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The Art of Submission is a Beautiful Thing, Don’t Resist It. Here’s Why.

submission

The term submission is typically brought up in relation to obedience to God and compromise in marriage (by not being selfish). But, there is a lot more to it. We submit ourselves to our jobs, our life schedules, the law, and many other things in life.

Some of us are great at submission. The people who do well academically, those who excel physically and athletically understand the art of submission. Think about people who are full of peace and joy and all the fruit of the Spirit. Anyone who has achieved greatness and success, in any area of their lives, have submitted themselves to the process that was necessary to attain it.

If we want to have physical health we have to submit to proper diet and exercise. If we want to be a great athlete, we have to submit to training and consistent practice. If we want to have financial success, we have to submit to a budget to save and invest. The principal of submission works across the board. When we decide to do something, we have decided to submit to it.

Submission is Beautiful, Embrace It.

submissionFor many of us, submission is a dirty word. For me, it was literally cringeworthy. For as long as I could remember, I was rebellious and wanted to do my own thing. I rationalized that as a human being of sound mind I should be able to act and do as I saw fit.

This didn’t go over well.

I ended up wasting a lot of time and went through a lot of pain because I didn’t want to submit to anything. I thought I was independent and free-spirited when actually I was undisciplined and unfocused.

Not that there was a lack of desire or motivation – I have always been driven – but I didn’t get as far as I could have because I hated submission. I didn’t even realize that I was dealing with this subtle resistance. I was deceiving myself by thinking I could have success without submitting to discipline.

How many of us are not where we know we should be because we refuse to submit to anything?

Submission Beautifies Our Spiritual and Natural Lives

The Bible says in Psalm 128:2, “You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you”. Psalm 90:17 says, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands”. Proverbs 14:23 says, “In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty”. Romans 12:11 says, “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit…”.

As we can see, our spiritual and mental lives are impacted by submission just like our natural lives. When we submit our heart, mind, and soul to the will of God, we bear all the fruit of the Spirit. If there is any emotional instability, then work to submit your mind to what the Word says. Then, the joy of the Lord will be your strength (Psalm 28:7).

Depression, fear, torment, confusion – they all must be submitted to the Lord. Here is a paradox: Submission is the key to happiness and success; even though submission may feel like a prison, it brings us into freedom both spiritually and naturally. The world glorifies self-will and independence, but the Word says that we can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13).

Reasons Why We Resist Submission

There are different reasons why we struggle to submit, but I believe it’s based in pride and arrogance. Submission takes humility. Rebellion tells us that we don’t need the process, that we’re smart enough to do it our own way. So, we start and stop project after project, unable to commit to anything but our own whims.

We follow our heart and allow the way we feel to dictate what we do. The worst part about living this way is the condemnation that comes with the impulsive decisions we make.

I want to challenge anyone struggling to submit to repent and humble themselves to the process of development. We can do this! After you set your mind to change, the Lord will lead you in the next steps that you should take.

He led me to first change my eating. It’s a very basic first step in conditioning my body to have self-control and submit to the requirements of good health.

After eating clean for a few weeks, the Lord had me create a detailed schedule. I schedule time to do everything from studying to self-care and everything in between. This is the way that I am going to hold myself accountable. I’m just getting started and I don’t know what God will have me do next, but I know that if I want real change I have to start with submission.

I confess that I am afraid of failure and disappointment. I worry that I’ll never get it right, but God keeps reminding me that I’m not in this alone. He is my very present help and I have to rely on Him completely every step of the way.

When we finally discover our thorn we begin to fully appreciate our need for God and His grace.

So, What’s the Play Call?

  • Remember that we can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13).
  • Co-labor with God to overcome rebellion and self-reliance.
  • If we submit ourselves to God, He promised us joy, abundance, and good success.

Be Blessed!

Good Health Cooking: Easy Citrus Vinaigrette

Salad dressing is a pretty remarkable condiment.  It has the potential to perk up a dull salad and mingle otherwise singular ingredients into a bowl of flavorful goodness.  This Citrus Vinaigrette does just that.  And, you can shake it up in less than 5 minutes flat.

Every week our family has ‘build-your-own salad night’.  This is a popular dinner because they have the ability to create their own meal.  How much, how little, if any, add more… they get to decide which is quite empowering.  (It also works wonders in homes with selective eaters.)  

I lay out some greens, a variety of veggies that happen to be in my fridge, some animal protein like chicken or salmon, some plant-based protein like edamame or chickpeas, and something crunchy like nuts or seeds.  My girls don’t let me forget the avocado or feta cheese, either.  But the crowning glory, the condiment that brings all those ingredients together is a fresh and flavorful salad dressing.  

