wall Street Journal:

Christian Mingle, billed as the largest online community for Christian singles, required new users to specify whether they’re a man seeking a woman or a woman seeking a man. The lead plaintiffs, two gay men who tried using it, claimed that the limited options violated California’s anti-discrimination law.

Known as the Unruh Civil Rights Act, the state law requires “business establishments” to offer “full and equal accommodations” to people regardless of their sexual orientation.

Under the agreement, the gateway homepages now ask just whether a user is a “man” or a “woman.” Spark Networks agreed that within two years, it would adjust other searching and profile features to give gay and lesbian singles a more tailored experience.

Additionally, Spark Networks was ordered to pay a $9,000 service award to each plaintiff, and pay $450,000 to cover the plaintiffs’ attorneys’ fees.

“Love” Winning is Not Enough

Is gay rights about equal rights or special rights?

One could logically question whether the LGBT agenda is about “love” wins, or “love” whines.

Take note Christian businesses in California: In less than 0.45 seconds, a search for “gay dating site” on Google returns approximately 3.2 million search results.

3.2 Million.

Interesting how these 2 men were “harmed” while armed with a plethora of sites and apps to choose from.  And if none of the sites (unequivocally within their target market) interested them or showed any promise (very unlikely, no?), did they not have the freedom to start yet another?

Where’s the Protection for Christian Beliefs?

Perhaps the tides are turning and we’re seeing concrete, court-supported reverse discrimination and bullying against Christians’ religious beliefs.

Bible-believing Christians note that there are multiple references to homosexuality in either the Old or New Testament. A question to self-proclaimed gay Christians: Where is homosexual behavior ever held in a positive light, pleasing, praised, or deemed a desirable practice according to the Bible, our playbook? On the contrary, homosexuality is described as unnatural, an error, shameful, and grounds for not entering Heaven, along with many other sins.

It is within the Christian’s right to believe the Word of God, and subscribe to the Creator’s authority and plan for humanity – according to the order of male and female relationships, sexual relations, and reproduction.

It is within the Christian’s right not to engage in liberal theological disputes on Bible translations and interpretations purposed to find homosexuality loopholes. This practice is likened to the serpent’s manipulation and reasoning with Eve: “Did God really say don’t eat from every tree? You won’t surely die.”  Did God really mean to avoid homosexuality? Wasn’t that just culture, the times back then, sex with boys, Paul being over-opinionated? You won’t surely die.

It is within the Christian’s right to believe the Spirit of the Word, not just a single scripture, to base his or her beliefs that homosexuality is a sin for which Jesus Christ died, and forgiveness and a new life is available to all who repent and are born again.

Leave Christian Beliefs Out of Christian Businesses

Now, Christians are denied the right to honor these beliefs in their business endeavors. Why? Because those who live an unrepentant gay lifestyle demand so? Because the LGBT community contends that the mere act of holding or expressing these beliefs is an act of homophobia and hate?

Wouldn’t an understanding to “agree to disagree” or “take my business elsewhere” be more human, loving, and Christian-like, than:

Not only will you stop representing what the Word of God says about homosexuality in your business, your business WILL accommodate and be supportive of our lifestyle – or we’ll make you pay.”

It’s amazing how the two men were seemingly fighting for their right of “Christian” participation, but in the end, chose to do (again) what is frowned upon in scripture – Christians suing each other.  Perhaps the entire 6th chapter of 1 Corinthians is ignored or explained away – as it speaks against homosexuality and lawsuits between Christians. Go figure.

One can only wonder how many gay dating sites have been sued for not accommodating heterosexual single matches. I suspect society as a whole would find that odd.

Who’s Got Next? Pedophiles?

It’s only a matter of time before we’ll truly see where Pandora’s box will lead us. Remember decades ago? We didn’t have debates on what God intended for marriage, or encourage the creation to identify with a gender vs. accept the gender given by the Creator.