This Citrus Vinaigrette is currently my 5-year-old’s favorite dressing and she also likes to help me make it.  Zest and squeeze a navel orange and then add in some rice vinegar, a bit of lime juice, a squeeze of honey, EVOO and a little dijon mustard and you will have a light and bright salad dressing perfect for a build-your-own salad night/perking up your salad greens and crunchy vegetables.

Sweet, tangy, and bright, this Citrus Vinaigrette is perfect over spicy greens like arugula.  But, it’s also just the right dressing for grain and veggie salads like this Quinoa Edamame Salad with Citrus Vinaigrette because the grains soak up all that delicious flavor!

You don’t need any special appliances or a lot of time to shake up a delicious vinaigrette for your family’s build-your-own salad night.  

Citrus Vinaigrette

Easy Citrus Vinaigrette Dressing

Ingredients

½ large orange, juice, and zest
1 tbsp rice vinegar
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp lime juice, fresh or bottled
1 tbsp country dijon mustard, like Grey Poupon brand
½ tbsp honey, or maple syrup
⅛ tsp kosher salt
⅛ tsp ground black pepper

Directions

Add all ingredients to a mason jar with a tight-fitting lid. Shake up until it is well combined. Serve over your favorite greens and veggies.  Double the recipe if you want to make extra for the week!

Store vinaigrette dressing in the refrigerator for up to 5-7 days.

Makes 3 servings, about 2 tbsps each (makes about 6 tbsps of dressing)

Nutrition Per Serving

Calories 61; Total Fat 4.7g (saturated fat 0.7g); Cholesterol 0mg; Sodium 200mg; Total Carbs 4g; Fiber 0.1g; Sugar 4g (Added Sugar 3g; Naturally Occuring Sugar 1g); Protein 0.1g

Print the recipe here.

Don’t Cry for Your Chains: 4 Ways We Reject Freedom from Bondage

freedom from bondage

Freedom from Bondage is Readily Available

I’ve always been fascinated by the Stockholm Syndrome – the behavior where hostages become sympathetic to their captors. Some resist rescue, refuse to testify against their assailants, or in rare cases like Patty Hearst, become an accomplice to their captors’ crimes.

Standing on the outside looking in, most of us couldn’t fathom being sympathetic to those who imprison us, mistreat us, abuse us, or threaten our very life. Just the thought of being captured or imprisoned arouses feelings of revolt, fighting back, or strategizing what we would do to regain our freedom.

It’s interesting how we have a plan for and reject the captors we CAN see.  But what about those hidden captors we can’t physically see, but we know oh so well?

Interestingly, many Christians wake up as willing hostages every day. We are captured by fear, failure, low self-esteem, doubt, the past, and controlled by many other “wardens”.  We wouldn’t pat our kidnapper on the back, or assist a bank robbery in progress, would we? Then, why don’t we have the same intense resistance against, say, blame, or unforgiveness captors as we would physical captors?

Could it be we’re suffering from an internal Stockholm Syndrome?

The Devil is not Your Friend

freedom from bondageThe first thing to note, Team, is that the devil is not your friend (1 Peter 5:8). He is an enemy, and his tricks, schemes, and tactics are never meant for your good.

Jesus paid the high price of His life so that we could be free and stay free.

Did you know that bondage takes a certain level of submission to it? Galatians 5:1 admonishes us to keep ourselves from being “entangled” in the yoke of bondage. If we have the power through Jesus Christ to be free and stay free, why are so many blood-bought believers bound?

Here are some reasons why we forego freedom and remain in bondage.

The (Fake) Tears We Cry for Our Chains, And Why

1. “It’s what I know, and how I’ve lived for so long.” (Length of time served)

The “familiar” takes zero effort, and frankly, many of us are sadly allergic to work.  We’ve been there, know that, lived that – why change?  “My mama was this, my daddy was this, his daddy… it’s who we are.”  False!

No matter how long you’ve been the way you are today, freedom through Jesus Christ is attainable for a better way of life.  Afraid you’ll never “get it”?  Just like you learned and adapted to being surly, malicious, a control freak, or whoever your current Warden is, God’s plan for you includes healing and washing away the stench of your prison, and teaching you to walk, with Love, into your freedom.

2. “I love my Attention, Pity, and Blame (AP&B) Card.” (Prison benefits)

So, you’re telling me, if I walk into my freedom, I’ll no longer receive all of this attention and pity, and I can’t blame others for my misfortunes anymore?”