Likewise, today we don’t debate whether Christian Mingle violates a pedophile’s civic right to find “love” with children, or have our children “self-identifying” with a certain age vs. their age as determined by date of birth. Thank God.

Be sober and vigilant, Team, as even more perilous times are coming.  Will pedophiles capitalize on the sexual orientation precedents set by the LGBT community? In 20 years, could we have humans demanding the right to legally marry their pets?

So, what’s the play call?

Never compromise. Yes, it’s easy to say Christian Mingle caved when you don’t have millions on the line. But the truth doesn’t change – it is our right not to bow and conform to this world and its standards. It is our honor to remain loyal and contend for the faith in Jesus Christ. God is still able to deliver the Daniels and Hebrew Boys of this present generation.

God, help Your Team to stand.

[Exclusive] Locker Room Chat with JoJo Martin – Part 1

It’s been weeks since his moving rendition of Intercession during the Kirk Franklin tour. Now, Josiah “Jojo” Martin‘s latest single, Run On [listen], is sweeping the airwaves and our hearts. Jojo’s faith and positivity throughout his season with renal disease is unmatched and deeply felt. Despite the challenges of dialysis and patiently waiting for the right kidney donor, Jojo keeps “running on” and inspires us all to do the same. He is one of Coach Jesus’ first string minstrel, encouraging the masses in song and worship.

Our publisher, Kim Brightness, caught up with Jojo for an exclusive “locker room” chat. No fan fare, very intimate – just good conversation about the amazing work of The Jojo Martin Foundation, health, new music, and life as part of Team Jesus! Check out Part 1 of the chat, where Jojo explains what renal disease is and its affects on young, African-American males.

How Can You Help Jojo Martin?

Please show your support for The Jojo Martin Foundation with a tax-deductible donation on their Go Fund Me page.

Are you the kidney donor Jojo’s been waiting for? Contact the Emory Transplant Center at 855-366-7989, Mon-Fri 8am-4pm. For more information, you can e-mail thejojomartinfoundation@gmail.com.

jojo-martin-kidney

 

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4 Must-Follow Rules for Building a Strong Financial Legacy

financial planning

Some of the most rewarding experiences of my life happened in college. For example, I learned how to be 100% dependent on myself vs. my parents, how to make a decision on my own and actually live with the consequences, and I embraced building relationships in a new city by creating something that felt like a family for me, considering I was four hours away from home.

But most of all, I was forced to learn how to live on a budget.

Most college students don’t have much money, and are forced to live on little to almost nothing.  Their regular diets include Ramen noodles, pizza or any free food offered to them in order to keep a dollar in their pocket.   While this is the norm for most college students, this mentality quickly changes once life happens.

Upon graduation, you obtain a full-time position in your field, you start making your own money, you get married to the love your life, have beautiful children, and now you have more expenses than you ever imagined were possible.  Oh the joy of being bill free as a college student!  I was fortunate to start my career with a start-up financial planning company after a semester internship.  I was hired upon graduation at age 22, and embarked upon a new journey of preparing for life.

Letter to my 22-year-old Self

First day on the job, I was scheduled to setup my own financial plan with the owner of the firm. This was unexpected, but if I was going to teach others how to manage their finances, I had to be a good student and master every aspect of building my own financial portfolio.  Although I still follow the majority of this plan today, like any other 20-something, I still made some financial mistakes early on that could have been avoided.

Yes, the best time to make any major financial mistake is when you’re in your twenties!

You have time to easily recoup from your setback, as I did, and then vow to never make the same financial planning or investment mistake again.

There are two categories new graduates fall into upon obtaining full-time employment.  First, graduates who continue to live below their means – they live in a modest apartment, possibly with a roommate, and have no car payment, which creates an opportunity to save more.  Second, graduates who change their lifestyle immediately by spending everything earned now that there is a significant increase in income.