That’s right!  Now, how many of you reading this would rush back into your cell and slam the door shut? How many of you value your AP&B card over a get-out-of-jail-free card?  Team, God will never leave you worse off for choosing freedom.  What you thought you would lose is actually the greatest gain of all.

3. “If it were easier, I’d change.” (Rikers vs. County Jail)

I agree. There are levels of suffering, misfortune, and hardships that warrant greater rescue tactics, greater healing, or more time to realize freedom than others. You may think fear is worse than unforgiveness, or pride is worse than lying.  But it serves us more to focus our attention on the power of the Holy Spirit than to compare and magnify all of our logical reasons why we can’t be free.

Is there anything too hard for our God, the Creator of the Universe (Jeremiah 32:27)? No, there isn’t!  Just ask Elie WieselChong Kim, your family member, or a friend who’s beat unthinkable odds. You can be free, too.

4.  “I like prison.”

Perhaps your stance is: “Leave me alone. I like me this way, this is MY truth.”  To you, beloved, I offer – you will never like your prison more than God LOVES you!  I pray that God sends you an event or someone who shares freedom through Christ in a way that’s real and meaningful to you. You, too, have a date where every chain will be broken!

So, What’s the Play Call?

Don’t cry for your chains. You may know them, you may have grown fond of them, perhaps you’ve even bedazzled them – but know this: There is no such thing as a beautiful prison.

Did Jesus sacrifice His life so that His Team would live in defeat and bondage? God forbid!

Team Jesus is a winning team of Christ-followers who are more than conquerors. Let’s begin to ACT LIKE WE ARE!

Got an appetite for the drama and attention that bondage brings? Ask God to search your heart and lead you to the living waters of Christ, where your mind can be washed and renewed, and the promise of freedom from bondage realized.

Follow God Not Man to Avoid Unexpected Delays

follow god

I was driving home from out of town the other evening. It was raining a little and had gotten dark. As I continued on, it began to rain harder, pour even, as if someone was standing on top of my car slinging buckets of water. Now, the visibility wasn’t amazing, okay, it was terrible, but I could still see well enough to make it. I could see car lights up ahead and as I got closer, I noticed that they were all in the right lane, following each other. I am sure they all felt if they could see the lights in front of them, it would be a safer drive.

So, I fell in line, right behind the last car.

After a couple of minutes, I realized that we weren’t really moving and I decided that I would get over in the left lane and just take my chances. It only took about 5 minutes before I was ahead of the long line of cars and semi-trucks, and probably another 10 minutes before I could no longer see them in my rearview mirror at all. They were still following each other, making it safe along their way. 

Follow God Every Step Towards Your Destination

respect the processAlthough my visibility wasn’t superb, it was good enough for me to get over into my own lane and make it through the rain. Yes, it made me think. I know those drivers weren’t necessarily afraid, but cautious.

In life though, it translates differently, and we tend to follow behind others out of fear. That left lane looks pretty scary when you can’t perfectly see what is in front of you. Those buckets of rain make you feel as if you could drown.

So, what do you do? You stay to the right, where you can see those brake lights ahead. I am not saying that your way is wrong, but I am saying that moving in fear will keep you in the back of a moving line that isn’t even going where you’re meant to go.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Moving into your own lane can present some unexpected roadblocks and some buckets of rain, but keep going. You see, where you are destined to go will require you to drift off on your own and into an empty lane.

There may even be a time or two when you look in that rearview mirror and see the line you left behind. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you consider drifting into the left lane: 

  1. Know you were destined to be different. That means you don’t always belong in the same lane as everyone else; your lane may even be going in the opposite direction. “For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.” Deuteronomy 14:2
  2. Following Christ will get you where you need to be. Those cars in the right lane will get you nowhere if their lane isn’t the one you should be in. Your best bet is to move on over. “For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.” Psalms 31:3
  3. Do not be afraid of where God is taking you. I could have allowed the intensity of the rain to frighten me and I could have stayed behind that line of cars; that would have also taken me an extra hour to get home. Do not be delayed because you refuse to get over. “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10
  4. You got this. You even prayed for it. Remember? God created that lane just for you, so He intends for you to travel it. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:13

As you move on in life, please don’t let the pouring rain scare you into a slow, packed lane that was never meant for you. God will lead and cover you. 

 

There Are No Spiritual Growth Hacks, We’ve Got to Train

spiritual growth

Growing up, sports were my life. When I got to high school, I realized that I had to train with more focus and intensity than previously acceptable. I needed to get bigger, stronger, and faster. Over 95% of an athlete’s time is spent training and less than 5% competing.

Training prepares us for game time. We make sacrifices in order to get better. Tim Tebow says, “Hard work always beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.” Some athletes want the results without the work, but that’s not the way it works. Our desire needs to be matched by our doing.

Spiritual Growth Takes Time, Effort, and Consistency

fear and worrySpiritually speaking, many of us spend very little time training for life on Team Jesus. Our spiritual growth is spotty at best, and we often wonder why we aren’t farther along in our walk with Christ. Many of us wonder, “Why won’t God put me in the game?” Well, there are reasons. God knows when our spiritual growth is ready for game time (Jeremiah 12:5), and the Holy Spirit is ready to lead us into all Truth (John 16:13) – if and when we make the time to train.

Sure, we call it devotions, but we aren’t very devoted. We call it “quiet time“, but how often do we rush through the calm to tackle the chaos of the day?

If we’re honest, most of us don’t even have a plan. And, our hit-and-miss approach to spiritual growth is littered with excuses that we’re too tired or too busy. We need to put ourselves in position for God to do what only He can do – transform us from the inside out.

We need to show up and put in some spiritual training time. Team Jesus can’t just be a group of weekend warriors. If we want to experience real-life change, we have to train.

Make a sacrifice, get a plan, and show up for the workout. There are no shortcuts to godliness.

We must do the training and let God do the changing. Think about it.

So, What’s The Play call?

  1. What are some things that you could do on a daily basis that will increase your spiritual growth and capacity?
  2. If you could do one thing for maximum spiritual growth and life change, what would you do?

Prayer:

Father, give me the desire and discipline to begin and stick with a spiritual training program that increases the capacity of my heart and soul. When I show up and train, you will bring change from the inside out. Amen.

Post-workout stretch:

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”- 2 Peter 1:3-4

 

They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.  Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.” – Hebrews 12:10-12

 

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” – Philippians 2:12-13

3 Ways to See God at Work Through the Worse Situations

see god at work

Sometimes, it’s amazing how our God, who is omnipresent, can seem so MIA in our messiest situations. Life can throw you a fast curveball that leaves you feeling blind-folded and fumbling through the dark at the very time you need to see God at work.

You may ask yourself, “How will I ever make it out of this painful situation – alive? Where are you, God?”

“Come to the window. See, I’m right here.”

See God at Work Through Dirty Windows

see god at workIt would be easier to see God through the window of our circumstances if the glass had a fresh coat of Windex and wiped perfectly clean – no streaks. But, the filth of that heartache, illness, financial struggle has smeared the window and all we can see is the mess it’s made. All we can see and feel is the grime of that messy situation.

Sometimes, we try to help the situation by wiping the grime with our own might (Zechariah 4:6). “If I’m supposed to see God at work in this, maybe I can help Him reveal Himself.” We intervene in our situations by talking too much, putting our hands to work on counterproductive efforts, and trying to manipulate or control the speed of the solution. But, as we take our finger and wipe the glass, it only leaves a greasy smear and makes matters worse.

“Come to the window. See, I’m right here.”

If seeing God at work were that simple, why is the glass of this situation so dark (1 Corinthians 13:12)?

God is Always at Work, Can You See It?

It’s not always our first, natural inclination to see God at work when times are hard. Most times, we’re too hurt, offended, confused, or angry at the situation to even think about God’s goodness and mercy. This is why we must train ourselves in the Word of God before heartache and tragedy strike so that we’ll be prepared.

Regardless of your position to the storm – going in, in the eye, or coming out – remember these tips to come to the window to see God in any situation:

1. Renounce hopelessness and apathy.

You know, the enemy does the most work on us before we even step up to the window. You may sense whispers of, “Don’t be a fool, it’s no use trying to see God in something this messed up” – but don’t you believe the father of lies, that what he does and who he is. Renounce those feelings that it’s too hard so why even try. Untie those sandbags of apathy from around your ankles, you know the ones keeping you from moving forward to see God’s might and splendor.

Sometimes, all God asks us to do is show up, and He’ll take our hands the rest of the way through. Don’t give up before you give God an honest try. He’s got something amazing to show you.

2. Focus on Faith by Faith.

Ok. With your hope in God solid and steadfast, approach the window of your circumstances with the shield of faith. Not only will faith be the substance of your hope when all around you is sinking sand (Hebrews 11:1), faith also provides the evidence of God’s mighty hand that you can’t see with your natural eyes. As the enemy fires off his fiery darts, the shield of faith will extinguish every fiery distraction intended to obscure the view of God at work on your behalf (Ephesians 6:16).