If I had to write a letter to my 22-year-old self, it would include these four important rules for building a financial legacy:

Stay on Target with Your Budget

You must have a clear understanding of your personal budget, which details your monthly income and expenses, including debt repayments.  The primary purpose of a budget is to keep track of every dollar spent.  You’ve earned it, so make it a priority to know where you’re spending your money or spending will control you.

After a month or two of following your budget, review all of your expenses to determine if you are spending less or more than expected.  This will allow you to make some minor adjustments and help you identify bad habits that can affect your financial future.  This process is necessary to stay on target and to avoid the mistake of spending more than you have.

I know all too well that sometimes you have a long week at work and feel like you deserve to buy that handbag and shoes from the mall.   You should certainly reward yourself for various accomplishments and milestones, but plan for it by saving for the splurge.  Impulse buying does not demonstrate self-control.  Kill the urge to buy those unplanned items, especially when caused by emotional stress or a feeling of entitlement.

Rule #1:  Do not spend what you do not have.  

Build Credit Wisely and Remain Debt Free

The 2015 American Household Credit Card Debt Study shows that the average household carries approximately $15,762 in credit card debt.  Credit cards can be beneficial when used wisely.  They can also be very detrimental to your financial situation and cause unnecessary stress.

Until you build an emergency savings fund, use a credit card as backup for unexpected expenses, such as a $250-$1000 deductible required by your car insurance company.  Then, be sure to setup a plan to pay off this debt within the next 3-6 months.

For a $2,000 credit limit, your goal is to keep your debt balance below 35% of your available credit.  If you must have a credit card, try to limit its use to travel expenses.  For example, many companies require a credit card to reserve a hotel, flight, or a car rental.  Promptly pay the credit card charges before interest accrues. The goal is to be financially free – no credit card debt.

Rule #2: One major credit card is enough and it is not for everyday use.  Do not abuse it. 

Invest in Yourself Early

The biggest mistake young professionals make is not saving for retirement in their early years of employment.  You have the opportunity to start saving early, and by taking advantage of these years, you will reap financial benefits greater than a 35-year-old who’s saving the same amount in their retirement account.  Your funds will be invested in the market longer than someone who waits to contribute to a plan, which means significant growth potential for you.

Most employers offer some form of retirement plan, such as a 401k or 403b.  To give employees an incentive to participate, a company match is generally available to each participant after contributing the minimum amount required.  For example, let’s say your employer offers to match you dollar-for-dollar on the first 3% contributed.  You will have 3% deducted from your bi-weekly paycheck, and your employer will also place 3% in the account.  This is free money added to your account that will earn interest based on investment allocations offered in the plan.

Please choose your investments wisely, with the understanding that these funds will not be accessed for the next 40 years or more.  This money grows tax-deferred until you make a withdrawal during your retirement years.  If your employer doesn’t offer a match, you can still contribute towards the retirement plan.  In the case where your employer doesn’t offer a plan at all, a ROTH IRA is a great option for regular contributions, if eligible, and you can withdraw these funds at retirement tax free.

Rule #3:  Start saving early, with no excuses.

Follow Your Passion

Initially, my goal was to be a math teacher because I enjoyed math and felt appreciated when teaching someone a topic/concept. After my first semester in college, I decided to major in business finance instead of the teaching profession. After many years of working in my field, I realized that I still have a passion for teaching.

Sometimes your passion may not be reflected in your primary source of income.  If you have been able to incorporate your passion with your career, I certainly commend you on this accomplishment. Unfortunately, many Americans go to work every day doing a job they like or don’t like, but they are not passionate about it.  Since my passion was teaching, for the last few years, I have been a Math tutor for students in secondary, middle and high school; this has not only fulfilled my desire to teach, but I have earned supplemental income as well.  Follow your passion and work towards doing what you love to do.

Rule #4:  Follow your passion to sources of supplemental your income.

 

Building a financial legacy and working to preserve it is my mission in life.  I believe if you take responsibility and follow these 4 rules, it will change your life, your family, and your legacy.  Having read this letter to my 22-year-old self, it is my hope that you will develop the habit of making wise financial decisions, and reap many benefits in the long run.