3. See the Salvation of a Loving Savior.

Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord (Exodus 14:13). As you approach the window to see God at work, you may feel the same way the children of Israel felt as they approached the Red Sea. “God, what is this? Are you trying to give me a front-row seat to my own demise?” Nonetheless, in Exodus 14:15 at the edge of the Red Sea, God instructed Moses to tell the people, “Go forward.”

See, God wants to give you a front-row, VIP seat not to your demise, but to see God at work orchestrating your complete victory! God loves us and has a loving plan for each of us – a plan that leads to abundance and prosperity, not harm (Jeremiah 29:11).

So, What’s the Play Call?

When God calls us to see Him at work, don’t focus on the dirt and grime on the window of that situation. See through the noise. Step up to the glass with an assured hope and faith in the faithfulness of a loving God.

Remember, it’s okay to watch in silence (Exodus 14:14) and rest in the completeness of God’s perfect will. Move out of the way and give yourself permission to let God be God. When we do so, we’ll surely see God at work every time and know that the outcome will work out for our good.

It’s Just Water: Don’t Fear What Came to Help You

don't fear

It’s been pretty hot here for the past few weeks, in the 80s every day. My nephew, who is five, came to visit and, of course, he loves to play outside. Mmmkay, this isn’t about his love for the great outdoors, please stick with me. We’d gone out to water our flowers and he wanted to help, so I let him. I asked if he wanted me to spray him with the hose because what kid doesn’t. Well, this kid does not.

After being out in the heat a while though, I somehow convinced him to let me spray him. Well, as you may know, with preschoolers, it’s often tit for tat so he wanted to spray me in return. Now, y’all know I didn’t want a 5-year-old to let loose on me with a water hose, so I told him no. “Please Tee Tee, can I spray you?” My reply was still “nope”. Even though it was sweltering outside, I wasn’t willing to let him spray me even though it would cool me off.

We were playing out in the backyard, in the grass, being shined down on by the hot sun. He finally said, “C’mon, it’s just water. I’m gonna do it”; he then proceeds to spray me, at very close proximity, might I add. I couldn’t even have an attitude about it, though I really wanted to because he aimed straight for the back of my head. All I could do was run, but I had to run in the direction that the water was flowing in order to get away from it.

Don’t Fear What Came to Help You, Not Harm You

don't fearAs I stated before, this is not about a five-year old’s love for playing outside. This is about you not wanting to get “sprayed with the water hose”, and I will tell you what I mean.

There are so many opportunities that we miss out on in life because we refuse to get sprayed. We get apprehensive and back out of plans, make excuses, and so on. Thoughts of failure outweigh the promise of success. Lack of resources overrides guaranteed support.

There are even times when some of us allow our perfectionism to hinder us from moving forward. Yep, we’re afraid that the water will get our hair wet (you know that’s a no-no). Because when our hair is wet, involuntarily, it’s a mess and us perfectionists (yes, I admit to it) hate messes.

It is so easy to pass on the water hose spray down when we ignore the hot temperatures in our atmosphere. The mercury is rising for what we have to offer. Perhaps, we do not realize that if we move in accordance with the flow of the water being sprayed, we will get to our destination and be of help to others.

So, What’s the Play Call?

I know it can seem like a burden to be “sprayed with the water hose”, but it is exactly what we need to get us headed where we need to be. When it’s easier to stay safe and dry, please remember these things:

  1. Exercise your faith. Most, okay, all of the things that God gives us to do require faith. If we want those things to succeed, we must have faith to know that He will see them through, just as he has placed them in our care to do. “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
  2. Know that you have nothing to fear. I know you are probably thinking that there are many things to fear. You know what, though? With God on your side, none of those things are relevant, He is greater than them all. “I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalms 34:4
  3. A little water is good for you. It sure is, so there is no need to take off running at the first sign of the sprinkler system. Listen, we all know that water is needed to hydrate, to help us grow – so think of the water coming at you as a means to help you grow and gain what you need. “That I will give you the rain of your land in his due season, the first rain and the latter rain, that thou mayest gather in thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil.” Deuteronomy 11:14
  4. Trust God’s doing. Often, we see the water that is slapping the back of our heads as an attack of the enemy. Know that God has a fail-proof plan that will keep you safe no matter what is coming in your direction. “Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.” Psalms 16:1

Don’t be afraid to get sprayed a little bit. This water could be just what you need to get to your destiny. “C’mon, it’s just water.”

 

Coping with Loss and Disappointment: Deal or No Deal?

doers of the word

“I Can’t Deal! How Can I Cope With This Loss?”

Life has a way of teaching us lessons that ultimately shape not only who we are, but who we become.

Coping with a loss can take you through many different emotions. It may be the loss of a relationship, the death of a loved one, or a disappointment.

Life happens to us all.  You lose someone or something dear to you.  Things change.  A delay prevents you from accomplishing your goal, or something happens to cause you to adapt to an unexpected reality.

I remember when I lost both a close friend and my mother.  These experiences have impacted my life forever, and I still have moments where I am in disbelief of being without my dear friend and my mother.

Anytime you lose a loved one, the disappointment of them leaving you is hard to swallow, and you wish you could only do something to bring them back.  My life had changed and there was nothing I could do about it.  My reality now is to learn to cope with the loss and trust that God had prepared me to handle the unexpected.

Since your life experiences have shaped the person you have become today, you may handle a loss differently from others.  I want to encourage you and share some things that have helped me deal with the losses in my life.

Deal or No Deal?

deal or no deal
Source: NBC Universal

The choice is yours how you choose to cope with loss, but just know that Jesus is rooting for you to choose “Deal!“.

God will help you through every one of the phases below – just like He did for me:

The “Reality of Loss” Process

1. Allow yourself the freedom to grieve.

Processing the reality of the loss is the first step to help you move on with your life in the midst of the hurt or pain.  For me, mentally and emotionally, I had to accept that someone I loved, cherished, and valued was no longer here with me.  This was the case for both my friend and my mom.  And, not to sound like one was more important than the other, but especially in losing my mom – the reality was I could no longer touch her, feel her, hug her, kiss her, see her, or call her.

In her last months, I remember laying on the bed with her and rubbing her feet, or how she would just sit up in bed leaning on my shoulder because she was tired of laying down.  I knew the inevitable was coming one day, but the reality was still a hard pill to swallow once she was gone.

The truth is you will never fully grieve a loved one because that person is always in your heart and in your memories.  Allow the good times and beautiful experiences you shared together serve as positive reminders for you. It is a process.

2. Cherish the memories.

Moments come and go. Life is short and unexpected things happen.  Every moment you share with others should never be taken for granted.  You never know when will be the last time you will see your friend, your spouse, your sister or brother, your co-worker or child.

The best way to deal with a loss or disappointment is to recognize that each second, each minute and each day counts! The memories you create and share is how you make it through a loss.

I often find myself thinking of the way my friend made me laugh.  She was a character and the life of the party.  Her spirit was contagious and her soft gentle voice comforted me.  I cherish every memory I had with her and my random thoughts tend to always start with a tear, but end with a smile on my face.

In disappointment, such as a loss of a job or relationship, it’s good to know you gave it your best and wouldn’t change anything if you had to do it again.  If you have breath in your body, time gives you an opportunity to try again.  If you are no longer talking to your friend or family member, you still have time to make it right – time to make better moments and memories.

3. Surround Yourself with Comforting People.

Having a support system is important to your ongoing journey as the days, weeks, and months go on after a loss. Allow those who are concerned about you to care for you; you don’t have to be the strong friend. Words of comfort and hope after a loss will acknowledge what you are experiencing.

Many want you to know they are there for you. An occasional text, phone call, or visit is common soon after the loss, but will generally slow down. The close family and friends who love you will still be there to support you.  Some will know what to say, and others just want to be there for you. Take comfort in this and know that if they don’t reach out to you, they are praying for you and thinking about you.

Even with divorce, grieving a long-term relationship creates emotions similar to a death, and one experiencing this type of loss should go through these steps as well. Your hopes and dreams of the past are no more.  But, certainly, having supportive and comforting people in your life will help tremendously with your coping process. As you heal, you will hope and dream again.

4. Lean on Jesus.

God wants you whole and complete, mentally and emotionally, so be sure to spend some alone time to reflect, relax and take care of yourself.

When you are all alone and no one is answering the phone when you call, you still have someone to talk to who sees your tears and hears your cries.  His comfort is like no other comfort you’ll experience.   Jesus will give you peace that you won’t understand.

Whether your loss was expected or unexpected, the pain is the same. Let Him heal that hole in your heart, then you will see a strength in you that only God can get the credit for.  Lean on Him entirely for everything you need during this time.

So, What’s the Play Call?