So, what’s the play call?

Get financial wisdom. For Wisdom is better than all the trappings of wealth; nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her. Proverbs 8:11

You’re Lit, But Can Anyone See Your Light?

light of the world

My husband and I used to joke that one day our cell phones would be able to wash and dry our clothes with the touch of a button. I’m not sure if that feature is available yet, but if I can control my television with my phone, I imagine a laundry app isn’t too far away.

With all the fancy features phones have today, you want to know which feature I have to have?

The flashlight.

The flashlight has been around since 1898, and it’s not going anywhere. Why? Because when we’re searching in dark places, need a better visual, or when the power fails, we all go to our drawers and pull out the trusty flashlight.

We may not pull it out often; it might have a little dust on it, but everybody has one because there will be moments when nothing else can do the job of a flashlight like a flashlight.

Kind of like our Bible.

The first Bible was printed in the 1400s. It’s been around forever and it’s going to stay around until the end of time. Nothing can do the job of God’s Word like God’s Word. It may collect dust on your coffee table, but you know where it is when you need it. Or, better yet, it shines in your heart!

In the same way a flashlight illuminates dark places, the Word of God brightens every path in our lives.

When we can’t see clearly, the Word of God guides us. When life or people fail us, the Word of God restores us. When we’re asleep, it awakens us. And, when we are lost in this dark world, the Word of God is a light house that brings us safely to shore.

Does Your Light Lead Others Home?

Years ago, I found myself lost in Atlanta, GA. One minute I was downtown and the next minute, I wasn’t. Or, as my husband put it, “All the buildings have disappeared.

Being in an unfamiliar place, at night, was both challenging and uncomfortable. Yet, without a map or GPS to guide me, I did what any person would do who’s desperate to find their way: I simply started to drive towards the lights! Those lights guided me home.

That’s why our lights are so important.  The Bible instructs us:

 “You are the light of the world. You are like a city built on a hill that cannot be hidden.  People don’t hide a lamp under a bowl. They put it on a lampstand. Then the light shines for everyone in the house. In the same way, you should be a light for other people. Live so that they will see the good things you do and praise your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

We spend so much time trying to look attractive, we forget to be attractive [Tweet that!]. People followed Jesus from place to place in awe of who He was, and the Light that emanated from His heart. They were fascinated by His stories, His miracles, His presence.

Jesus said that we should do even greater things than He.  Consider this:

While the world becomes more isolated, we are to meet frequently and share our light with each other. (Hebrews 10:25)

When the world rehearses tragedy, we are to shine a light on everything God has already done. (Psalm 78)

When the world condemns, we are to enlighten with encouragement. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

When the world complains during hard times, our faces light up as we celebrate maturity and lessons learned. (James 1:2-4)

When the world agrees with Satan, we are to take any thought that disagrees with the Word of God and toss it! (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Eye-catching, delightful, lovely and desirable… this is how our spirits are to look to this dark world. They should see us from far off and take off running towards the light. When they’ve found themselves lost in the world, can they look at us and see a beautiful light that leads directly to Jesus Christ?

SO, WHAT’S THE PLAY CALL?

Become child-like. Become the light.

Can anyone light up a room quite like a child? Their spirits are so pure. They never need an excuse to play with a flashlight or flicker a light switch on and off.

They love the light.

We must learn to love the light so much so that we become the light. Someone in our workplace, community and family is fighting through dark times and they feel alone.

Meditate on the Word so that it shines through you and they can see their way home.

Declare this: “I am a light shining for the world to see. Nothing can hide me.”

Does Your Christian Lifestyle Fit the Label?

are you a hypocrite

Last week, I was serving my husband dinner after a long, stress-filled day.  It was a 90-degree afternoon during rush hour traffic when his work truck experienced a massive blow out. Traffic was especially heavy, as the city’s commuters were frantically exiting downtown Washington, D.C. for Memorial Day weekend.