There is hope for you.  The process of letting go may seem unbearable, hurtful or disappointing, but know that it will get better.  You will think often of the person who left you, you will recap how you could’ve done things differently.  But, if you process the reality of the loss, cherish the memories, and surround yourself with comforting people and lean on Jesus – you will get through it!

Since life impacts the lessons you learn, and the person you become, let’s be intentional about letting life show you how to view the outcome in a way that you can successfully DEAL.

 

30 Signs of an Abusive Church or Leader

church

One of the many joys of becoming a member of the household of faith is finding a “House of Prayer”, a local church fellowship of believers where you can grow in your walk with the Lord.

Proper fellowship with other believers is crucial to the glory-to-glory growth that God has intended for all of His children. We are many members of one body who need each other to survive and thrive (1 Corinthians 12:12).

Yet, not every church or assembly that bears the name of Jesus Christ, God, Lord, or a biblical reference carries the heart of God. While we all wish this was not so, we have to remember that there is no limit to where the enemy will attempt to cause confusion and division. The devil doesn’t see the local church and say, “Nope, that place is off-limits. I won’t even attempt to bring my perversion there.”

Are You in an Abusive Church or Under a Spiritually Abusive Pastor or Leader?

abusive churchOn the contrary, many “church” leaders have been wooed by the enemy – drunk with power and influence, smitten by their own perceived greatness, and too prideful to see that they are out of alignment with God’s will for them as His under-shepherd.

The people of God belong to God – not the pastor or leader. And yet some leaders have the audacity to feed God’s sheep tainted milk and poisoned meat. There are perversion-laced sermons and ideologies being preached from pulpits to live streams – and God is not pleased with these flock scatterers (Jeremiah 23:1).

Some teammates on Team Jesus have pledged their loyalty to abusive ministries and don’t even know it. This is a major issue in and of itself. We cannot be so influenced by the “rock star” status of leaders, so attached to our positions and titles in the church, or so validated by our church affiliation that we cannot recognize spiritual abuse when we’re subject to it. And likewise, sisters and brothers in Christ don’t let other sisters and brothers stay blind to abuse without saying something.

How to Tell if You’re in an Abusive Church

Some of us can spot an abusive church or leader from miles away. For others, our eyes are so covered with the “scales of loyalty” to abusive ministries – we can’t see the truth, let alone see our way to freedom.

Recently, teammate Dr. Alexis Maston of Austin, TX shared 30 signs on her heart to warn of abusive churches and cultish leaders.

Are you experiencing any of these signs to the detriment of your walk with Christ?

  1. You can’t listen to anyone else preach.
  2. Only they have the ability to hear from God.
  3. They preach about you from the pulpit.
  4. They use the prophetic to manipulate you.
  5. They tell you who you can or can’t marry.
  6. What they say is Law; you cannot have a thought or opinion.
  7. You’re not allowed to attend any conferences outside of the house.
  8. They drill HONOR and COVERING into your head (MAJOR RED FLAG).
  9. When people leave, they speak bad about them and/or excommunicate them.
  10. They make you attend every church function and make you feel guilty if you don’t.
  11. There is a lot of gossip and slander in the church; people run to the pastor like they are kids, and the pastor is the parent.
  12. The church doesn’t fellowship with other congregations.
  13. They feel they are the only ones who have divine revelation.
  14. They focus heavily on titles and not on Jesus.
  15. Their members will fight you over them, or any correction you may have concerning the treatment of the parishioners.
  16. They have a whole lot of extra-biblical revelation not backed by the Word of God or sound elders.
  17. There isn’t a church board, nor leader connected to them; they expect everyone else to submit, but have not been submitted to anyone in years.
  18. They use flattery to get you in the congregation, but find fault in you to make you stay.
  19. They tell you if you leave the church you will never find your purpose outside of them.
  20. They turn you against your family and friends.
  21. You notice the church stays small, once it starts to grow someone leaves, it never really catches on.
  22. There are many similar stories of church abuse from those who left the community.
  23. Over excessive belief in deliverance, especially if you speak up against any of their behavior – they will tell you “that’s an educated demon”.
  24. Strong competitive spirit in the house amongst attendees and pastoral staff.
  25. The pastor is QUICK to call you “daughter or son” but doesn’t know you at all.
  26. Strong focus on the exterior as opposed to the interior.
  27. Mandatory prayer meetings that really are a witch hunt or some malicious prayer against someone who left.
  28. They put “The” before their title “The prophet, The Apostle,” etc.
  29. They sow discord amongst other members in the flock.
  30. They preach Saul and David via “touch not my anointed” to incite fear.