Knowing first hand the overwhelm of the gridlock, coupled with the agitation of being stranded, I did my best to ensure that he was well taken care of when he finally arrived home.

He smiled with appreciation as I prepared his second helping.

“Why thank you my gracious lady!” he said.

Huh, gracious lady?

He was reading the wording on my newest bling tee. Even though I was wearing the t-shirt, for some reason the term “gracious lady” took me by surprise.

What’s the Condition of Your Heart?

I immediately felt a check in my spirit.  I had to stop and ask myself “Am I a gracious lady every day?”

By definition the word gracious means “marked by kindness and courtesy; characterized by charm and generosity of spirit.”

I had to pause and consider the attitude of my heart on a daily basis.  Fortunately, on this day I was empathetic and gentle.

On other days, however, my acts of service seem more like tedious, exhausting chores rather than gestures of love.

What label are YOU wearing?

As followers of Jesus Christ, with t-shirts, hats, and bumper stickers proclaiming our faith, we must be mindful to avoid the appearance of being a fraud or a hypocrite.

Are your feet and your words in alignment?  Does your walk match your talk?

Are you living up to what your t-shirt promotes, or are you laying down your religion when pushed to your limit?

Does the declaration on your bumper sticker reflect the real you, or are you using ‘red letter edition’ words for the difficult people who cut you off in traffic?

So, what is the play call?

Take a few minutes to pause and do a heart check.  Look at the logos and slogans that mark your life and the ones you call yourself:

Christian
Child of the Most High God
Saint
Jesus is Lord
TEAM JESUS

Are you living up to the labels you wear?  Be sure your life brings God glory.

I Kissed (Online) Dating Goodbye

how are you

When I was a teenager, a book was released called I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. It was all the rage among my Christian friends. One friend, in particular, carried it around in her Jansport backpack. No one dared to ask her about it or they got the full lecture. I had no intention or desire to read this book. The title alone scared me. I was the sheltered, overweight girl who guys befriended to get close to my cute friends. So, if someone thought that I was going to pass up on a guy who wanted to date me, they were crazy.

Fast forward 15 years and I wish I could skip dating. It’s emotionally exhausting, it takes up your time, and although it can give you some of the best moments of your life, it can also bring some of the worst. It’s difficult meeting new people, let alone dating them, which seems necessary to get married.

The thing about being single and Christian is that we don’t always find our mates the traditional way. When we step out on the town, looking our best, or if we’re out enjoying a beautiful day in our city, or if we’re in line at Target, we may get attention from the opposite sex, but they may not be a Christian. Furthermore, the existing dating stereotypes within our churches don’t exactly encourage folks to exchange numbers or grab a cup of coffee.

Although I believe that God knows the desires of my heart and His timing is perfect, I sometimes don’t fully trust that He knows that I want a mate in this lifetime. This may be a silly thought, but such a real feeling at times. To speed the process along, I decided to start online dating.

Smart, right?

Christian Dating Options at My Fingertips?

The process seemed so easy: Download an app, answer some basic questions about myself and be exposed to the entire “sea of men” people always referenced.

Had you asked me a year ago what I thought of online dating, I’d tell you I thought it was the best way to meet someone. But experience changes perspective. I was a Tinder user for a few years, on and off. I loved the app mostly for the ease of use. Swipe right if you like someone and left if you don’t.

I met a few Christians on Tinder. I thought for sure stating my beliefs on my profile would eliminate all the men who weren’t believers. One person started a conversation with “I really do love me some Jesus“, but in all of his pictures he was half-naked, and in one particular photo he had his middle finger up!  I definitely took a screenshot of that and sent it to some friends for a laugh.

There were times I felt a bit convicted like last summer on our young adult retreat. I was a leader and someone yelled across the field “Hey, the guys and I just saw you on Tinder!” I was mortified for a moment, but kept swiping.

How Many Options are Too Many?

When I was a teenager, I babysat for a family from our church. I became very close with the mom, who was beautiful, fashionable and funny. I admired her and wanted to be like her someday. She would talk about the things of God, but we could also joke about worldly matters.

One day I brought over a book I had just bought and was so excited to share it with her. The book was full of postcards that contained secrets people sent anonymously to a man who compiled them to share with the world. Some were dirty, some were funny, and others were sad, but I loved the thought-provoking ones. I tried to skip the inappropriate cards quickly enough so she wouldn’t see them, but she stopped me as I was flipping through. In a book of hundreds of postcards, there were only 5 or 6 that were worth showing her.

With her southern drawl, in the sweetest tone, she asked: “Why would you expose yourself to all of these images and thoughts, just to find the one or two good images?”

I sat there stunned. I had never thought about it that way. My intentions were pure. I wasn’t looking to laugh at the provocative cards, just the ones I found interesting. In the process, I opened my spirit and my mind to things I shouldn’t have seen.

I feel the same way about online dating. Sure, there are plenty of men for me to find on those apps. But I don’t think God would want me to expose myself to so much temptation, vulgarity, and secular ideals just to find the man HE wants for me.

Are there happily married Christian couples who met on dating sites? Yes. God is sovereign.

But, there are things of this world that are just not for all Christians. We are His precious children. He wants us to live Holy, but that doesn’t mean alone, at home on the weekends with cats.

He wants us to live with purpose. He wants us to be happy. HE wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts.

God can use the app to bring you a mate, but how much do we have to sacrifice to find him/her when we do it our way? 

Our morality, our hearts, and our spirit are all on the table and up for grabs for people who may not even know God.

Faith is black and white, there is no gray area. We can choose to trust that He will bring us a mate in His time, or we can try in our own strength to make things happen.

So, what’s the play call?

Choose to trust the Heavenly Father, who has planned every day of our lives before we were born. I trust that He knows the desires of my heart. I have to remember this every time the enemy whispers that God’s forgotten about me. He hasn’t. He hasn’t forgotten about you either!

He will bring the right person, His way. And for this reason, I had to kiss online dating goodbye.

Free at Last: Controlling Student Loan Debt

student loan

I’m free.

The two words my sister reflects on today regarding paying for college for her first born child.  As any parent would, she thought regularly of ways to prepare for putting my niece through college many years leading up to her senior year in high school, and I would not let her consider touching her retirement funds.

She helped ensure my niece’s grades were in place, and signed her up for opportunities to volunteer in the community and at church. My sister knew this would build a desirable educational and leadership resume in preparation for the college application process.  The scholarship application process was a part-time job in itself, applying for dozens of scholarships from multiple corporations and organizations – all with deadlines and essay requirements.

So how do you pay for your child to go college? It’s graduation season, so I know many parents across the globe have asked the very same question, and are tossing back and forth with what strategy works best for their family.

While we all know that one should prepare as soon as possible by saving money, sometimes as a parent, you just don’t get serious about saving for a college education until close to the teen years.

In 2014, the average student loan debt for 70% of college students who attended a public or private nonprofit college was $28,950, according to the Institute of College Access and Success.  Between grants, scholarships, pre-paid tuition plans, 529 saving plans and student loans, all of these options will have an impact on not only the parents’ finances, but also the student’s financial future.

Here are some alternatives to making this process a little easier and more manageable on your wallet.

Strategies for Paying for College

529 Gifts.  Over the years, with every birthday and Christmas that passes by, instead of providing the notorious “list of wants” for the child, such as their favorite doll or tennis shoes, give the 529 monetary contribution as an option.

In most states, the Section 529 plans, setup by and controlled by the parent, will allow for people other than the parent to contribute to an account. This could really add up over the years with compounding interest.  This is especially a great option for grandparents or godparents who regularly give gifts to the child.  If you intend to save less than $2,000 per year, there are other saving plan options, e.g. a Coverdell Education Savings account, that can help you reach that goal.