Bonus – Groupthink and uniformity is noticeable in the attire and attitude of the members.

Bonus 2 – They will call you a witch or jezebel if you disagree with them; they’ll discredit your name.

So, What’s the Play Call?

Whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36), and it is not the will of God for us to be entangled with ANY yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1).

So, if you find yourself trapped in an abusive church or under an abusive pastor or leader, get out! Leave. God has not called us to be anyone’s Messiah – that position is already taken, sealed, and finished in the complete work of Jesus Christ on the cross.

But, you can save yourself, and find a loving local fellowship with a leader after God’s heart. Yes, it is possible. Good under-shepherds who preach sound doctrine still exist.

It may be hard depending on how long you’ve been attached to the abusive church but cling to God’s perfect will for you. He loves you too much to sentence you to a life of spiritual abuse at the hands of someone who abuses their authority and Jesus’ precious name.

We are praying for your bold decision to be free and that God will lead you – not to a non-existent “perfect” church – but to one where the leader and the people are committed to love and sound doctrine. A church where the Word of God is given free reign (sovereign power) to teach, rebuke, correct, and train in righteousness under the guidance of the Holy Ghost (2 Timothy 3:16), in Jesus’ name.

God bless.

The Balancing Act: American vs. Kingdom Citizen

kingdom citizen

The Epidemic of Fear

A glance at the news at any moment in time and citizens of all nationalities ask, “What’s going on?”  There are constant introductions of new hashtags representing yet another African-American man killed by police. Peaceful protests are manipulated into attacks on the flag and law enforcement.

We see video footage of graphic, up-close loss of human life right before our eyes. The scenes playing on our smartphones, TVs, and computer screens all look like a terrible nightmare or rated R movie.

Parents are expressing fear for the lives of their children in school. Activists, like Black Lives Matter, are fed up, and people are reaching their breaking points.

As humans, we all feel it. We are not so heavenly-minded that we don’t feel the pain and suffering of family members who will never see their loved ones again on this side.

So, in the middle of all this chaos, how do we balance our humanity with our citizenship in the Kingdom of God? Is there any Word from The Lord?

Remember Your Spiritual Birthright as a Kingdom Citizen

righteous judgeIn general, a person receives his or her citizenship by birthright or application. When you accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, you became a citizen of His Kingdom (1 Peter 2:9), with access to all rights and privileges contained in our playbook, the Bible.

So, when your American citizenship (or any other country of origin) says you’re afraid, you’re hopeless, you’ll “never be free”, you’re living in lack, your clock is ticking, or anything outside of the jurisdiction of God’s Wordre-claim your spiritual birthright.

When you claim your spiritual birthright, you remember that your life is “hid safely with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3).  You will begin to recall that the promises of God are real and true. When you remember your spiritual birthright, you’ll begin to remove the natural limitations and shortcomings of this world and lean into your purpose as designed by God.

Our citizenship in the Kingdom of God comes with its own language; we speak in Faith, proudly declaring what the Word of God says.

The King Has Already Spoken

The news and media will continue to run heart-wrenching stories; truthfully, a part of us is glad – especially when the truth is told. But there’s another part of us that wants to run and avoid the truth.

We’re calling all Kingdom Citizens to monitor what you allow to settle in your spirit.

Whose report do you believe? CNN? Fox? Associated Press?

What are you meditating on? Facebook? YouTube? Or the Word of God?

If you are living in total fear, you have believed the wrong report! Fear is not of God; God is love. Perfect love (God) evicts all fear from your heart (1 John 4:18).

The Word of the Lord in 2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. If we believe in God and trust in the truth of his Word, we have no reason to walk in fear.

Take a Break: Get Into God’s View

While it is ok to be aware of what’s going on in the world, it is not ok for us as Kingdom citizens to believe CNN over the Word of GOD!

When our American citizenship gets too burdensome to bear, it’s our privilege to remember the family of God we were born-again into. The spiritual birthright wins every time against humanity’s naturalization.

The same way many of us have poured over articles and videos surrounding the state of America, how much more are we to meditate on the Word of God?

So, What’s the Play Call?

Make an intentional shift to refocus your heart and your mind today.

Here are a couple of promises to get you started:

Joshua 1:9 says that we are to be strong and courageous!  Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.

Isaiah 41:10  reads – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

The choice is yours…sad, hopeless, fearful American – or strong, proud, victorious Kingdom Citizen?

Contributors Kim Bright & Lamica Burnett

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