Early College High School.   You could potentially cut tuition in half by leading your child to apply for an early college High School program in the eighth grade.  This awesome opportunity allows the student to spend their 9th through 12th grades earning their high school diploma while simultaneously earning a two-year Associate degree, or two years of transferrable credit towards a four-year college or university.

Eliminating two years of tuition is a huge savings for you, but careful planning many years before your child walks across the stage is necessary to determine if early college is feasible for you and your son or daughter.  I understand sometimes the student may think they are going to miss out on a true high school experience, however, these programs do try to incorporate many of those experiences, such as prom, senior class trips, and senior pictures.

Keep in mind, if this type of program isn’t offered in your area, the student could enroll in a community college for the first two years, then transfer credits to a four-year college or university of their choice, if money is truly a factor.

Part-Time Job.   Many teens start working part-time in high school to fund their miscellaneous expenses such as gas or car insurance as mandated by mom and dad.  I suggest a similar arrangement in college to assist parents with paying for tuition for the upcoming semester.

They can work full-time in the summer to build up funds for the following semester to cover books or to help with tuition and other expected fees.  This is well worth the sacrifice while earning a degree for the ultimate goal of graduating student loan debt free.

WHAT NOT TO DO

No dipping into the 401k

Many parents are tempted to dip into a 401k retirement account with an employer to pay for college expenses.  This is a big mistake.  While hardship withdrawals are an option, there are some repercussions that are not worth the time and money lost building your retirement funds so you can retire comfortably.

You have to pay income taxes on the funds withdrawn, and the IRS will penalize you an additional 10% on top of the income taxes if you’re not age 59 ½.  In addition, you are not able to contribute to your 401k for six months under Safe Harbor laws.  Hardship withdrawals are considered a true hardship, and if you are in a hardship, then how can you afford to reduce your income to place monies into your 401k each pay period?  You want to avoid this at all costs without pulling your hair out – just stay focused on paying for college by other means without drawing from your retirement funds.

Credit Cards…Say No, no, no, no, no!

We all want to be rewarded for spending money, but using your credit card to pay for college is not the best use of your shopping power, even if you’re earning rewards or airline miles as a bonus.  Most credit cards charge anywhere between 15%-30% interest, so your chances of paying the money back could take you over 6 years.

For example, let’s say your credit card bill is $1,000.  Assuming an Annual Interest Rate (APR) of 15%, making a minimum payment of $20/month, the approximate total interest paid would be $579.12.  It would take 6.6 years before you’re free of that debt! Let’s say no to credit cards altogether, parents.

Avoid Excessive Student Loans

Financial aid is necessary to help supplement the money saved for your college student.  The main thing to remember is not to over-borrow and not to over-spend.

The student loan companies are going to start hounding you and/or your child for payments on the debt within 6 months of graduation.  While their interest rate is much more manageable (normally running between 3%-6%), you only want to borrow the absolute minimum needed to assist your child in paying for the expenses.  Any additional amounts left over each semester should be placed in an interest-bearing account, and paid back in a lump sum as soon as the first payment is due.

You may be that parent who manages your money well, or one who started saving for college from day one of your child’s life.  However, this may not be the case for the majority of parents.  I want to encourage you to really think about how these decisions can affect your child’s future.

Can you imagine the head start our children would have if they graduated from college with no student loan debt?  I can describe this in one word: Free.  Well, actually two: Financially Free!

Giving them this financial relief is beneficial to their confidence and releases them from the pressure of that first major bill upon graduation.  Once my sister really understood this revelation, she was officially free of any anxiety regarding college costs.  Free at last!  My mission was accomplished.

So, what’s the play call?

Take some time to prepare for this chapter of your future or new graduate’s life.  Use some of these tips to keep you focused on achieving no student loan debt or minimal debt to give your son or daughter a stress free beginning.

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